


Kiss With a Fist

by captainafroelf



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Black Character(s), Black Family, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Character of Color, Female Friendship, Friendly Exes, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Interracial Relationship, Kidnapping, Male Character of Color, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Pietro Maximoff Lives, Serious Injuries, Stalking, Steve Rogers is Not a Virgin, Superpower Sex, There Might Be a Death I'm Debating It, They basically fight for petty reasons and then things happen, mild alcoholism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-05-24 18:36:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 43,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6162820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainafroelf/pseuds/captainafroelf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kijana Harrison, known by the public as "Aja", has never been the typical hero. In fact, she hasn't always been a hero. She's tough, sarcastic, and fiercely against following orders.<br/>So, when she is offered a spot in the ultimate do-gooder team, she isn't sure where she fits.<br/>And matters are made all the more complicated by growing feelings for a certain American icon, and the return of a dark figure from her past that she has tried so desperately to rid herself of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Fresh Start For the Wild Card

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my God, this is gonna be fun (for me!). Steve and Kijana are salty bitches and will remain this way for a few chapters, that's your warning. There ya go.  
> 

On a list of high-stress moments, being handcuffed to a table while The Avengers argue about whether or not you should go to prison is at the top. It has to be close. Not to mention the fact that being in handcuffs was something Kijana was extremely accustomed to at this point in her life.

“I'm not saying she's unfit to be on the team, her powers are like nothing we've seen,” Steve said. “Regardless, how do we know if we can trust her?”

Natasha shrugged. “We don’t, but isn’t that the fun part?”

Sam sighed. Kijana was on the other side of the one-way mirror, rattling the handcuffs, begging for attention. “She’s from the neighborhood, we know that. She’s powerful, we know that. How she got powers is the only thing we _don’t_ know.”

They watched her, observing her from behind the glass. She didn’t really look intimidating, unless you found her muscles and arms covered in strange tattoos intimidating. Most of her face was rather soft. It was her eyes that could strike fear into anyone, they were round and hazel, gripping to anything they saw and silently warning them not to mess with her.

Steve leaned on the wall and looked through her file. “No, that’s not the only thing we don’t know. Her entire history from the age of seventeen forward has mysteriously disappeared. How does that happen unless someone has something to hide?”

“We all have something to hide.” Natasha argued. “Some more than others.”

“She’s not Hydra.” Rhodey argued.  “She’s a young Black radical, there’s no way she’s Hydra. NYPD arrested her while she was rescuing a little girl from a burning building, Cap! She's on our side!”

Steve sighed. “I know she's ‘good’, but is she an _Avenger_?”

“Following that logic, am I?” Nat asked. Steve looked down.

Sam stepped forward. “Listen, Steve, I know the idea of information being withheld isn't your thing, I completely get it after everything that happened with Hydra and S.H.I.E.L.D, but the woman in there just endured fourteen hours of interrogation from NYPD detectives who've hated her for years only for us to keep her in the room longer to have some kind of moral debate about whether or not she's good enough.”

Steve furrowed his brows and sighed. “I'll go talk to her.”

“You sure that's a smart idea?” Sam asked. "You're not exactly a fan of hers to begin with."

“I can be unbiased, Sam, besides what could she do to me while handcuffed to a table?”

Steve walked into the interrogation room and Kijana screamed at him to let her out. Tears streaked the black makeup around her eyes. “Great, Captain America is here to be sensible and brave! You can't leave me handcuffed here!” she shouted. “I’m not a fucking animal, you have to let me go!”

“Miss Harrison.”

She shook her head, hazel eyes shooting vicious daggers at him. “When I’m in costume, I’m Aja.”

“I'm not talking to 'Aja', Kijana.” he told her. “I'm talking to the real you.”

She rolled her eyes. “The real me is fucking pissed right now!” she told him. “You and those pigs out there have no right to handcuff me to a table like a goddamn dog outside of a restaurant! You don’t know a damn thing about me or what I’ve done! As far as I'm concerned, this is police brutality.”

Steve took off the handcuffs and she rubbed her sore wrists, Steve then watched them heal right before his eyes. “I know we know nothing about you, and that's the issue.” he said. “My teammates don't want you in jail, and neither do I. We think you do good work and should be allowed to continue that work. Where we disagree is that they want you to be an Avenger.”

Kijana gasped, making her eyes as big as they could get. “Shocker!” She laughed at her own mock surprise. “I'm very powerful, I have healing abilities, I'm pretty, what's not to love? I'd want me on the Avengers, too. But _you_ don't want someone _you_ know nothing about. That's rational, that's what people expect "Cap" to do, right? I mean, I'm not exactly your type, honey.”

“I just need to know who I'm working with. I need to be able to trust you.”

Kijana giggled. “I don't want anyone wearing that bullshit flag to trust me, I don't trust them.” She smirked. “But I do hear you hero types have sweet health plans. I'm down for that.”

“Any other angles?”

She giggled. "Well, that's up to you, isn't it?" When her joke fell, she moved on. “I obviously want in on the k-pop group you have here, there's no other fucking angle,” she told him. “If I join, I'll get better gear to guard my hood with on my downtime, and y'all get me and my powers. It's a win-win as far as I'm concerned.”

Natasha burst through the door. “Rogers, stop talking. She agreed to join.”

“She wasn't asked to!”

Kijana sighed and crossed her legs, as if negotiating a contract in a business meeting. “Obviously, I was.” She leaned forward, looking Steve in the eyes. “You wanna trust me? Fine. I’m not gonna give you the details because you strike me as a self-righteous asshat,  but I’ve done shit you don’t wanna hear about, I’ve hurt people that are still after me, I got my powers from someone who I thought wanted to help me. I’m unstable, bitchy, and rude. But there’s one thing I’ll never be, and that’s deceitful.”

Steve looked in her eyes and felt her sincerity. He turned to Natasha, standing impressed by the door. The silent exchange that happened in front of Kijana was interesting, there was a lot of nodding and eyebrow movement that could only make sense to two people who’d known each other for a long time.

Steve sighed and turned back to her, she was trying to hide her nervousness but she kept shifting in her seat, and her shoulders were stiff as shoulders could be. “When can you start training?”

She smiled and relaxed a bit. “Give me a week, Spangles.” she told him. “I promise I won’t fuck up.”

“Welcome to the team.”

He extended his hand for her to shake and she shook it emphatically. “You made a good choice.”

* * *

 

Kijana was released and she rushed straight home. She couldn’t go the normal way, as she was still in costume, so she used alleyways and rooftops. It wasn’t hard, her powers gave her strength and the ability to jump great heights.

She made it to her building and used the fire escape to land on the window sill. The lights were on, but she’d left in the morning so that could only mean one of two things:

_Option A: This burglar turns on lights like an amateur idiot_

_Option B: Wade  
_

She went inside and, surely enough, her ex-husband and sometimes best friend was there sitting on the couch. She could see that goofy grin tugging at the fabric of his red mask.

Seeing him always warmed her heart but the mere sight of that red and black could also give her a headache. Wade did that to people.

“Wade.”

“Keej!” he exclaimed. “You look super hot in those superhero hot pants. Why did we get divorced again?”

She kissed him on the forehead. “We work better as a platonic sometimes duo, the sex was really fun, though.”

“What? You don’t miss the mutual lack of mental stability?” he asked her. “I’m shocked and hurt.”

Kijana took her cold pizza out of his hands. “Be hurt then. Dude, I thought you were in Vancouver.”

“I was, and I guess I’ll return when the plot demands, but I wanted to come see you first since I’m in town for a quick job.”

She took a bite of the pizza slice and stood across from him. “I have news for you.”

He stood up and scooped her cat into his arms, fluffing her orange striped fur. “I had a feeling you might before I got here, we are _so_ connected, Keej..." He turned to the cat and lifted up her tail. "Hi Sunshine! I remember when you were a baby, and your asshole wasn’t nearly as prominent.”

“Okay Wade, don’t freak out, I’m an Avenger now.”

Wade gasped, nearly throwing the cat across the room. “You?! My little time bomb?! They let you on THE team?!” He raised an eyebrow. “Do they know you’re double-jointed and not to be trusted? I heard Tony Stark wears lacy panties under the Iron Man suit, you have to confirm that one for me.”

“Wade.”

“By any means necessary, Kijana.”

“Wade, this is serious, I think I may actually want to do a good job.”

He dismissively waved away the thought of her doing anything besides a good job. “You’ll be fine as long as you don’t sleep with anyone on the team! That’s so fucking dope! Holy fucking shit, Kijana is an Avenger… That’s one for the scrapbook!”

“You _finally_ started scrapbooking?” she asked. “I tried to get you into that before we got married.”

He put Sunshine on the ground as gently as he could before heading for the window. “Nope, the day I get into scrapbooking is the day I stop masturbating and I think we both know what's not gonna happen, Kijana."

She crossed her arms, fondly shaking her head. His visits were always too short, and she was probably one of five entire people who felt that way about Wade Wilson. “I forgot to tell you, I might’ve pissed off Captain America.”

Wade sighed blissfully. “Never change, Keej.”

“See you soon, Wade!”

He stuck a foot out the window and waved to her. “See you soon, buddy.”


	2. The Room Where It Happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still openly ignoring Pietro's death.

Standing in the training room with all the other newly-minted Avengers was beyond weird. Kijana didn’t necessarily feel out of place but she felt... ill-prepared. Her entire life she was raised to think independently and fend for herself, she never had to learn how to work in a team. Plus, the person she was most similar to in that room was Scarlet Witch, that didn’t help much either.

She stayed in the corner, not entirely comfortable enough to strike up a conversation with anyone. She wasn’t shy, just a little intimidated. It was feeling she wasn’t quite used to but found herself experiencing a lot lately.

Wanda came up to her. “You’re nervous.” she said.

Kijana chuckled. “Yeah, no shit.”

The scarlet clad woman grinned. “Don’t be, if you don’t shoot at them these people are harmless.”

 Kijana shifted uncomfortably on her feet and stretched her arms. Wanda's twin brother, Pietro, ran over to join them, whispering a joke in Wanda's ear that made her gasp. They reminded her of her own brothers, goofy and tight-knit. It was hard to imagine one without the other.

Wanda turned back to Kijana and they studied each other for a moment. “I like your hair,” they said in unison. Kijana pointed to Wanda’s long dark brown waves and Wanda admired Kijana’s sandy colored curls. “Thanks!” This was also said in unison, followed by laughter.

“Your hair is naturally this color?” Wanda asked.

Kijana shook her head and parted her hair to show her dark roots. “I wanted to see if I could look like a less put together Beyonce.”

Wanda smiled. “Solid reason.”

“Plus, I have four brothers and I look exactly like the oldest so I needed a distinguisher.”

“You are close to your brothers?” Wanda asked.

Kijana nodded. “I’m close to everyone I love. Abandonment issues. One of the reasons my relationships fuck up. We’re all in the same line of work at this point, knocking skulls. It’s good to have contacts, right?”

Wanda smiled. “Brothers are important.” Pietro grinned and she elbowed him. “Even annoying ones.”

“Don't let her fool you, she's the annoying one.” Pietro said.

“You sound just like my youngest brother, Brandon.”

Pietro bit his lip. “You're far too beautiful for us to be related.”

Wanda sighed. “Sorry about him.”

“It's cool, I'm aware of his… reputation.”

He smiled. “Good.”

In a weird domino effect, after the Maximoffs walked over to her, the other Avengers came to introduce themselves. She was starstruck by all of them, but probably by Rhodey most of all. 

She shook his hand, trying her absolute hardest not to smile too wide and seem too eager. "Hey, uh, Colonel Rhodes, great to meet you, sir!"

"Great to meet you in person, Kijana." he said. "These two bothering you?"

"Rhodey!" Pietro said with a gasp. "We would _never_."

Rhodey sucked his teeth. "Good one. Anyway, we're all excited to have you on the team. You'll be great."

"Oh, thanks. That means a lot coming from you." she told him. "You're a personal hero of mine."

He grinned. "Wow, I usually get that about Tony."

She shook her head. "Stark's got nothing on you, don't be ridiculous."

Steve walked in and called Kijana over to him. Their first meeting wasn’t pleasant and, frankly, she wasn’t expecting much from this one. She’d always seen Steve from a distance. He was Captain America, national icon, war hero, Super Soldier. He was meant to be a symbol of a American values and the goodness of people, two things she didn’t see all that often in her life.

"Looks like duty calls." she sighed.

"I'll talk to you later."

She walked over to him, standing with guarded posture as if she were preparing for him to yell at her. When he didn’t, she let out a sigh of relief. “Today is the first day of your training, so I’m sure you’re nervous.”

“No…” she replied. “A little pressured, yeah, but not nervous.”

“Well, um, good. I was about to say there’s no reason for you to be nervous, we’re all confident in your skill set.”

“Are we?” she asked. “You seem like the type to need convincing, am I right?”

Steve sighed. “Look, I have nothing against you but-”

She put her hand up. “Save it. Natasha mentioned something about me being partnered up for a few months to shadow someone. Who is it?”

“Sam,” he replied. “Best partner you could have.”

“Can’t argue with that, I guess.”

“Today is just your introduction to the facility. Sam and I will take you around.” He called Sam over.

Kijana felt like she was a freshman in high school again and she didn’t like it. It wasn’t like Wade was an Avenger, he couldn’t make it easier for her. None of her other vigilante friends could do her any good here either, not Daredevil, or her brothers. She was in this practically alone, and part of that scared her. She could vividly remember the last time she was alone...

“Hi, I’m Sam.”

Kijana shook Sam’s hand, excitedly. She’d heard about Falcon from friends in DC, nothing but good things. “I’m Kijana.”

“You two ready to walk around the place?” Steve asked.

“ _You_ wanna walk around with _me_ ? Are you sure you _trust me_ enough?” she asked.

Steve rolled his eyes and started leading them around. The first place they headed to was the lab. The newest model of the War Machine suit was lying on a table as Stark apprentices toyed with designs. A few of them looked up and grinned when they saw her, she waved.

“These are the people who will be designing your new uniform.” Sam explained.

She gasped. “I’ve always wanted a high tech uniform! I was briefly married to a person who had a nice one but never made one for me, at least not one that didn’t vaguely look like his… bastard.”

Sam and Steve both turned to her. “Who were you married to?” Sam asked.

“Deadpool.” she said, matter of factly. “Y’all ain’t know?” They shook their heads.

“That definitely wasn’t on the record.” Sam told her.

She noticed the shock on their faces and decided to clear something up right away. “It wasn’t illegal and it wasn’t something I regret if that’s what you’re wondering. We married each other on a dare and stuck it out for a few months and shit didn’t work out.”

“Hmm, you’ll have to tell me about that later...” Sam said.

“Agreed, it’s kind of a weird story anyway.”

Steve chuckled. “Well, it’s a weird couple.” Kijana raised an eyebrow at him, and he cleared his throat and led them forward. “Next place we’ll go is the common area.”

She scoffed. “You got somethin’ to say about Deadpool, you better say it!”

* * *

 

They walked around the whole facility, the last place to go was the gym. While the training area was large and spacious, the gym was full of free weights, with a boxing ring in the center. That was the first thing to catch Kijana’s eye.

She walked toward it with fondness, as if meeting up with an old friend, before stepping inside. “My step dad taught me to box when I was in high school,” she said. “Self defense and all that. Some of my best memories have been in a boxing ring. You box, Spangles?”

“Sometimes.” he replied.

She smiled as a sudden idea came into her head: A trust fall.  “Come up here and fight my ass, then.”

He shook his head and laughed, but she wasn’t joking. She was dead serious. Her offer to fight Steve was completely on the table and she refused to leave the ring unless he agreed. She wanted to know that he felt comfortable with her, or at least that he was trying to.

“I’m afraid of how you’ll answer this but why the fuck not?”

“Maybe later in actual training but not today.”

“It’ll be fun and bring us closer.”

“I doubt that very seriously.”

She sighed. “Fine, okay, I just wanted to punch you.” she admitted.

“I’m not surprised.” Steve said.

“Not surprised? Tell me why.” She leaned on the ropes and furrowed her brows.

Sam tried to diffuse the situation by slowly putting himself between them, but what he didn’t realize was that he was standing in the middle of the two people on earth least likely to give up an argument.

“You want my honest opinion?” Steve asked.

Sam groaned. “Oh my God…”

She nodded. “Sure, go ahead. Tell me what you think.”

“You’re a great fighter but you have a bad temper.”

Kijana scoffed. “Yeah, well, you’d fucking have a temper too if you had to spend your day with someone who openly distrusts you for zero fucking reason!”

“Wow, this isn’t going remotely well.” Sam whispered to himself.

“I have my reasons.” Steve argued.

“No, you have paranoia! It’s a wonder you’ve managed to make friends with that ballsack of an attitude.”

“Maybe it’s not that I’m paranoid, maybe I just don’t completely trust you. People are allowed to do that.”

“People are allowed to keep shit to themselves too. Fuck, like, I’m sorry you were betrayed by the government, boo fucking hoo, that’s the story of half my friend’s lives! But we’re teammates now so get the fuck over yourself.”

“Wow, I’m not the one throwing a fit because someone _won’t_ fight them.”

She stepped out of the ring and stood in front of him. He was taller than her, bigger than her, stronger than her, but he didn’t scare her. “You won’t fight me because you think I’m going to go too far. You think I’m going to lose it. Like I told you, Rogers. I’m a lot of things, but I’m not deceitful!”

She walked out and Steve watched her go before Sam non-verbally urged him to swallow his pride and follow her. He knew he had to fix this, somehow. That was part of being a leader, fixing things.

He caught up to her in the hallway and stopped behind her, she rolled her eyes before facing him. “Spangles.”

He sighed. “You’ve gotta stop calling me that.”

“I’ll consider it, but no promises, it’s about the only thing that actually like about you right now.” she said. “What do you want from me? I have a sweet potato pie in the fridge. Or at least I _hope_ I do. I never know with my apartment complex...”

“Why do you act like this? Why do you act like you don’t take anything seriously?” he asked. “I know this team thing is odd, it was odd for me too-”

Kijana laughed loudly. “What do you want me to tell you? I’m fucked up, just like you are. I’m just not the biggest fan of you projecting your paranoia onto me when I really didn’t do a thing to you.”

Steve ran his fingers through his hair. “Okay, I get that, and I’m sorry,” he said. “But The Avengers is bigger than the both of us.”

“Sure.”

“So, we both need to treat it that way.”

“How do you know that I’m not?” She asked him. She lowered her voice a little bit, trying not to attract attention. “Honestly, Spangles, don't you get it? I'm an asshole, by birth. It’s part of me. Everyone on this team is a little bit of an asshole except for maybe Sam and probably Vision. I mean, I get that you want to assert your role as The Leader, but I'm not intimidated by you or this job. So lighten up. You are not my babysitter.” She pressed an indignant finger to his chest. “And you need me, not the other way around.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then what was all that about new uniforms and gear, huh? Protecting your people?” Steve asked.

“What about it?”

“Kijana, don’t act like this is in no way mutually beneficial. We are working for the same things and protecting the same people, at least I think we are, and it'll all be easier if we cooperate with each other, understand?”

She took a deep breath. “Loud and clear.” she said. “But, for the record, I still want to fight you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, they are fighting for practically no reason. But will *they* figure that out? Who knows...


	3. Meet The Harrisons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And Steve thought ONE was a handful.  
> Also, not gonna lie, editing while half-asleep is not smart.

Kijana snuck in through her window and set her bag down on the ground. She was dead tired. Almost too tired to notice her four brothers, clad in their all-black gear, standing in her living room, watching Waiting to Exhale on her tv.

“The fuck?”

“KEEJ!” they shouted.

“Congratulations! You a goddamn superhero!” sang Leon, who was the third oldest with the fullest beard.

“Fuck…” She sighed and rubbed her temples, dropping her backpack on the ground by the window. “Wade must have told you. What is with you people breaking into my fucking apartment?”

"What do you mean 'you people'?" Leon chuckled. “Why do you leave the window open in the middle of the summer as if we’re the worst thing that can climb through.”

“You know Wade never could keep that fuckin’ mouth shut, sis. Don’t know what you expected.” said the eldest, Dorian. He'd been growing his hair out, and now it's length almost matched his sister's. “How was your very first day of Avengers training, baby face?”

She went to the fridge and let out a breath of relief when she found her pie. “Oh it was just _dandy_!” she said. She grabbed a fork and slammed the drawer closed before sinking into the couch. “It was amazing! Just great! Super cool! Steve Rogers thinks I’m an uncaring piece of shit and I haven’t even really started to train yet.”

The youngest brother, Brandon, had his tired eyes glued to the screen as Angela Bassett blessed the universe with her good looks. He was twirling his knife in the air as if it were a drumstick. “Sorry to break this to you, but you are a rather uncaring piece of shit, Keej,” he told her. “I love you to death, you're a great sister and friend. You put on a good show, but there’s a cobweb where your sense of decorum should be.”

“Oh fuck off.”

“See? It’s shit like that that tends to land you with reputations like ‘uncaring piece of shit’. I’m not making this shit up, I am your brother. You used to babysit me and then let me play with Dorian’s knife collection.”

Dorian gasped. “You told him my safe combo?”

She rolled her eyes. “Who told your ass to use mom’s birthday as a safe combo?” she asked. “Brandon was six and in gifted classes, did you expect him not to at least try to figure out on his own?”

“He could’ve killed himself!”

“He was smart, he knew not to touch the blades! Plus, look at him now! He's a knife master!”

Dorian sat next to her and she put her legs up on him. “Sis-”

“Tyler, aren’t you allergic to cats?!” she shouted, startling her lanky brother who’d been standing by the door rubbing Sunshine the entire time they’d been there.

“Sunshine isn’t a normal cat.” he argued. “She’s _your_ cat. She’s like, if the sun had fur.”

She looked on in concern but decided to just let him be. People who didn’t know the siblings well assumed that she was the oddest one in the group, with her being constantly irritated and dressing like Lisa Bonet’s closet exploded and everything. Those who knew Tyler knew that simply wasn’t the truth. That kid was true weirdness. He even freaked Wade out a little bit the first time they met. But he also didn’t care.

“Keej, you know you can sometimes be hard to be around,” Dorian said. “You do know that, right?”

“I do not know that.” she lied. “I’m a lovely gyal, with a lovely personality.”

Leon sighed and the brothers looked at each other and then back at her. “Remember when you first started dating Wade and we had to literally tell him that you isolating yourself for days was just part of your mental illness and not because you secretly hated him and how he still kept asking if you hated him for weeks after that?”

Brandon nodded. “I remember. Remember that time we were meeting with the mayor and you went on a rant about how governments are full of ‘fat elitist bastards’ and had to be escorted out and even then wouldn't stop talking?”

“Yes, I remember. I was there, but y'all out here acting like I'm completely at fault and I'm not. “

“What did Captain America do to you?” Dorian asked.

“The blond bitch doesn't trust me! I'm too mysterious or unpredictable.” she replied. “He's fucking paranoid.”

“You are both blonde and paranoid, Kijana…” Tyler reminded her. “You used to tell me about your weird, violent dreams all the time and how you double check the apartment before going to sleep. It was quite interesting, I might write a screenplay.”

“You didn’t trust Wade at first…” Dorian pointed out. “You hated him.”

Kijana cocked her head to the side and tried remembering what the earlier part of her relationship with Wade was like. She was so used to being friends with him that she couldn’t even recall a time where she wasn’t. “I don’t remember that at all.”

Dorian’s eyes widened and he dramatically rubbed his face. “Kijana, you met when he was sent to murder you.”

“I only vaguely remember that part.”

He kept going. “You threatened to use his mask to choke him, several times. You broke all of his guns with your powers. He had you dangling from a balcony once. The only reason y’all started getting friendly is because you both like Star Wars.”

She grinned fondly, suddenly remembering. “I got him a t-shirt with Han and Leia on it that said ‘You Kiss Better Than My Brother’ and we mutually agreed not to kill each other.”

“You tellin’ me you can’t make that happen with Steve Rogers? Shouldn’t it be the slightest bit easier to decode Steve Rogers than it is untangling the endless mindfuck that is Wade Wilson?” Brandon asked her. “I mean, damn, Keej. You gotta try something, you can’t be fighting with this dude while y’all are supposed to be fighting aliens and robots and shit. That’s lame, petty, 90s era rap beef shit. Isn’t that right, Leon?”

Leon, who’d joined Tyler in smothering Sunshine with affection, looked up at his other siblings absentmindedly. “What’s happening?”

Brandon groaned. “You’re the music guy, you took classes on it in community college, isn’t this like a 90s era rap beef?”

“Oh! No.” Leon replied. “90s era rap beefs had reasons behind them, even the dumb ones, even the _fake_ ones. That’s what made them so believable and fun to keep up with. This is like a 70s era glam rock beef or a mid-2000s Disney Channel beef. Stupid as all hell and probably could be resolved with sex but probably won’t be.”

Tyler whistled. “You heard the man.”

Kijana glared at them. “I’m not _fucking_ Steve Rogers.”

“You say that now but ask yourself why it is y’all are fighting in the first place and you might discover something.” Leon told her. “I mean, I hated Daniela when we first met and now we’re married and in a rock band together. Maybe you both just want to rip each other's clothes off and don't know what to do with those feelings because you met in an odd way.”

“My boyfriend and I got along great at first.” Dorian announced.

“We know!” Shouted the other siblings.

Brandon chuckled to himself. “You think sex fixes everything, Leon.”

“It does! You’ll understand when you’re older and get a person of your own.”

“No, no, no. Weird relationships have to be hereditary. Dorian and his weird ass artist boyfriend who insists that I call him Q, Kijana and her super bizarre mercenary ex who, I swear, knows the words to every song from RENT-”

“Um, so do I.” Kijana pointed out.

Brandon rolled his eyes. “ _Anyway_ , then we have Leon and his girlfriend who somehow hate-fucked their way to commitment and love, and Tyler’s imaginary relationship with FKA Twigs.”

Tyler grinned and kissed the top of Sunshine’s head before finally setting her down so that she could run to the litterbox. “Give it time, little bro, she’ll be voguing her way into my life.”

“I fucking hate you.” Brandon said.

Dorian shook his head. Wondering, as always, how he deals with this family on a regular basis. “So, Kijana, play nice. Genuinely play nice. Try. Invite him to one of Leon’s gigs, get beers, work out together, do something besides beef without reason.”

“Fuck each other.” Leon suggested.

Dorian frantically shook his head and held Kijana’s face in his hands. “ _Don’t_ fuck each other.” He pulled his mask over his eyes and checked the time. “Well, boys, sun’s about to set, people are about to get hurt, we should get going.”

The others stood up and put on their masks, gearing up to run across rooftops patrolling the neighborhood. Kijana sighed and stretched her legs out across the couch. “Wait, does mom know? Does dad?”

Dorian shook his head. “Nah, we’ll leave that to you unless Wade somehow can get to New Orleans and back to Vancouver in like three hours.”

They all kissed their sister on the forehead and said goodbye before rushing out the window. Kijana got up and closed it before Sunshine could follow them, something she was fully getting ready to do. She made a mental note to buy a lock, but then erased that mental note because she liked when those hooligans broke in and, honestly, she could kill a burglar with the flick of a wrist.

Her brothers were right, of course, she knew she had to make it work somehow. She couldn’t just act salty for the sake of acting salty, but she knew that it would be hard not to. Trust was not a simple thing to her, she’d been working on trusting herself for years.


	4. Rough Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was way longer than I expected it to be.

_“You could have power beyond your wildest dreams,” said the Stranger. Kijana wasn’t sure how long she’d been in that alley, but she was there now. He was there, too. The Stranger._

_“What a way to wake someone up…” she said. Her words slurred together, and she finally noticed the taste of blood on her tongue. “Who the fuck are you? Fucking James Earl Jones ass hallucination ass… Fuck…”_

_The Stranger didn’t answer that, not yet. He helped her up first. Her stomach was in terrible pain, her face was bruised and bloodied. Her skirt was hiked up and a heel had broken off of her left shoe._

_How old was she then? Seventeen? Eighteen? Didn’t matter. She was a beautiful drunk, half-dressed Black girl who fought her ass off the night before in a fight she clearly didn’t win. She was perfect for him, stunningly so._

_“Who are you, child?” He was Black, as most people in the neighborhood were. But that accent… It was warm, inviting, like that of her curly haired elementary school crush who's jean jacket was covered in the patches of old punk rock bands. His father used to smoke cigars outside of the Little League games, and he spoke the sweetest Spanish to her out on the schoolyard. The old man’s accent… it caught her off-guard._

_His wrinkled, scarred face reminded her of neighbors and grandparents, most long dead and gone. They’d given her sage advice and taught her to stand for what she believed in. She couldn’t even look him in the eyes, not in this state. She felt generations of disappointed eyes falling on her beaten, bruised body._

_“Kijana,” she told him. She spat a bit of blood out onto the street. “Just Kijana to you.” She pulled away from him, stumbling slightly. “I don’t fucking need your help, old man! Get the fuck out of here!”_

_“You do need my help, you’re badly hurt.”_

_“I’m fine! I got into a fight last night with a bunch of dudes, no biggie. My brothers have had worse done to them by the police.” She tried walking but only stumbled. “They put something in my drink and I tried to put them in a box.”_

_“You have four brothers,” he said. “Strong and fast… Vigilantes, are they not?”_

_She looked back at the stranger and her eyes were wide with fear. “How do you know who I am?”_

_The old man smirked. “I’ll tell you everything if you come with me,” he replied softly. “Like I said, I can give you power beyond your wildest dreams…”_

“NO!” Kijana found herself screaming at the top of her lungs, sitting straight up. Beads of sweat trickled down her face as if she’d just finished running a marathon. “No, no, no… I’m not going with you again! I’m not FUCKING going!”

But she wasn’t in an alley. She was in her bedroom in her shitty apartment. Her satin bonnet had fallen off in the middle of the night and some of her bantu knots came undone. There were tears streaking down her cheeks, snot running from her nose. Her muscles were tense with panic. She was so glad no one saw her like this. She wasn’t proud of this, whatever it was. What made it worse was how hard it was to explain.

She rubbed her eyes with her hands. “Fuck, man…” Sunshine sat at her door and they made eye contact. “Don’t look at me like that, this is why you’re here. You’re here to comfort me. That’s the whole reason why God made cats.”

She got up and scooped the cat up, kissing the top of her head, right behind her ears. The purring was good sound, a warm sound. It vibrated against her chest.

“I wish I could read your mind… Anything to get out of mine…”

She set Sunshine down on the couch and got showered and dressed. It was so early in the morning, she had an hour before she had to leave, but she could hear the hustle on the sidewalk below. Little kids ran to their schoolbus, men in jumpsuits carrying toolkits bopped their heads to the old school soul playing from the window of an older neighbor’s apartment. These were her people, through and through, and she'd get through whatever the Avengers threw at her because they needed her to get through it.

* * *

 

When she got to the facility, Vision and Wanda were talking by the elevator. She grinned at them. Wanda grinned back but Vision was visibly concerned.

“You look terribly exhausted.” he told her.

She sighed. “You must be referring to the bags beneath my otherwise radiant eyes and the fact that my expression probably looks like one that someone would have after getting hit by a balloon filled with mayonnaise. Well, nightmares keep me up.”

“What kinds of nightmares?” Wanda asked.

Kijana heard her stomach growl, somehow she missed breakfast. It was just that kind of day. “Not fun nightmares, it’s mostly memories, bad ones.”

“Are they violent?” Vision asked.

She shook her head. “I wish they were…” she said. “At least my brain shuts off when something’s punching me…”

The elevator arrived and they all got in. Kijana found herself picking with a bit of skin hanging off her thumb. She pulled it back until she felt a jolt of pain, then left it alone. Skin picking was an old nervous habit, and a bad one.

“Sam told us you and Steve weren’t getting along.” Wanda said. “Why so?”

Kijana groaned. “I’m an asshole, he’s an asshole. I’m sure it’ll work itself out in time.”

Vision shrugged. “Steve’s fairly easy to befriend. Even if he doesn’t completely trust someone.” She looked at him and he grinned. “I think you’ll be fine.”

The elevator got to their floor and Kijana took a deep breath. Everyone was getting ready for that day’s training, and Steve was joking with Sam about something.

“Steve Rogers laughs?” she joked. “I guess you don't have the personality of a pair of crocs after all.”

He rolled his eyes. “I laugh when something's funny, Harrison.”

She pretended to wince. “My ego! So bruised.”

“I thought you couldn't bruise with the whole healing thing.”

“I can but, much like sunburns, they're easier to see on your skin. Melanin privilege.”

Sam laughed and Steve shrugged. Kijana swore she saw the ghost of a grin on his face. It might have just been wishful thinking.

“Today starts your physical training.”

“Cool, can I spar Sam this time?” she asked. “I feel comfortable with him.”

“Sure, but you won't really be sparring today.” Steve told her. “You'll be going on a simulated mission with me and Natasha supervising you.”

She scoffed and whined. “Shit, I was hoping Nat and I could have some girl time and discuss Carly Rae Jepsen over some red wine.”

Steve sighed. “First, I need a quick run-through of all your powers again.”

She took a deep breath. “Self healing, ability to heal others, slightly enhanced speed, enhanced jumping ability, enhanced strength, earth manipulation, and another one that I will absolutely never fucking use.”

“Why not?” Steve asked.

She stretched her arms. “Just be glad I won’t use it on you or anyone else and stop asking about it.”

“Follow me.”

Natasha grinned as they followed behind him and leaned into Kijana’s ear. “You two are getting along.”

She giggled. “Like a dog and a cat.“

“He'll warm up to you.” she said.

“I dunno. I kinda want to see how far I can push him or whatever.” She noticed Natasha’s raised eyebrow. “ _Kidding_.”

“I think that might be your only problem, Kijana.”

“If you manage to live the life I've lived and come out with any sense of humor, that's an achievement. Besides, he's really acting like a dickhole about my lack of a past.”

“Because no one gets to not have a past,” she said. “The past is all Steve has.”

“That's no way to live.”

“He knows.” Natasha looked over her face the same way Vision had earlier. “Rough night?”

Kijana chuckled. “Rough life.”

Beyond that, Natasha didn’t press the issue. Kijana appreciated that.

* * *

 

Mission simulations were hard. Like, _really_ hard. Kijana couldn’t remember the last time she’d done something so hard.

It was complete sensory overload. It started off with maybe two or three goons attacking her, which was manageable. But soon there were five, then ten. Then she had to watch for snipers. She was now hyper-aware of her surroundings, her body, her hearing. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d felt so overwhelmed.

After the third try, she turned to Steve and Natasha in the wings and put her hands on her tired hips as the poor agents who were acting as her punching bags got back into position. She probably looked twice as tired as she was. “Is there a reason you two aren’t joining me?” She asked.

Steve shrugged. “You’ve been handling yourself well so far.”

“Oh fuck off, am I ever going to be on a mission of this scale by _myself_?” She asked him. “I mean, honestly, Spangles. Fucking honestly. There were like twelve guys that time! Orgies don’t even have that many dicks on one woman at a time.”

Natasha chuckled. “She’s brash but she has a point, Steve. Maybe we should go down there, and get Sam, that’s who we paired her with, right?”

Steve looked back down at Kijana and then to Natasha. “How about one more round by herself then we bring Sam in.”

Kijana groaned and reached down to take off her shoe. “Or I could use you as a punching bag, Spangles.”

Natasha got up and left. “I’m getting Sam, don’t kill each other.”

Steve made his way down to the floor and they stood in awkward silence for a moment. Kijana opened her mouth to say something, but heard her brothers’ voices in her head and zipped it tight. She had to make it work, somehow. She had to make it work.

Steve sighed. “You _are_ doing fine on your own.” He told her. “I meant that.”

She sucked her teeth. “Thanks. I’d do better with help, but thanks.”

“Wow.”

“What?”

“You really know how to make everything sound like an argument.”

Kijana laughed sarcastically. “One of many superpowers.” She poked at the armor of his suit. “This bulletproof?”

He pulled his arm away. “It is…”

“Ever been shot?”

Steve tensed up. She could see that the question caught him off-guard, which was her intention. “Yes, I have.”

She raised an eyebrow. “How many times?”

“A few. Guns, lasers…”

Kijana nodded and stretched out her arms. “I’ve been shot over fifteen times.” She told him, casually. “Not a contest or anything, but I have. Five times by police in my legs and back, that shit hurts. Six in the gut. Once in the shoulder. Four times in the chest. Once in the ass, that was funny...”

Steve’s eyes were wide with shock, but she could see him trying not to react. “How are you still alive?” He asked her.

She smiled. “My healing powers are really good. Plus, I can control metals so bullets don’t get lodged in my body forever. No one’s ever managed to shoot me in the heart or the brain. Can’t imagine what that feels like. Probably hurts like a bitch.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

She shrugged. “Making small talk.”

Finally, she got the laugh she’d been hoping for, even if it wasn’t what she was going for. Steve couldn’t help himself. She genuinely thought that a conversation about being shot was small talk.

“Somethin’ tells me you haven’t had much experience with small talk, Harrison.”

She scoffed. “You mean like how you haven’t had much experience with women?”

He turned to respond, but Natasha had already returned with Sam. Sam chuckled. “Damn, Kijana, you look like you fought a war.”

She nodded. “Yeah, and the war won. I’m glad you’re here.”

“Glad to be here.”

Natasha supportively grinned at Kijana and got into position with the others. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

Kijana smiled as the agents charged towards them. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

* * *

 

“Why would you sneak up on me?!” Kijana screamed.

Steve held the ice to his cheek as Dr. Cho flashed a light into his mouth. He was being surprisingly calm about this, it was making Kijana panicky. 

“Is he okay, Dr. Cho?” Kijana asked.

Dr. Cho wiggled a tooth with her gloved finger and nodded. “You knocked a tooth loose, but I think he’ll live.”

“I’m so sorry, Steve!” Kijana said. “But, fuck, you scared me!”

He sighed. “Kijana, I’m surprisingly not mad.”

She ignored him and kept pacing. “I mean, fuck, it’s not like we were friends to begin with, but now you probably hate me.” She hit herself on the head. “I hate being hated. I hate it and I’m sorry.”

“I don’t _hate_ you.”

“Granted, I didn’t expect us to be besties or anything, but this is just solidifying a chaotic relationship and I’m already in one of those with a guy who wields swords for a living and half-jokingly wants to fuck Spiderman. My brothers warned me that-”

Steve put his hand on her shoulder and she pulled away instinctively, but turned to face him anyway and finally stopped pacing long enough to actually listen to what it was he had to say. “Kijana, you passed the test.”

“I did?”

“Yes, you completed the mission as it was instructed,” he told her. “And it’s been awhile since I’ve been punched quite like that.”

She smiled. In the face of their brief history, Kijana certainly never thought this would happen. “I work out.”

“Yeah, don’t ever do it again.”

She pouted and headed for the door. “I don’t go around hurting people unless they deserve it,” she told him. “Or if they ask me too.”

Steve didn’t want to know what she meant by that. “Kijana, one more thing.”

“Oh God.” She leaned on the doorway. “What is it?”

He swallowed his pride and non-verbally asked Dr. Cho to leave them alone. She got the message and left, but that only made Kijana want to leave with her.

Once they were alone, Steve set the ice pack down on a table and ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry.” He told her.

Her eyes widened and she leaned in to hear him better. “Pardon?”

He walked closer and looked her in the eyes, trying to convey his sincerity as best he could. “I’m sorry. I acted like an ass towards you in interrogation... and yesterday... and earlier today, it was wrong of me. I misjudged you, I guess.”

She let out a deep breath. “You were acting like an ass but, I was too.” She told him. “So I guess we both have something to apologize for.”

“Kijana, I’m not sure if I trust you.” He admitted. “But I’m willing to try if you are.”

She grinned. “I’ll think about it, but I still really want to fight you.”

“Wasn’t punching me enough?”

She shook her head, as if it were the most ridiculous thing he could’ve asked her. “I want a full fight, sir.”

He rubbed his aching jaw. “Maybe later.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many friendships have been built on punches to the jaw...


	5. Getting To Know You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kijana and Steve actually have a fucking normal conversation outside of work and LO AND BEHOLD discover that they don't hate each other after all.  
> Shocking.

When not fighting in alleys or moping, Kijana could usually be found in one place. It was about a train ride from her apartment, and the closest she could get to home outside of her actual home, the bookstore.

To her, the bookstore was a place where she could feel anonymity. She was surrounded by stacks of books, the smell of coffee from the second floor cafe, quiet indie music playing in the background. No one ever noticed her in there, because no one expected her to be there.

Usually, she stuck to the romance novels, there was just something about them that made her gravitate towards them every time she stepped inside a bookstore. Some of them were so hilariously campy, and others were so titillating that the names alone could make her shiver. Each one was a surprise.

Still, the cheaper and sleazier, the better. If they had cliches all over the place and were written in melodramatic purple prose, Kijana would read them on the floor of the bookstore right then and there. She didn’t care how low-brow it made her seem to enjoy them. At the very least, she was enjoying herself.

She looked over the paperback spines, her fingers dancing over the raised titles, waiting for one to catch her eye. She certainly looked like a romantic. Her sandy colored curls hit her shoulders, her makeup free skin was covered in freckles, her clothes were dark and her sundress was dramatically flowing. She had rings on every other finger and dangling earrings. This was her, off-duty and relatively carefree.

She grabbed a book about a sexy, perpetually shirtless seventies rock musician falling for a starry-eyed groupie, and went to the cafe. She’d been there so often, the barista smiled, instantly recognizing her face. “Hey, Kijana!”

She waved at the excitable barista, whose hand was already grazing a tall cup, she knew her so well. “Josie! How are you?”

Josie sighed. “Could be better, but I’m happy to see you, it’s been a while. The usual?”

Kijana nodded and dug through her bag for cash. “I got a new job and haven’t had time to stop by, Jo. Otherwise, I’d be sitting here everyday listening to The Wiz soundtrack and reading Fifty Shades of Grey because I am STRESSED.”

Josie chuckled. “There’s no better reason to not be here in my book.”

Kijana finally found her wallet, but her money wasn’t inside. The guy next to her cleared his throat. She sighed. “I’ll find it eventually, hold onto your thong.”

The guy chuckled and Kijana froze. She knew that laugh. “No rush.”

“Thanks for the patience…” she said. She handed Josie her cash. “But I’m in a rush.”

“Not good with small talk?”

Kijana groaned. She looked up to see none other than Steve Rogers standing there wearing sunglasses and a baseball cap, because that’s not suspicious at all. She rolled her eyes and took a deep breath. “Y’know, Steven, I’m just trying to enjoy my Saturday morning.”

“No one’s stopping you.” He told her. He looked her up and down. “You dress exactly like I thought you would.”

“Using my brother’s old leather jacket as a comfort blanket and not having the mental energy to apply make-up?”

He laughed. “No, it's just very you.”

“I’ll try not to be offended by that.” she said. “You ever come here before?”

He nodded. “Sometimes. Usually to buy art supplies.”

“Grandpa Stars and Stripes is an artist?”

Steve ordered, then he showed her his sketchbook and pencils. “I am. Are you an artist?”

Kijana shook her head. “I’m too impatient. Learning to fight is easier than learning to draw.” Josie handed her the drink; a tall green boba tea. ”How long have you been using that as a coping mechanism?”

“Since before the war, and before the everything else.”

She nodded. “I'd say that's cool, but you were frozen at one point and I don't wanna trigger your icy memories or anything.”

“Oh _ha ha_ , I don't even remember being frozen.”

“Yeah, the human brain's a weird piece of shit, isn't it?”

She nodded to affirmatively end the conversation and walked over to a table by the window. Steve followed her, setting his stuff down by her's. She watched him do this with a raise of her immaculately arched brow.

“Why?”

“Bonding time.” he replied. “Sam said I should get to know you better, so here we are.”

Josie called his name and Kijana took a long sip of her drink to think. This was weird. This was super weird and Steve couldn't know what she'd been planning to read because that would only make it all far weirder.

Steve sat across from her and she sighed heavily. “I can feel the excitement. Hold it in.” he told her.

She swirled the straw around on her tongue before taking a pensive sip. “You’re so… not what anyone expects of you.”

“Meaning?”

“I thought you’d be this super hard-ass leader with an unflappable moral center, and you are, but around people you actually like, Sam and Nat and the Maximoffs, you’re pretty chill. It’s not what I expected.”

He chuckled. “Well I can’t be a fuckin’ hard ass all the time, Kijana.”

She ran her fingers through her curly hair and there was an awkward moment of silence. She noticed him start to sketch the older man sitting across from them with colorful socks. “You’re a people-watcher.”

He shrugged. “I guess.”

“You sit in public places and watch people, that’s a people-watcher.”

“Is that weird?”

She shook her head. “I do it, too.” She started thumbing through the front matter of her novel. “It’s funny. I’ve been hurt so badly by people but I still want to protect them and connect with them. With the powers you start feeling removed from your sense of humanity.”

“Yeah, isn’t that always the way?”

She looked at him and went back to her book. “Your jaw feeling any better?”

“Yeah, but you really delivered that punch.” He told her. She started to laugh, which made him laugh. “I’m serious! If you punched any harder you might’ve knocked me out.”

“Steve, you are such a whiny bitch, what are you, like, six-foot-two? I’m five-foot-eight and I seriously almost knocked your ass unconscious? You know what? I don’t even want to fight you anymore, I might kill you.”

“Wait, wait, wait, _no_. You just caught me off-guard in training. That was an accident.”

“Sure.”

“I’m not agreeing to anything but, if it were a _real_ fight, we’d have an equal chance.”

“Pretty sure the under-wire in my bra could kick your ass.”

The teenage girls sitting next to them overheard the conversation, grabbed their magazines and moved to the other side of the room. Kijana and Steve collapsed into laughter.

“Did we just scare three teenagers?” Steve asked.

Kijana nodded. “They just wanted to read about Zayn Malik and they stumbled across the two weirdest adults in New York.”

“ _We’re_ the weirdest? You should hear what Sam sings in the shower.”

“Oh God, I thought he was a classic soul man.”

Steve smiled. “He is but in the shower he is all Tina Turner.”

She gasped and covered her mouth. “Does he try to imitate her voice? Please tell me he doesn’t.”

“I wish I could.”

“Oh no, I’m gonna have to roast him for that later.”

“Please don’t, he’ll know I told you.”

She sucked her teeth. “Take responsibility, set a fucking example.”

Steve focused back on his sketch of the man with the eccentric socks. “Sam’s pararescue, that's not a person you wanna fuck with.”

“Level of intimidation and physical ability never stopped you from fuckin’ with me.”

Steve grinned. “You're different.”

“How?”

“You just… are.”

An older woman came over to them. She smiled and they awkwardly smiled back. “So sorry but you two remind me of my husband and I when we were younger, so cute together.”

Steve blushed. “Oh, no, ma'am, we're not...”

“Why not, then? She's gorgeous, you better hurry up before someone else snatches her up.”

The woman walked away and Kijana held back laughter. Steve was clearly uncomfortable.

Kijana tapped him on the shoulder. “Wanna go to Washington Square Park, pumpkin’?” she asked. She batted her eyelashes. “Won’t you come to the park with the greatest good you are ever gonna get?”

He nodded and they got ready to go to the park. “Never mention this to anyone.”

“I'm _gorgeous_ , Spangles.” she said. “You better hurry up or my suitors will take your place.”

“Please don't do this.”

They made their way to the park and they looked like the oddest pair. Steve was still reserved, but surprisingly relaxed in his posture as he walked alongside Kijana who was visibly tired but still wide-eyed and excitable. They talked about anything or anyone that caught their eye, not quite knowing where to begin or end with each other, but then Steve made the mistake of bringing up books as a topic of conversation.

“When I was younger, I used to read twice as much as I do now.” she told him. “Superhero-ing keeps me busier than I'd like.”

“You only read cheesy romances?” Steve asked her.

She scoffed. “Of course not, and my moms would've killed me if she found really sexy romance novels in my room. I love ‘Their Eyes Were Watching God’ more than any other book I've read. Which, I mean, it is a steamy romance but that’s not the heart of it, y’know?”

He stuffed his hands in his pockets and shook his head. “I don’t actually know.”

She sucked her teeth. “That’s right! You were a white guy before it was required reading. I’ll lend you my copy, Spangles.” She took another sip. “Basically, at it’s core, it is the story of a Black woman who finds her freedom socially, sexually, and personally. Janie becomes the woman I aspire to be, she’s carefree as fuck and she rocks it and she finds a guy who loves her more than anything else, even when he’s…” She closed her mouth.

Steve raised an eyebrow. “‘Even when he’, what?” She shook her head. “What does he do?”

“You’ll see when you read it. I’m no spoiler.”

He grinned. “The book’s been out for decades, I’m sure I can find the ending on the internet.”

Kijana shook her head. “It’ll probably take you forever. What’s your typing speed, boy? Like, ten words per minute?” He stopped walking and laughed, then she started to laugh before realizing that was happening far too often for her taste. “My stepdad types like that. Must be an army thing or a grandpa thing or something.”

“Yeah because being called grandpa never gets old.”

She smiled. “You mean like how you never get old?”

He rolled his eyes. “If I were old I couldn’t avenge things.”

“Spoken like a true superhero.”

He looked at her eyes and noticed their tiredness for the first time. His smile dropped a bit. “Are you sleepin’ okay, Harrison?” He asked, suddenly diving back into the role of the stern team leader.

She turned away and cleared her throat. “Sleeping about as much as I always do. Nothing abnormal or anything.”

“You gotta get rest, alright? I’ve seen what you can do out there and I can’t afford to not have you on our team.”

“The Marxist in me resents the fact that you’re a member of the ruling class…”

“Wow.”

“Who, by the way, is only encouraging my rest as a means of obtaining more efficient labor, but the sleepy bitch in me knows you’re probably right.” She sighed and quickly thought up a white lie, which was honestly a half-truth. “My cat’s being running around really late at night. Fat thing sounds like a whole horse.” That part was true, Sunshine was fat and sounded like a pony, but she wasn't keeping Kijana up.

Steve nodded. He knew she was lying, of course. It wasn’t hard to tell, but he saw something else. If there was anything Steve knew more than anyone else, it was pain and fear, and Kijana was overflowing with the stuff. “Hopefully she calms down.”

“Hopefully.”

The whole truth was that Kijana’s nightmare had returned that night. This time it was a dark room and the buzz of a crude tattoo needle about to hit her shoulder blade, she couldn’t move. The Stranger told her to stay perfectly still and hold her own tongue to keep from screaming.

Another bad memory.

She wasn’t sure where these nightmares were coming from. The Stranger from the alley was dead and gone, there was no need for her to worry, but these horrible images… Every experience she had since that night outside the club was rushing back to her the second her head hit the pillow that week.

She let a breeze blow her hair across her face, creating a temporary barrier between her face and Steve. She'd tell him later, she knew she would. But how would she explain it? How could he believe it?

Steve started grinning at her, which freaked her out a little bit. “What?”

“Oh, nothing, it’s just that you’re not the _worst_ person to hang out with on a Saturday morning.”

“I’ve been trying to tell you that all along. But it’s amazing that you say that to me today because I’m very hungover, and I’ve been wondering if you noticed.”

“I haven’t noticed.”

“I feel like I spend most Saturday mornings hungover, though.”

Steve shrugged. “I can’t relate.”

“I pity you, man.”

"I'd love to see you get drunk some time."

"Oh yeah, it's dinner and a show."

They spent the rest of the morning together in the park, not even noticing the hours pass by, or the pair of weathered eyes watching them stroll...


	6. IOU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small time jump. Nothing to worry about.  
> Well, not yet.  
> Sorry if this seems kind of scatterbrained, I am a) very sick and b) trying to address multiple storylines at once. It'll make more sense soon :)

According to Kijana’s calendar, she’d been an  Avenger for a total of a month and a half. Over the course of that month and a half, she’d managed to become pretty close friends with her teammates, subdue six muggers, and get drunk three times. But she was mostly obsessed with one particular thing...

_She finally got herself a supersuit_.

It was all black and curve-hugging with dark purple details. She had black fingerless gloves to help her grip onto things better and sturdy knee high boots with compartments inside for concealed weapons.

They offered her a mask but she wanted to keep wearing her own makeup. And it certainly made her look intimidating combined with the new suit.

“It’s perfect!” she said. Some of the other Avengers looked on. She turned to them and smiled. “Isn’t it?”

“I think you look beautiful.” Sam replied.

She flipped her hair. “Thanks, darling.”

Wanda nodded in agreement. “How many weapons can you fit in there?”

Kijana giggled. “Hopefully many.” She turned around and checked out her backside. “I just remembered there’s a pub near here that’s doing one of those quiz things tomorrow night, you guys wanna come? Beer and trivia.”

“I’m down.” Sam said.

Pietro shrugged. “I’ll go.”

Kijana smiled at Wanda. “We need four team members!” She sang. “Come on, boo!”

Wanda sighed. “I'll come, but I won't be on your team.” Kijana pouted. “You know I hate bars.”

“Yeah, but you love me.”

Wanda giggled. “No amount of love will change my answer, sestra.”

_Sestra._ Kijana grew up around boys. Lots of boys. First it was her, Dorian, their dad and their mom. Then her dad died and it was just her, her mom, and Dorian. Then their mom remarried. Leon came. Tyler came. Brandon came. Kijana prayed for a sister and a sister never arrived. She tried making girl friends in school but they thought she was so weird with the way she dressed and how close she was to her rowdy brothers.

Then Wanda comes along, and they both became “witches” through experiments, and they both lost parents to violence and they both had brothers. It was love at first sight.

Kijana kept admiring herself in the mirror. “It'll be fine just having you there.”

Wanda smiled. “Then I will be there.”

Steve walked into the room and eyed Kijana for a moment. “That’s your new suit?”

Kijana nodded. “Yeah, got it today.”

He grinned. “Looks good.”

She smiled. “I know.”

Their relationship at this point was kind of funny. They definitely still fought sometimes. Kijana wasn’t a huge fan of being told what to do, and Steve wasn’t a huge fan of people not doing what he asked of them when he thought it was important. At the same time, they were really growing on each other. They’d managed to develop inside jokes and learn about each other’s interests. They’d hang out at the bookstore every Saturday now, and tease like they didn’t want to choke each other when they first met.

It was _nice_.

“I mean, it’s definitely better than your first costume was, Spangles.” Kijana told him. “I found a bunch of old trading cards last weekend. I’m not usually into American propaganda, but you were such a _cute_ Boy Scout.”

“Leave Steve's shorts alone.” Sam said.

“No, he's getting roasted. Speaking of roast, his ass looked like hamburger buns, I'm sure that was a big hit on the USO tours.”

Steve let out a small laugh. “Very funny. Hey, at least I had a costume and wasn’t just fighting random guys in jeans and black hoodies.”

She scoffed. “Oh you got jokes now?” she asked. “Damn, I’ll have to step my game up.”

“You’ve always had to step your game up!”

“Don’t let it go to your big head!” she remembered something and grabbed her cell phone. “Remember last week when you showed me your little catch up list?”

“I do.” Steve replied. He remembered her crossing out “The Beatles” with enough pressure that it almost ripped the page. She really hated The Beatles.

“I finally got my contributions together.” she told him. “You ready?”

He pulled out his notebook. “I don't know…”

“Nina Simone, Coming to America, Life is Beautiful, and firecracker popsicles. Coming to America and Life is Beautiful are movies, by the way.”

“Very deep, Miss. Harrison.” Rhodey said. “You like Nina?”

She nodded. “I LOVE Nina. I adore her voice and everything she stood for. I just wished she'd come up as a star today. The climate around mental illness is so different.”

“Beautiful and smart.” Pietro said. “Anything you can not do?”

She shrugged. “Trigonometry, honestly.”

“Follow directions.” Steve said under his breath.

“Follow this direction.” She held up her middle finger.

Vision came into the room in a rush. “Hydra has taken a building full of S.H.I.E.L.D agents hostage.”

“Where?” Steve asked.

“An old textiles warehouse outside of Brooklyn. I’ve already told Natasha.” There were a bunch of small pockets of S.H.I.E.L.D trying to rebuild after the Hydra incident. They hid in plain sight to avoid being targeted, that didn't mean it never happened.

“Okay, sounds like stealth. Maximoffs, Sam, Kijana, we'll need you. Vision and Rhodes would draw too much attention.” Steve said.

“Wait, me?” Kijana asked. “You're bringing me?”

Steve smirked. “Sam's bringing you, and I'm bringing Sam.”

They suited up and raced to their vehicles. Steve turned to Kijana before they left for the scene. She seemed nervous, but so excited. “Ready for your first real mission?”

She smiled. “Beating up the poor underpaid agents for a month wasn’t real?”

“You liked it and I want you to think about what that says about you.”

“Listen, if I'm an asshole, you’re an asshole. You still owe me twenty bucks from that bet about Pietro ripping his jeans, and I wasn’t the one who made that bet.”

* * *

They got to the scene, Kijana grabbed Sam's hand and they flew up to the roof. They hid behind the roof’s door when they noticed a Hydra sniper posted at the edge. The two Avengers, who affectionately dubbed themselves “The Dream Team”, made a plan to clear the building from the top down.

“It's less of a risk that way.” Kijana whispered. “And safer for the others because we can knock out the long range guns.”

“Good thinkin’.” he said.

“What's the rifle made of?” Kijana asked. “If it's a metal, I could probably break it apart from the inside.”

“How?”

“I can manipulate earth, metal comes from the earth.”

Sam tried not to focus on how cool that was. “Probably steel, cast iron, aluminum, the usual…”

Kijana smirked. “Sweet… Let's make him piss himself...”

She waved her hand and the gun jammed. The sniper looked at the barrel in confusion. She broke off the barrel and then sent it flying into the sniper's face at top speed to distract him before running over and delivering a flying kick to the face a la Sam.

“Forgot to tell you how hot you look today, Sam.” Kijana said, putting her foot on the sniper’s chest. “That line up is fire.”

He grinned. “Thanks, sweetheart.”

“I was thinking about getting a side shaved off.”

“I know a good barber I can refer you to.”

She scrunched up her face. "Yeah but I have to make sure I really want to do it and I'm not just being impulsive." The sniper tried grabbing her leg and pulling her down, so she kicked him in the face again. “But thanks for the referral. I know you don’t end up looking like such a babe without a good barber.”

“Aja, Falcon, you alright up there?” Steve said over the communicators.

“Better now that you've remembered to call me Aja.” she said. She handcuffed the man to a pipe running along the roof. “If you need help, don't be afraid to ask.”

“I should say the same to you.”

“I'm not asking you for help, Spangles.”

He chuckled. “That's fine, I'll come anyway.”

Kijana undid the lock on the roof quietly and they snuck down the stairwell onto the third level. Kijana could hear Pietro running but couldn't see him. They followed the sound and came to a wide corridor that was covered in probably dead Hydra agents, and Wanda opening doors go search for more.

“You two alright?” Sam asked.

Pietro nodded and caught his breath. “You alright?”

They nodded. “What are you lookin' for, Wands?” Kijana asked.

“Control station.” Wanda replied. “They had their technology on this floor. There has to be a Hydra agent interfering with security.”

“Where's Cap?” Pietro asked.

Wanda stood still, trying to listen for electronic whirring noises, beeping, or speaking. “I saw him sneak into the basement, Romanoff went in through the front…” She went to the door at the end of the hall and pressed her ear to it. After a second of silence, her eyes widened. “Get down!”

Shots started flying through the door and they all ducked. Kijana made her way to the door, keeping her head down and covered. The others watched in fear, Wanda preparing a spell to protect her. Kijana unlocked the door and slammed it into the gun, sending the shooter flying back. Someone screamed.

“They have hostages! Get them out of harm's way.” she shouted. Pietro handled that while her and Sam fought off the four armed Hydra agents in the room.

Pietro returned. “The level is clear, we should go to the next.”

“Yes, you should!” Steve shouted over the communicator. “You really, really should!”

They raced downstairs to find a horde of Hydra agents trying to overwhelm Steve. He'd clearly been there for a while, and they were delivering blow after blow, not taking turns. Pietro cleared some of them away while Sam, Wanda, and Kijana fought their ways through.

Kijana was a quick fighter, quick and precise. She dealt punches and kicks with urgency and focus, moving even faster the closer she got to Steve. Most of the agents didn't even see her attacks coming, and they had even less time to counter, she didn't allow them any. “On your six, Spangles!” she shouted, twisting an agent in her legs.

“Thanks, I owe you.”

“You don't.”

Natasha got up to their floor and immediately started fighting the agents flooding towards her. “Shit, Rogers, how'd this happen?”

“Do I look like I know?”

“You never look like you know!” Pietro shouted.

Kijana giggled. “He's not wrong.”

She felt Steve's back hit her's suddenly, as if he'd been pushed. She turned and saw that he'd been stabbed in the stomach. Her jaw dropped.

“Aw fuck... Steve, wait, stop moving!” she shouted.

“I can't.”

She started fighting the attackers on his side. She couldn’t pull the knife out, not here. “You can and you will because you have to or you'll bleed out!”

“I'll be fine, they're almost down.”

“You're almost down!” Steve was starting to slow down and Kijana panicked. “If you stop, I can pull you away, Pietro can handle the immediate threats, and I can heal you. Listen to me, Steve!”

“I… Can't…”

She rolled her eyes. “Wrong fucking answer. Pietro!”

“I’ve got you, beautiful!”

Pietro cleared some of the guys around them and Kijana dragged Steve away from the fight into the room where the remaining S.H.I.E.L.D agents were being held. One of them screamed when they saw the blood.

“Yeah thanks, that doesn't fucking help.” she told them. She looked at the knife and groaned. “This is gonna hurt…”

She slowly pulled the knife out, trying her hardest not to tear any more flesh. He yelled at the top of his lungs and she winced, she didn't think this would affect her so much, but it was ridiculously hard to see Steve in pain. She threw the knife to the side and pulled his uniform open, exposing the wound. Then, she rubbed her hands together, making them emit a violet glow.

“This is gonna hurt, too, and I'm really sorry.” She put her hands on the wound and he shouted and writhed in pain underneath. “You have to stop fucking moving, Spangles. It'll go faster that way… Someone hold him down!” No one in that room budged. “Make yourselves useful! You're hostages, not zombies!”

They crawled over and pinned Steve down. He was in a lot of pain. His skin and tissue was regenerating and stitching itself back together and the blood had basically begun to disappear. It was hard to watch but Kijana refused to let him die in her arms.

He started to calm down. Kijana lifted her hand to see how much longer she needed to heal him. There was still a little blood so she put her hands back down. “Listen to me next time when I say leave the fucking fight, you piece of patriotic shit.” she whispered with a grin. “I don't wanna have to take the shield and embarrass you with how good I look holding it.”

“You get the shield over my dead body, Aja.”

Natasha rushed in and looked over Steve to see that he was fine. “The place is clear. We should get the agents out.”

Steve nodded and hissed from the pain. “Do it, good work everyone.”

Natasha pulled the S.H.I.E.L.D agents out and Kijana pulled her hands away from Steve's body. “Sorry, you don't have a cool scar.”

“Do I owe you now?”

She helped him up. “Now that you mention it, there's a pub quiz tomorrow night and I need a fourth team member.”

He looked down at his fully healed wound again in disbelief. “You want me on that team?”

She sucked her teeth. “Is there anyone else in here?”

Steve shrugged. “I'll come.” 

"Good." She smiled and smacked his butt, startling him. His face turned beet red. "Bring the booty shorts. It'll make me laugh."

* * *

 

On the walk home that night, Kijana felt uneasy. Her nightmares were becoming more violent and so much more vivid. Whenever she was somewhere without someone else, she felt paranoid and out of place. She was sleeping less and less. She held her keys tightly between her fingers and tried to convince herself that this was irrational. As far as she was concerned, that nightmare was over and long behind her, and she shouldn't have been thinking about it.

But, to the man who watched her pass him without a glance, alleyway after alleyway, a new nightmare was just beginning and she wouldn't be ready for what this one would bring. He would make sure of it.


	7. Cats in the Alley

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My obligatory bar chapter. Shit starts getting a little weird. I'm feeling a lot better so hopefully this chapter is better than the last as a result. Thanks for the support so far, y'all, this has been such a tricky and fun fic to write and I can't wait for y'all to see how it all comes together.

It wasn't a secret that Kijana was a drinker. She used to be an alcoholic, but she focused her propensity for addiction on fighting crime instead of alcohol and recreational drugs. It was better for everyone. Still, she could drink, and she did.

She loved pubs and pub quizzes. They were just fun places where she could spend a few hours being joyful and temporarily connecting with other drunk people. Fun was a hard thing for her to come by those days. Much like sleep.

Since she'd come up with the Avengers pub quiz idea, she was the team leader and she named their team ‘The Radioactive Supermodels’. They sat in a round corner booth in the back and the others nervously hoped no one would recognize them, but Kijana had zero worries. The quiz hadn't begun yet but she was already a fourth of the way through a tall glass of Guinness and she didn't intend to leave without finishing. She was a storyteller when she drank, not rambling, but just full of tales to tell.

“When I was fifteen I got into a competition with this girl I couldn't stand to see who could show the most skin in school without getting sent home.” She told Wanda. “So my skirts got shorter and my necklines got deeper and I probably had the greatest selection of mid-00s tube tops and spaghetti straps in the entire state of New York. I won, but only after she got expelled!”

“For what?” Pietro asked.

She shrugged. “It honestly could’ve been anything. It was that kind of school. My birth dad went there so my mom thought it would discipline us the same way. It ain't do a damn thing.”

“I went to one of the roughest schools in DC and I'm not totally convinced my mom didn't think the same thing.” Sam told her.

She giggled. “It wasn't a rough school, it was just… strict. And I know Steve knows how much I hate directions so you could only imagine how beloved I was by the entire staff in school.”

Steve laughed. “I'm sure they liked you in their own way.”

Kijana rolled her eyes. “You only say that because I saved your life, like a week or two ago you would've been like 'Yeah, I can see you being in detention every other day'.”

“I would've been fine without you.”

“Yeah a knife to the gut is a _real_ easy predicament to survive.” Sam said. “Kijana saved your life, man.”

“The screaming was unbearable.” Pietro said with a slight chuckle.

Steve scoffed. “You think that was unbearable? I was having a fuckin’ knife pulled outta me!”

“Big deal, it happens, move on.” Kijana said. “I'm surprised that your inner monologue during that ordeal wasn't ‘Fuck, her hands glow too? What is with the glowing hands?’.”

Steve threw his head back in laughter, and Kijana hid her own grin with a sip of beer. “Why would I be thinking that?”

“Most normal people would be.”

“You were pulling a knife outta my chest, I had other preoccupations at that moment.”

“First if all, _bitch_ , it wasn't your chest. It was that weird spot between your stomach and pancreas. Second of all, I'm sensing a real lack of appreciation.”

“I'm appreciative, Harrison, I swear I am.”

“You should donate to my bookcase fund then.”

“Or you could stop buying books you won't read.”

She gasped. “I’ll read them!”

“ _Dragi bože_ , get a room, you two...” Pietro said.

The others laughed. Steve and Kijana cleared their throats and nervously laughed with them. They didn't even notice that they were only talking to each other, it just kind of happened, and it'd been happening a lot lately.  Kijana took a sip of her beer and checked the time on her phone.

“Quiz starts in two minutes.” she said.

“So when did you two stop wanting to murder each other?” Sam asked them.

“Who said we stopped?” Kijana asked. “I still, 100% wanna beat that ass.”

Steve laughed loudly. “You can't even reach the top of my head, how the hell are you beating my ass?”

She rolled her eyes. “Just watch your back and protect your shins, boy.” She yawned so wide that tears streamed from her eyes. “I’m quick and deadly.”

“And incredibly sleepy.” Wanda said. “Still having nightmares?”

Kijana shrugged. “I mean, at this point, it could just be sleep deprivation. I don’t remember the nightmares.” That was a lie. “I was probably just eating something weird to get them.” That was also a lie, and Wanda knew it.

Her eyes softened and Kijana looked away from her. “Alright, just… Be careful, _sestra_. I don’t wanna see you completely deprived of your sleep.”

Steve nodded. “Y’know, I said the same thing to her.”

Kijana threw her napkin at him. “Shut up, Steve.”

The bartender stepped up to a microphone and tapped it three times to get everyone’s attention. He announced that the pub quiz was starting and explained all the rules. Kijana looked out the window and into the alley across the street. She swore she saw someone there, a dark figure, not too tall, wearing a long, dark coat. Her eyes widened and she looked a little closer at the figure. It waved at her, then seemed to disappear in a cloud of dust.

Her eyes lingered on the alley a while longer, trying to decide how real that was. She nearly reached out towards the window as if she could touch the shadow that was no longer there.

“Kijana!”

She snapped out of it, eyes widening and darting between her concerned friends and the alley. “Yeah?”

“He’s about to say the first question.” Sam said, eyebrows knit together in concern.

She cleared her throat and smiled. “Oh cool, I was… Watching a, um, rat. Those fuckers are huge in this neighborhood. Have I ever told you about that time when I was twelve and my brother Dorian caught a huge rat and put it in my bed.”

"Did you hurt him?" Pietro asked. "Because you should have."

"I'll tell you later, sweet thing."

"Alright, beautiful."

They turned to the bartender and Kijana took a deep breath. It had to have been in her head. There had to be an explanation. It wasn’t _him_ , he was dead, and she was not out of her mind. That was the one thing he couldn’t steal from her.

“The theme of the night’s quiz is movies!” announced the bartender.

Kijana put her hand on Steve’s shoulder. “You can sit this one out, gramps.”

“ _Funny_ , but I have been catching up.”

She snorted. “Not fast enough.”

The bartender took a deep, dramatic breath and Steve picked up the pen. “First question, which singer was featured in Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, and which relatives of famous singers were featured in the 2015 reboot, Mad Max: Fury Road?”

Kijana squealed and took the notepad from Steve’s hands. “Tina Turner, Zoe Kravitz, Riley Keough!” she said. “The Mad Max franchise is a small passion of mine, you will not judge me.”

“Second question, in which 1979 film was there a spaceship called ‘Nostromo’?”

“Alien!” Steve and Kijana shouted at once.

Kijana raised an eyebrow. “You’ve seen Alien?”

He took the notepad back. “Told you I was catching up.”

“I learn something about your dumb ass everyday, Spangles.”

He smirked. “Yeah, well, I’m having a lot of fun surprising you.”

The corners of her mouth curled into a grin and she tucked some hair behind her ear. She took a long sip, and peered at Steve over the edge of her glass, wondering why that tickled her so much.  

* * *

“Okay so I knew we’d win, I didn’t know that a round of wings was in our future, and I really didn’t expect me to eat forty percent of them.” Kijana groaned. “I love food so much, y’all.”

Sam chuckled at her fluttering eyes. “You got the Itis?”

“Majorly.”

“What is the Itis?” Pietro asked.

Sam and Kijana looked at each other and non-verbally debated explaining to their friends what the Itis was. Sam shook his head decisively. “It’s a Black thing.”

“You say that about a lot.” Steve said.

“Because we’re Black, Steven.” she told him. “We’re Black and we do Black shit, and I am so full right now. This was a mistake.”

“How are you getting home?” Wanda asked.

She shrugged. “I’m probably gonna get a cab or... something.”

“I will go with you.” she said. Kijana looked mildly offended by the gesture. “You are tipsy and I would be bad friend to let you go home alone.”

“Aww, I love you.”

They stood up and got ready to leave. Kijana slipped on her jacket and looked outside one last time. She didn’t see anything. There was nothing in the alley besides a gang of cats crowded around someone’s thrown-away ice cream.

Steve was the first to notice her preoccupation with the alley, and he was the first time, too. At first he was wondering what is was that was making his eyes linger on her for so long, but then he noticed the fear in her eyes. It was the first time he’d seen real fear on her face. She looked petrified, unraveling.

He didn’t want to draw the attention of the others, so he waited until most of them were out of earshot before calling her mind back into the pub.

“Kijana?” he said softly.

She snapped out of it. “Somethin’ you need, Spangles?”

“Yeah," he angled his body towards her and leaned in a little closer. "I need to know that you’re okay.”

She crossed her arms. “I’m fine, what are you talking about?”

“What’s in the alley?”

She pointed. “Cats, see?”

He looked and nodded. “Were they there earlier?”

“Yeah…” she said, her eyes drifting back one last time. “I love cats, Rogers, sue me.”

He faked a grin. “Yeah, whatever, just call me or something when you get home, alright?”

She nodded. “I will. I’m fine, Spangles.”

“Sure you are.”

Steve followed Sam, Kijana went out with Wanda and Pietro, gripping her phone tight just in case she had to make a call to Steve that wasn’t to tell him she’d made it home alright.


	8. M.A.S.H

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so lots of things happen in this chapter and it's a bit more transitional than the others and i really hope you guys like it and like where i'm steering the story, thanks so much for reading, i can't thank you enough. the next chapter will be up sooner than this one was, i promise.

“You really wore me out today, man.” Sam said with a groan as he and Steve walked into the apartment they shared.

It was past midnight and they’d just spent three hours in the boxing gym, focusing on the speed of their punches. Still, Sam must have temporarily forgotten that he wasn’t a super soldier.

“Sorry, Sam, you asked me not to go easy on you.”

He rolled his eyes. “You could’ve done it anyway, don’t listen to me.” Steve’s cell phone buzzed with a text. He looked down at the message and grinned. Sam raised an eyebrow. “So, how’s Kijana?”

“Her cat threw up on her uniform and she’s been scrubbing for an hour and it’s just now getting off.” he replied. “Shit’s rough.”

Sam nodded. “Uh huh, it is…”

Steve slung his bag on the floor and quickly replied to her text, ‘i wish your cat qualified for the avengers’.

“She seems really different lately, especially since last week at the pub.” Sam said. “You two have also been inseparable, so that can’t be a coincidence.”

Steve shrugged. “We’re not _inseparable_ , I’m just keeping an eye on her. I worry, y’know?” he sighed. “I feel like there’s something she’s hiding, and I don’t think it’s hurting anyone but herself. The past few days she’s just been spending more and more time at the facility, later and-”

His phone buzzed again with a text, ‘spangles, im a bitch but shes a diva, be careful wht u wish for’.

“Anyway, I really like her, Sam. More than I thought I would. She’s goofy and annoying but she’s so, I don’t know, _profound_ sometimes. I keep getting surprised, I’ve missed feeling that way around someone.”

Sam grinned and Steve raised an eyebrow. “Huh…”

He shook his head. “No, no, no, it’s not like that.”

“Sounds like it’s like that, Steve, you are smitten.”

“I most certainly am not, and I thought people didn't say 'smitten' anymore.”

“C'mon, man! You are, you’re blushing right now.”

He turned away and tried forcing his face to cooperate with him. “I am not,” he insisted. “Why am I even up right now, it’s fucking midnight! Goodnight Sam.” He stormed off to his room and Sam laughed.

“Goodnight, Mr. Kijana Harrison.”

“NO!”

* * *

 

Steve wasn’t smitten… _Right?_   He couldn’t be.

Sure, he’d found himself on a few occasions over the past few days noticing things about Kijana. How she scrunched up her nose when she laughed. She told her dirtiest jokes when she was nervous. Her eyelashes were so long and full, her smile so bright. She was intensely passionate about politics and clearly managed to educate herself well. She had a billion stories but seemingly few regrets, and left him wondering what he had to do to get like her.

What was she doing to him? He felt like a teenager again, wishing he could tell Bucky all about this new beautiful girl and all the beautiful things she did...But he wasn’t smitten, he couldn’t have been.

While he was thinking about this, he drifted into sleep…

* * *

 

_“Tell me something, Spangles, you ever thought about what your life would be like without powers?”_

_Steve shrugged. It was the conversation they’d shared earlier that day. Kijana was particularly jittery and he’d taken her aside to talk and calm her down. She didn’t actually tell him what was wrong, of course, but the conversation was nice._

_“I don’t think I would’ve lived very long.”_

_Kijana laughed dryly and nodded in agreement. “You and me both.” She sighed and pulled out a piece of paper. “Wanna play M.A.S.H?”_

_He looked up. The rest of the team were looking at them, they were acting like they weren’t, but they were. He didn’t care.  “Explain it to me.”_

_She bit her lip and pulled out a pen. “We’re gonna figure out what the fuck your ass woulda been without the muscles.” she said. “It’ll be fun, like looking into an alternate universe.”_

_Steve chuckled. “You still haven’t explained the game.”_

_“I’m gettin’ there, shut up.”_

_She wrote M.A.S.H on the paper, then wrote ‘Job’, ‘Spouse’, ‘Car’, ‘Place’, and ‘No. of Kids’. “M.A.S.H stands for ‘Mansion. Apartment. Shack. House’. You give me four things for each category, I draw a little swirly thing on the paper, that determines where I knock shit off, and then you have a look into your alternate present.” He was clearly still confused. She rolled her eyes. “I’ll do me first.”_

_Kijana wrote four things for each category and showed Steve the paper. He raised an eyebrow. “You wrote my name down?”_

_She tucked hair behind her ear. “Alternate me might’ve lost her mind, Spangles, I don’t fuckin’ know...”_

_She drew a swirl at the top and then went around the board, stopping every four places. She angled it away from Steve as she started getting the final results. When she was done, she snickered._

_“So, according to the game, alternate reality me lives in an apartment in Wakanda as romance writer who rides a unicorn and has a kid with, oh shit…” she giggled. “Well I hope alternate Keej and Spangles and their anxious biracial baby are happy together in Wakanda.”_

_“Seriously?”_

_She held it up for him to see. His name was definitely circled. “Yeah, the paper doesn’t lie.”_

_“Wow… Weird.”_

_She sucked her teeth. “It’s not that weird.” she said. “You forget who my ex is.”_

_“I thought you said I couldn’t call that relationship weird.”_

_“You can’t, but I was in it so I can.”_

_They laughed. She ripped out the paper and threw it in her bag. “Now, let’s do you. I mean, alternate me has already done you, but we’re doing you anyway.”_

_She filled in some of the spaces on the board with outlandish answers and handed it back to him to fill out the rest. When he was done, she took it back and made a swirling pattern on the top. “Tell me when to stop.”_

_After a few seconds, he said stop and she counted the lines. She was focusing really hard on this, he thought it was very cute._

_She went through the game and after about a minute she had results that made her rather giddy. “So, apparently. Alternate you is living in Brooklyn with Peggy, you have one kid and you ride a bike everywhere but, luckily for me, you are also a circus clown.”_

_He smiled. “That’s not a terrible reality.”_

_She shrugged. “Neither of them are, according to exactly one source I am a fucking awesome wife.”_

_Kijana grinned up at him, he looked back at her. Slowly her expression began to change. Her eyes became soft like she'd had an epiphany._ _She slowly leaned in and his heart raced. The others were no longer there, they were alone. She was actually going to kiss him. He should’ve been bothered by having dreams about her kissing him. He should’ve tried to wake himself up, but he just couldn’t bring himself to do it._

_Suddenly they heard a phone ring, it sounded distant, but it was Steve’s._

_“You should get that.” she whispered._

Steve woke up with a groan and forced himself to sit up. He reached for his cell phone in the dark and rubbed his eyes. Kijana was calling.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Steve, can you meet me at the facility, like, right now?” she asked, she sounded panicked. “Not Sam, not anyone else, just you. I need to see you. Please?”

“Something wrong?”

He could hear her shoving thing into her bag and grabbing a jacket. Her cat was meowing in the background. “I’ll explain when you get there, please meet me! I can’t be alone tonight.”

“Sure, sure, no problem at all, I’ll see you there. Stay calm, okay?” She hung up and, with that, he packed a few clothes for himself and headed to the facility.

* * *

 

The air was so cold, but at least she could feel temperature again. Steve wasn’t the only one whose mind was playing serious games that night, except Steve’s dream wasn’t nearly as violent, painful, or real.

Kijana held onto her neck, she could still feel the cool blade of her knife cutting through her skin. She’d brought it along, of course. She worried that Steve wouldn't believe her. But she also couldn’t look at it while her blood was still there.

Steve finally arrived, he’d brought a bag with his uniform in it, just as she had. She actually packed her uniform, a change of clothes, pajamas, and a toothbrush. She called Dorian after she got there and asked him to pet-sit Sunshine while she was gone. She had no plans to go back to her apartment, not tonight.

Steve set down his bag and they looked at each other for a moment, his first question was a simple one, “Are you okay?”

She wanted to make a joke but she couldn’t, she just broke down in tears. Steve furrowed his brows. He’d never seen her cry before, so this really had to be bad.

He walked up to her slowly, not knowing how to respond with her. She didn’t like to be touched, he knew that. She probably didn’t want a hug. He handed her a tissue from his bag and she wiped her eyes before burying her face in his chest. He took that as permission to wrap his arms around her, and he had no idea how much she needed it.

She looked up at him after a bit, then looked away again. “Steve, there’s a lot you don’t know about my powers, and my life...” she said. “Bad shit that I was afraid to tell you about in the beginning.”

“Did you hurt anyone?” he asked her.

She shook her head. “As always, I only hurt myself.” She handed him the knife, soaked in dried blood.

His eyes softened. “Kijana, what did you do? What’s been going on with you?”

She took a deep breath, filling her lungs to the brink with air. She picked on the skin of her fingers again, stopping before she bled. “I was eighteen or seventeen. I can’t remember which…” she said. She was speaking so quickly, letting the words just roll from her brain to her tongue without a filter. “Probably seventeen, I should’ve been in school with Dorian but I wasn’t. I was really into clubbing and drinking and drugs because I was young and stupid and depressed. One night I got hurt by a group of boys outside of a club in Brooklyn..." The tears started coming again. "Fuck..."

Steve took her hand, and she squeezed his. It was a small gesture, but it meant so much.

“I-I woke up in a dark alley. An old man came up to me and offered to make me powerful, and I went with him because I was young and stupid. He cleaned me up and then dipped me in this weird brown water that he said should’ve burned off my skin, and it hurt so much that I thought it had, but all it did was give me the ability to heal myself. After that, he spent months torturing me...”

Kijana paused for a second as memories came rushing forth all at once. She very rarely ever talked about this, and she couldn’t believe she was telling Steve. But she looked up at him and saw that he was actually listening, and that was more than enough incentive for her to keep talking.

“There were a lot of rituals, at least that’s what he called them… Not voodoo, voodoo ain't sinister. This shit was sinister, like a walk through hell. He trapped me in coffins and buried me alive. He locked me in a meat locker until my body was numb. He cut me and beat me and tattooed me and… did other things to me... whispering spells and curses, making me glow bright purple… Somehow all of this gave me my powers.”

“You never wanted them?”

She shook her head. “I mean, I grew to love them when I realized I was stuck with them, but I can never forget how I got them. Anyway, he threatened to kill my family so I stayed for years. He wanted me to kill for him, and I tried because he told me to, but I couldn't go through with it. I couldn't kill…”

“Because you're good, Kijana.” he told her. “You are absolutely good.”

She shook her head. Her sobs got caught in her throat so she gasped for air. “I still went! I still went and I know I could’ve done it but something stopped me, I’m not good! When I thought he died, I ran away and started saving people, hoping to pay for my sins somehow, then you found me, and here we are...”

“He’s alive?”

She nodded. “He’s been coming to me in my nightmares every night since I joined the team, and they’ve gotten really bad over the past few days which is why I’ve attached myself to you and Sam and the Maximoffs, because I was terrified of being alone. But tonight he was physically in my bedroom." She ran her fingers through her hair. "You remember the Kilgrave cases? Those people who were possessed by that weird white guy just by the power of suggestion?"

Steve thought about it. "I think I remember."

"His powers are similar, but most Kilgrave victims didn't really know what they were doing when they did it, and I knew damn well everything that I'd done. He made me cut my throat, but told me not to kill myself because he 'wasn't done with me yet'...” she told him. "He knew I'd heal myself anyway..."

"What do you think he'll make you do?" Steve asked.

She wiped her face. "Oh, I fucking _know_ what he'll make me do. Kill you, kill my brothers, kill the team, kill Wade. The first thing he always does is try to eliminate the immediate family and friends, he was mad as all hell when he found out I didn't do it the first time around. He resorted to making me cut myself off from them instead because I couldn't go through with it."

He looked at the knife again and back to her. “Kijana…”

She put her hand on his chest before he could say anything else. “Don’t say anything, don’t call me crazy, you don’t have to. I know what this sounds and looks like.”

“I wasn’t going to. I know he’s real, Kijana, I believe you. Hell, I'll believe anything, and I think you know that.” he assured her. She gave him a weak grin. “Do you need somewhere to stay? You could stay with me and Sam.”

She shook her head. “I wanna stay here, I don’t want to put you or Sam or anyone else at risk and I really just feel safer here lately.”

Steve nodded. “Well, you are safe here. I’m not letting anyone hurt you.”

“You don’t have to protect me.” Kijana told him. “...But stay with me?”

“I’ll stay as long as you need me to,” he told her. 

She chuckled and sniffled then tossed the tissue at him. “I’m so mad this whole Captain America thing isn’t an act, it makes me look like a giant fucking dick for wanting to fight you all the time.”

“What’s that s'posed to mean?”

She puffed up her chest and made her face look serious. “America isn’t something you do,” she said in her deepest voice. “It’s something you _are_. Justice. Strength. Teamwork. I’m from Brooklyn. I’ve punched out Hitler over 300 times.”

He tried being offended, but the whole impression was intriguing. “200 times, and I don’t talk like that.”

“Well, I can’t imitate the way you sound when you’re a whiny little bitch so…”

He gasped. “Oh, _I’m_ whiny?”

“Yeah, you’re a whiny little bitch, did I stutter?”

“You try sleepin’ for seventy years.”

“I would love to, personally.” she said. “Apparently it prevents aging.”

He rolled his eyes. “I didn’t choose to be in that ice.”

“Yeah, well, you have no clue what I would give to be taking an ice nap right now..."

"You'll be fine. You're stronger than even you think you are."

She stared straight ahead, The Stranger's face flashing every time she blinked, his voice echoing in her ears. She was so tired and afraid. She couldn't even pretend to be her confident self in that moment. "I hope you're right."

They walked to their rooms, Kijana tossed her stuff inside of hers. She wasn't ready to settle in anywhere for the night, so she decided to wander around a bit. She thought it was neat that all the Avengers had their own little dorm-room like spaces within the facility, but couldn’t help but notice that Tony’s was slightly bigger than all the rest, that was clearly intentional. If she ever met the guy in real life, she'd punch him for being such a douche. 

She walked over to Steve’s and leaned on the door frame. Steve put away his uniform and turned to her. “Something you need?”

“Food, Rogers. I need food. So do you.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Yeah, you are. See, this is the whiny little bitch thing I was referring to earlier.” He took a deep breath and they walked out together. She reached out and grabbed his shoulders. “You need to relax, Spangles. You’re tense as an amateur porn star doing anal for the first time.”

“What?”

He tried to forget that comment and she started rubbing his shoulders. Her hands were surprisingly gentle. He knew she was only trying to distract herself from all the stress of the night, but who was he to stop that?

“I have a tense job.”

She scoffed. They made it to the kitchen and she dug through the freezer. “FUCK YEAH! It’s still here!” She pulled out a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Cake Batter ice cream and grabbed a spoon. “I agree about the stress thing, but you still need to fucking chill out. Pietro, Wanda, and I usually do yoga before training. I’m sure they won’t mind if you joined us. I’d sure as hell mind, but I’d also be outnumbered… Not that it means anything, I’m vastly more powerful than you.”

“Maybe so…”

She giggled. “So you agree?” He shook his head. Kijana sat on the ground with her ice cream and patted the space in front of her open legs. “Sit, Spangles. I’m giving you a massage.”

“Really?”

She stuffed a spoonful into her mouth and moaned, there's nothing quite like treating yourself to ice cream after a stressful day. “This doesn’t make us best friends, just sit.”

“Sure.” He sat between her legs and she rubbed his back. As he became more comfortable, his posture started slacking.

“Alternate universe me probably has dreadlocks.” she said with a giggle. "I'd be really cute with dreadlocks."

Steve laughed. “Really? You’ve thought about this?”

“I think about alternate universes like everyday!” she replied. “I wonder how popular my novels are. I’m thinking book to movie adaptations starring Idris Elba…"

"Wow."

"Anyways, I’m wondering how Clown Steven is making any cash since circuses are barely a thing anymore.”

“I think I’d be okay, I’ll have more job security.”

“Yeah, and apparently enough moolah to afford a fucking two-bedroom Brooklyn apartment, I mean, fuck. Are you serious?! I can’t even walk through Brooklyn with my brothers without getting stopped by police but alternate universe Clown Steve is living it up… _White people_ …”

“I mean, you still have a unicorn.”

She smiled. “Yeah, I still have a unicorn.”

Kijana tried to think of more things that would get her mind off the night. She wanted to lose her head for a moment. She wanted to do something she hadn’t done in a while. All she could think about was loud music and dancing and drinks… Mostly drinks.

She stopped rubbing Steve’s shoulders and smiled at him. “You ever been to a concert?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO: follow my fic blog at captainafroelf.tumblr.com for live behind the scenes looks at how crazy i am as a person and a writer


	9. A Very Long Night (That Will Only Get Longer)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, i'm on summer break now, so i have more time to write. follow me at captainafroelf.tumblr.com for fanfiction things and faceclaims and details and art and shit. it's fun! like a fanfic writer sleepover.

It took a bit of arguing, and twenty hours of Steve saying “I'll think about it” before he finally agreed to go to Leon’s show with Kijana. Even after agreeing, she swore he’d have second thoughts and made him pinky promise. She also suggested a blood ritual, but he wouldn’t agree to that. Soon enough she had him all dressed (with Sam’s masculine assistance) and ready for the show, but he wasn’t sure how ready he was and he was still worried about her.

“Don’t sweat it if someone recognizes you,” she told him. “We had Jason Momoa in there once and I’m pretty sure I’m the only person who cared. I tried to get his number but he’s married so…”

Steve snorted. “Yeah, Kijana, I can imagine that being a small problem.”

She scrunched up her face. “Just a small one.”

“What’s the band’s name again?” he asked.

“The Overwhelmed Chain Gang.” she replied. “I’ve asked him to explain it five times and he’s just shrugged me off and said ‘That’s up to you’, which is incredibly unhelpful. I think it’s a racial history  thing. Whatever, you’ll like them. They’re like Prince meets Foo Fighters meets… Other band you don’t know because you’re old.”

“Yeah, sorry. I know Prince, though. Sam made sure that I did.”

She clapped. “Sam’s a good man.”

“Your brother will be happy to see you in the audience.”

She twirled on her heels. “Anyone would be happy to see me when I look like this.” 

Kijana had gone all out with her outfit, a sexy black cutout dress, violet suede boots, and her hair perfectly tousled. She looked like she was part of the band, not just the sister and sister-in-law of the frontman and frontwoman.

“It’s been awhile since I’ve gone to one of my little bro’s shows. When we were teenagers, I was in the band.”

Steve smiled from ear to ear. “Doing what?”

She giggled and took a deep breath. “ _ Singing back-up… _ ” she sang in a beautiful falsetto. 

He was completely taken off-guard by how pretty her voice was. He even stopped walking for a second. “So, when were you planning on tellin’ me about that?”

She scoffed. “Never, you’d tease me!”

“I absolutely wouldn’t. You sound really good.”

She blushed and linked her arms with his. “Yeah, you’re right.”

They made it to the place, and Leon’s band poster was plastered on the door next to the bouncer who could not have looked more excited to see Kijana if he tried. 

“KEEJ!”

“NASIR!” 

He pulled her into a tight hug and she almost fell over when he let her go. “Where the fuck you been?!”

“Here, there, everywhere.”

Nasir nodded and turned to Steve with a grin. “This your boyfriend?”

She laughed hysterically and shook her head, Steve tried his best not to look offended.. “But that’s the lie I’ll be telling to get gross guys away from me tonight.” She nudged Steve with her elbow, and paused. She couldn’t believe he was actually a little upset. “ _ Kidding _ .”

Nasir poked Steve in the chest. “Man, you are BEEF. 200 pounds of pure BEEF. What do you bench?”

“His emotions are heavy enough weights.” Kijana said. “C’mon, Nas, I want him to meet the band, when are they starting?”

“Ten minutes, you got time.”

Nasir let them in and Kijana took Steve's hand as they navigated through the crowd. She was getting recognized by longtime fans left and right, letting Steve blissfully go unnoticed. They made it to the backstage area, where The Overwhelmed Chain Gang was tuning their instruments. Leon looked up and saw Kijana, and he almost dropped his guitar. 

He ran over to her and spun her around. “My sister is here!” he exclaimed. He put her down and brushed her off. “You look amazing.” 

“Thank you.” She fixed a bit of eyeliner on his waterline. He tried pulling his face away and she held it still like the embarrassing big sister she was. “Everyone's hugging tonight.” 

“You're very huggable. Dorian is here, too.” Leon looked over to Steve. His wife, Daniela, was striking up a conversation with him. “Ain't that…”

“Yup.”

He gasped and pulled her over to the side. “Y'all fucked?”

Kijana rolled her eyes. “No, I told him I'd bring him. He needed to get out and so did I.”

Leon sucked his teeth. “You tryna hit, look at you! You're practically begging him to. You got on a good bra.”

“Such sexism. Why can't I look good for me?”

He laughed. “Why can't you f-”

Dorian came out of nowhere with a drink in his hand. “Captain America is here, what _the_ fuck?” he narrowed his eyes at his little sister and she rubbed her temples. “Did you fuck him?”

“No!” 

“Because I told you not to.”

“I didn't,  Dorian! I have  _ not _ slept with him.” Dorian let out a sigh of relief and Leon a sigh of disappointment. “But we’re not arguing much anymore either.”

Leon perked up instantly. “It’s fate. The enemies to friends to lovers trope. You’ll be doing something average like jogging or benchpressing cars, and his hand will brush across yours and you’ll look up at him, and it’ll be like ‘ _ Oh _ … That’s a thing…’. Doves will fly and carry you to third base where you will make sweet, sweet freaky-deaky love until the break of dawn.”

Dorian’s jaw dropped. “Oh my God, that is so beautiful…”

Leon smiled. “I know, right?”

Less than enthused was Kijana, scowling at her brothers and shaking her head. “I mean, I like the guy, but I don’t think it’ll ever go that far.”

Dorian sucked his teeth. “You’re tellin’ me you never even thought about it? Tell the truth.” 

“I thought you didn’t want us to sleep together!”

“Leon’s little soliloquy won me over. I’m convinced now.”

“Well, where’s your boyfriend, huh?” Kijana asked him. “Why aren’t you boning him right now instead of bothering me?”

Dorian laughed. “Q has to dogsit for our old neighbor while she goes to Cabo with her twenty-three year old husband and I’m catsitting for you.”

Kijana and Leon exchanged a confused look and the stage manager tapped Leon on the shoulder to signal that it was time for him to go on. “That sentence was far too odd for me to follow, but okay.” he said. “Give Dani a kiss then pull Cap into the crowd and get dancing, I wanna play at your wedding.”

“Shut up!”

Daniela ran over to her and gave her a quick hug and kiss before following the rest of the band onto the stage. Kijana pulled Steve away from the backstage chaos and towards the chaos of the excited crowd. 

“First thing I’m gonna do is drink, if that’s cool with you.” she told him.

Steve nodded. “Your sister in-law is really nice!”

She smiled back at him. “Yeah, we don’t deserve her and we still don’t know how Leon somehow convinced her to marry him.”

They went over to the bar and Kijana ordered a shot of tequila and watched the emcee rev up the crowd. Steve found himself looking at her again, and not being the least bit subtle about it. The band started to play and he turned to the stage only to find himself being pulled to the dancefloor.

“You have to come embarrass yourself with me!” Kijana shouted over the music, slamming an empty shot glass on the bar.

He blushed. “I can’t really-”

“I know, Steve. Trust me, I know. But  _ I _ can and I will, with you, right now.”

He finally gave in and followed her, watching her twist her hips. She pulled him closer, interlocking their fingers so that she could at least get him on rhythm. She had no clue how much worse it was making it for him. He couldn’t stop looking at their hands. Sam’s comment about him being smitten continued to play on a loop in the back of his mind. 

Maybe Sam was right. Maybe he needed to face the music (no pun intended). Maybe he was catching feelings for Kijana. It was possible! She was probably the craziest woman he’d met, but she was also the most genuine, the most endearing. To top it off, she was beautiful, especially now, looking so happy, dancing like that…

“ _Oh no…_ ” he whispered, too soft for her to hear under the loud music. 

Before he knew it, the song was over, their hands were apart as Kijana cheered her brother on. He stuffed his in his pockets. “Mind if I go sit down?”

She pouted. “Fine, but don’t do anything weird.”

“I’m not takin’ my eyes off you.”

“Yeah, that would make you a shitty date and a shittier bodyguard.”

Steve walked over to the bar and asked the bartender for a glass of water. Dorian spotted him across the room and sat on the stool next to him. He watched Steve and let out a deep sigh.

“You poor bastard…” he whispered. 

Steve chuckled. “You’re Dorian, right?”

He nodded. “In the flesh. So when are you gonna tell her?”

“Nothing to tell.”

Dorian rolled his eyes and ordered whiskey. “Can I tell you that’s a load of bullshit? You’re clearly into my sister. I mean, I get it. She’s sort of nuts, but I get it.” Steve looked down at his glass and took another sip. “Listen, I’m just her protective gay vigilante brother, but I’ve seen that look on enough men’s faces to know when someone is into my sister, and at least I know you’re not a sociopath or… Wade Wilson.”

“She’s going through something, I don’t wanna push my feelings onto her.”

“I never said you had to tell her tonight, but if my sister feels the same way for you she’ll take that to her grave. That’s a fact. Nothing scares her more than her own emotions because she can’t control them as much as she wishes she could.”

They looked back at the dancefloor, only to find that Kijana was gone. She was completely gone. Steve narrowed his eyes, posture straightening as he became alert. Dorian closed his eyes and tried listening for her.

“STEVE!” 

It was distant, but it was her. He pointed in the direction of the back door and drew a knife from his boot. “You ready to fight someone tonight, Cap?”

He spotted two men carrying Kijana away, kicking and screaming, and immediately charged. “Always.”

They followed the kidnappers out into the alley. They spotted Steve and froze. “C-Captain America?!”

“Not tonight.”

“He told us to kill anyone who helps her.”

Dorian walked closer, his knife in position. “ _ Who _ told you?” 

“The old man with the accent.”

Kijana looked at Steve and Dorian, the most afraid Steve had ever seen her. Steve tried to think fast. “You’re not leaving this alley unless you drop her.”

The kidnappers dropped Kijana, she landed oddly on her knee and curled up in pain. The kidnappers nervously drew knives of their own, “We don’t wanna do this, Cap.”

Dorian threw the knife, it cut across the arm of one of the attackers causing him to drop the knife. Dorian ran over to him, kicking him to the ground. Steve punched the other while he was distracted. He swung the knife towards his head. Kijana crawled over to the wall, keeping an eye on the fight, looking for a way to intervene from the side. 

“Why’d he only send two?” Steve asked. "Seems weak..."

Dorian nodded on agreement. "Yeah... Like a trap..."

Kijana looked up and saw a dark figure standing at the opposite end of the alley. “No… STEVE! DORIAN! COVER YOUR EARS!”

“We can’t!” Dorian said, dodging a punch. “Our hands ain’t free!”

“Your minds won’t be free in a second, look!” They dropped the kidnappers and looked up. Dorian scrambled backwards and Steve froze. “You see him, too.”

Steve nodded. “I see him…”

“Not yet, not here.” said the shadowy man. “Tonight, I learned something about you… Mostly  _ you _ , Steven…” The man turned away from them. “You’ll be seeing me. You two disappointments, go home.”

With that, he disappeared and the kidnappers ran home. Kijana propped herself up on the wall, hobbling over to Steve and leaning on him. He wrapped an arm around her waist to support her. “Dorian, go inside. Tell Leon and Daniela what happened when the show is over. I can’t have them not knowing, it puts them at risk.” Dorian ran inside immediately. “Steve, take me back to my apartment.”

Steve shook his head. “He could be there.”

“No, he’s not that predictable, and I’m too injured to really resist like he'd want me to. I need a soft place to heal.”

Steve wasn’t comfortable with that plan, but he decided to go along with it. “Point me in the right direction.”

* * *

 

“This is it.”

“This is your place?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Why are the lights out in the hallway?”

“Sometimes it just happens… I just shrugged, I know you couldn’t see it.”

“Oh, okay.”

“Did you just touch my ass?”

“Oh, um, I thought it was your purse.”

The keys jingled as Kijana unlocked the door. “I didn’t leave with a purse, Steve.” The warm apartment light gave them a bit of light. Kijana ran her fingers through her hair.  “Let me go in first to check for crackheads.”

Steve held the door open slightly while she went inside. She came back to him with a grin on her face. “All clear?”

She shook her head. “Not quite. But it’s definitely not a crackhead.”

She opened the door all the way, and Steve groaned. “Oh boy…”

The man in the black and red suit jumped up from the couch and ran over to him, wearing what he could only assume was an expression of awe. “CAPTAIN FUCKING AMERICA!”

“Steve, meet Wade.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	10. What's Love Got To Do With It?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna take this chapter and the last one out but they're so much fun and they go so well together, i figured why the hell shouldn't we have two filler chapters??? why not???  
> wade's flashback is in italics  
> actual plot things happen in the next one

Kijana knew this would be good. It had to be, how could it not be? As far as opposites went, Steve Rogers and Wade Wilson were on opposite poles. They were on opposite planes. She’d been wanting them to meet, and here they were, and she was not even going to interfere. She’d just get the ball rolling, sit back, and watch the show.

“Sorry, Steve, I forgot to mention that sometimes he just pops in.” she said. His reaction to her ear-to-ear grin was a pained one, but that only made her giddier. “Wade, sweets, help me to the couch.”

“Why are you limping?!” Wade asked. He looked at Steve. “What’d you do?”

Kijana hissed as he helped her hobble to the couch and lay down. “He didn’t do anything, my old friend is back.”

Wade gasped. “Wait, THAT friend?” She nodded. “Fuck, Keej, why didn’t you tell me? Where was he?”

“Leon’s show tonight. My leg is healing itself because I fell weird. I’m fine for now, don’t worry about me.”

“Keej, I’m worried about you 24/7! I’ve seen the shit they fight! Did you not see the fucking CITY float?!” He turned to Steve. “Wait, that really happened, right? A city floated. I’m not just making that up, right?”

Steve sighed. “It happened.”

“I never know for sure.” He pointed his gun towards his own head. “Things are real fuzzy up here.” He stared at Steve for a few seconds. “You are like a genetically modified Ken doll…”

“Thank you?”

“God, you must be a pussy magnet… I was, once. Like, ‘World’s Sexiest Dad’ level.” he said. “Of course that never meant anything to Keej, she’s only seen me looking like this... a dehydrated ballsack.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, it ain’t something you’d want to see covered in oil and surrounded by roses on Valentine’s Day.”

Kijana snorted. “That was a fun year!”

“Wasn’t it?! We weren’t even dating, I just forgot whose apartment I was in.”

Steve shut the door and sat by Kijana’s feet on the couch with his head in his hands. “Alright, I’m curious, how’d you two meet?”

Kijana sighed. “Have I not told you this story before, Spangles?” He shook his head. “Good, Wade tells it better anyway.”

Wade pulled out his gun and Steve’s eyes got wide. “Oh, this is just for theatrics.” Steve let out a sigh of relief. “It was Kijana’s birthday and she’d pissed off some greasy haired white guy in Queens. The greasy white guy was like, ‘Hmm, some hot piece of ass just pissed me off, what do I do when people piss me off? I send nutjobs to put bullets in their perfect skulls.’ So that’s where I come in…”

 

_I get the address of some shitty apartment in a shitty neighborhood and I know this has to be a vigilante. Who else hates themselves enough to live this way? The greasy white guy says she has freak magical powers so I’m prepared to break some arms, as one does._

_So, I get to the place, climb through the window, she’s sitting there and, I swear it was like looking at a newborn unicorn. Or a mature unicorn that you want to stick it into… The point is I wanted to fuck her._

 

“WADE!”

“What?! This is my flashback, Keej.”

Kijana huffed, her face bright red. “Go on…”

 

_I point the gun at her and then my gun FUCKING BREAKS. I’m like… ‘Whoa, what the shit fuck?!’. Next thing I know, the chick is standing on my chest with her dagger aimed for my face. I am rock hard._

_“Sorry about the gun.” she says. I immediately become conflicted. On one hand, money is money. On another hand, my dick…_

_“No problem, I’m Deadpool.”_

_“Aja, it’s a pleasure.”_

_“I sure as hell hope so.”_

_She giggles, but I am not kidding. This moment replays in my head almost every night after that first murder attempt._

 

“How many murder attempts were there exactly?” Steve asked.

“A few.” Kijana replied.

Wade nodded. “Yeah, a few. Pay attention, Cap, I have some shit to cover here!”

 

_“If I let you go, will you try to kill me again?” she asks. She knows the answer, we all know the answer, my wallet knows the answer, my conflicted penis sure as hell doesn’t know the answer._

_“‘Fraid so, Zoe Saldana.”_

_She rolls her eyes. “At least call me an actress who can actually act.”_

_“Sanaa Lathan?”_

_She smiles. “I’ll take it.”_

_She lets me go and I stand up and immediately start swinging the katanas but, holy shit, she is quick! She dodges every swipe, and even manages to stab me in the fucking stomach! I can’t believe it!_

_When she notices that I heal myself, I try slicing her in the face but then SHE HEALS HERSELF, TOO?!_

_So, we’re both standing there, two people who can’t kill each other, not knowing how the fuck to go about this. All I’m thinking about is what she’d look like wearing nothing but my mask and ALSO how the hell I’m supposed to get that money, because the agreement was I’d come back with a head._

_“Can I come back tomorrow?” I ask her._

_She nods. “Yeah… That would be… Yeah….”_

_So, flash forward to a few months later, we’re listening to Kate Bush in bed, covered in blood for some reason-_

 

“You just killed the mob boss that sent you to kill me.” Kijana reminded him. "It was very romantic.”

Wade chuckled. “I’m really glad you can’t see me blushing under the mask.”

 

_-and I’m like, “Wouldn’t it be funny if we got married?”_

_AND SHE FUCKING AGREES WITH ME AND WE GET MARRIED THAT FUCKING NIGHT._

_Then we got divorced._

_But she's never been able to rid herself of me, because I still hold her favorite thong in my possession._

 

“DO YOU REALLY?!” Kijana asked.

He nodded. “It’s under the fuckin’ jumpsuit! I got tired of carrying it in my pockets, so I just figured…”

They turned to Steve, who wasn’t sure how to react to any of that story. Kijana patted him on the back. “Don’t think too hard about it.”

“Anyway, now she’s all successful and she’s an Avenger and getting escorted home with injuries by you, Mr. America, so it all turned out alright.”

“Wow… I’m glad I asked.” Steve said. “Kijana, do you need me to stay with you, or is Wade going to-”

Wade shook his head. “No, no, no I have a thing to do.”

Kijana furrowed her brows. “You do?”

He cleared his throat. “Yeah, yeah, I have a thing.”

She glared at him. “Steve, can you get me my Advil from the kitchen, it’s gonna be a long night…”

“Sure.”

Steve got up and went into the kitchen and Kijana turned back to Wade. “What the fuck?! You never have a thing to do when you’re here!” she whispered.

“Okay, you got me, I really want you two to…” He made a circle with one hand, sticking his gun through it suggestively with the other.

“What is with you and my brothers? Y’all been talking to each other?”

“A little…”

She scoffed. “Really?!”

“We all just want you to be happy, is that a crime? Is happiness a fucking crime now? Are you gonna arrest people who make cat videos next?!”

“So you’re trying to hook me up with someone who is essentially my fucking boss?!”

“Hey, Kijana, where’s the Advil?” Steve asked.

“Next to the salt, it’s a metaphor!”

Wade lifted his mask off of his face. “Keej, I will literally pay you to fuck him. I’d do it if you paid me!”

“We are two _very_ different people, Wade! I can’t believe you’re really doing this!”

“He seems nice enough! I’m pretty sure he’s a virgin, but you can fix that.”

Wade noticed Steve coming back in and covered his face again. Steve handed Kijana the Advil and a glass of water.

“Bless your sweet idiot heart.” She groaned. “You were leaving, right, Wade?”

“Yeah. I was just leaving…” He grabbed her iPhone, opened Spotify, and started playing ‘What’s Love Got To Do With It’. Kijana felt as if she were stuck in a nightmare. “Just leaving…” He hopped out of the window and she turned off the music.

"I'm taking a shower, stay put."

Steve chuckled. "Where would I go?"

"Just stay put, white boys like to rummage."

* * *

 

After her shower, Kijana braided her hair for the night and put on her pajamas. Steve got himself a glass of water and she'd found a pair of old men's sweatpants for him.

“So, that was Wade.” she said.

Steve laughed through his nose. “Well, we know he really loves you.”

Kijana sighed and tucked her hair into her bonnet. “He does, to a fault. You want a blanket?"

“Yes, ma'am. Can’t believe you met after he tried to kill you.”

She went into her room to look for a spare blanket and he settled down on the couch for the night. “Well, Steve, _we_ met when I was handcuffed to a table. I’m pretty sure I spat at you.”

“I can’t remember.”

“Yeah, well, you’re very forgiving... You’re a good person that way.”

“So are you.”

She bit her lip. “It’s not a contest…”

“Really? I can’t believe you, of all people, just said that.”

“I’m taking it back then.” She tossed him a blanket. “You can use my toothbrush tomorrow, by the way, I’m not gonna die and there’s no use being cute about it.”

“Heading to bed?” he asked.

“Yeah, you should too. We have work tomorrow, Spangles. Goodnight.”

He grinned at her. “Goodnight.”

She sunk into her bed and let out a deep breath. She’d definitely never admit this, especially not to Wade or her brothers, but she felt so much safer with Steve sleeping in the other room...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> civil war has ruined me but also given me a million fic ideas  
> a MILLION


	11. The Darkest Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for... Everything that happens towards the end of this chapter  
> It's nothing personal, I'm just an asshole  
> (remember to check the blog for updates on this fic and everything else i'm writing captainafroelf.tumblr.com)

The wet pavement shined underneath the streetlights. It was 2 am and New York was living up to it’s usual reputation of restlessness. People were out drinking, dancing. Some kids were playing ball in a park nearby. The rooftops were no exception to the restlessness, as the four Harrison brothers in their dark uniforms sat and waited.

Dorian listened closely to the police scanner, paying attention to street names, to codes, scratching the freshly shaved skin of his new undercut. He knew the scanner codes by heart now. If there was something close that they could handle, they’d be there in a heartbeat.

Leon banged a nice beat out on an old container and Brandon spit rhymes to his heart’s content. As gruesome and violent as their night job could get, the elder Harrison boys were determined to keep Brandon’s youth normal and fun. Dorian especially felt as if he’d let Kijana down, he didn’t want Brandon to feel like he had to grow up as quickly as they did.

Tyler twirled his nunchucks to the beat and tried whistling to give Brandon a melody to bounce off of.

“ _Brand’s the name, I do got game, if I do say so myself these other heroes is lame._

_Five foot nine, real fine, chills runnin’ down ya spine, I’m the one you finna call when ya life’s on the line._

_They try to mess with me but it won’t be eas-y, we’ll have ‘em runnin’ home, have ‘em feelin’ queas-y._

_My rhymes are dope, but watch these hands, if you catch ‘em you might not be able to stand_.”

Brandon pointed to Tyler and took over the melody.

“ _Ayo, my name is Ty, all the girls know I’m fly_

_Got ‘em runnin’, tellin’ their friends I’m one hell of a guy-_ ”

Leon exploded with laughter. “BOY, IF YOU DON’T!”

Tyler crossed his arms. “I got game. Y’all just don’t know. The chickens at school naturally gravitate towards my confidence and lanky swagger.”

“Negro, please! ‘Lanky swagger’?! ‘Chickens’?! I’m really about to push your nerd ass off this roof.” Leon said. “What the hell is ‘lanky swagger’, my guy? Is that like ‘Steve Urkel Chic’?”

Brandon sucked his teeth. “Leave him alone, man. He wanna be a player, let him be a player.”

Tyler stood up and spun around. “Look at me, dawg. Thin, tall, dark, and geeky. Hardison from ‘Leverage’, Michael Jackson, Donald Glover, Pharrell Williams? Ringin’ any bells? It’s an aesthetic, boys.”

“I know you did _not_ just compare yourself to Aldis Hodge and Michael Jackson.” Dorian said. “You can’t have Pharrell’s New Black ass, and Lord knows Donald Glover don’t like Black women, but that other shit? That’s a crime. I should be arresting you right now, man.”

Tyler rolled his eyes. “I compared myself to the _character_ Aldis played. Thin, tall, dark, and geeky. ‘Lanky swagger’ does not require traditional sexual attractiveness. It thrives on the allure of the mind.”

After setting the bucket to the side, Leon groaned. “So you’re like, what? A sapiosexial now?”

“Ugh, no, I’m too Black for that. However, while you gents are out attracting mates with your physical pheromones, I’m reeling them in with the chemicals of the mind.”

Brandon started chuckling. “What the fuck?”

Leon shook his head. “Did this nigga just call us ‘gents’?”

“Tyler, you’re attractive enough, bro. You can get a date without a gimmick.” Dorian assured him. “This entire fucking family is. Hell, I’d argue that the most attractive sibling ain’t even here right now.”

“Daniela?” Leon asked.

Dorian shook his head. “I’m talking about Keej. Daniela is an in-law. This is a gene-specific conversation.”

“Where is Keej, exactly?” Tyler asked. “Haven’t heard from her since the thing happened at your show.”

“That’s because she’s been texting _me_ everyday to make sure I’m studying for my AP exams.” Brandon told them, waving his phone. “Apparently, Steve Rogers has been staying with her for almost two weeks. Got his own toothbrush and razor at her place. What does that sound like to y’all? I tried telling her what it sounded like to me and she swore I was being extra.”

“What’d she say?”

Brandon pulled up the texts. “Aight, so I said ‘Cap’s been at your place for like half a month, Keej… he has clothes there’. She was like, ‘It’s only temporary, he’ll be gone by the end of the month. You can sleep over after that if you want’.”

Tyler laughed. “So blind to her own emotions, typical Kijana.”

“Right? So then I said ‘y’all showerin’ together too?’ and she got mad and ain’t reply for like half an hour. Then she sent me a poop emoji because that’s _real_ mature.”

“She likes him.” Dorian said. “She really likes that white boy. It’s all over her face.”

Leon put his chin on his hands and smiled. “God, what if they get married? How can I lose when Captain America is my brother in-law?”

“Wade failed us earlier, so we’re really gonna have to put more effort into getting them together.” Brandon said. “After she arrests her weird stalker Kilgrave-copycat, of course.”

Leon started drumming again. “ _Steve and Kijana, sittin’ in a tree…K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes fighting, then comes lovin’, if they have babies I’m moving to Quebec_.”

Dorian laughed. “That didn’t even rhyme.”

“That’s because I’m not kidding, boy. I am outta here. Those kids are gonna be a mess that I’m not prepared to handle.”

Dorian turned his attention to the police scanner when he heard an interesting code. “ _Hey, I think we got a 5150… Possibly armed...  I don’t know what’s goin’ on, he’s just standin’ there… Neighbors said he was scaring ‘em… He’s old, got scars on his face…_ ”

“Yo! Listen to this…” he said. They all crouched around the scanner.

“ _He told us to drop our weapons… Goddamnit… I dropped my gun, I don’t know why. He said… Come out, come out, Harrison boys… What does that mean?! We need back-up at-_ ” The transmission cut off.

The brothers looked at each other. “It’s him…” Leon said. “It’s gotta be…”

Tyler shook his head. “What could he possibly want with us? What’s his plan?”

Dorian shrugged and pulled his mask over his face. “I don’t know, but he’s about to add tonight to his list of regrets, along with fucking with Keej.” The other three boys looked at him, they’d never seen him so angry, so ready to go. It didn’t scare them, it motivated them. “I heard them mention Lexington Ave, let’s go.”

* * *

 

They sped off, covering their bases, listening and watching from the Harlem rooftops. Tyler spotted the police vehicles and they all followed him into an alley by an old restaurant. The police were waiting for them there. They jumped down onto their vehicles and got their weapons ready.

“Alright, boys, we’ve had our differences, let’s not pretend we haven’t.” Dorian said, examining the situation. The police were clearly under a spell, they were shaking, sweating. They looked as if they were being held hostage. “But let’s not pretend that you have things under control. Where is he?”

One of the officers stepped forward, his hands shook as he raised his gun. “W-We are not t-to kill you.” he said. “We w-were told to hold you here for him. We’re a distraction.”

Tyler raised an eyebrow. “Well… where the hell is he?”

“Behind you.”

They turned and the man who tormented their sister was there with a smile on his face. “Dorian, Leon, fight the kind officers, will you?”

Leon and Dorian fought against the command, but there was no use. They charged for the officers and started fighting with all their might. Tyler and Brandon turned to attack him.

“Now, now, Tyler, Brandon… Freeze.”

They stopped where they were. Dorian and Leon looked back, trying to fight their way over to their little brothers. Yelling for them to cover their ears.

“Don’t listen to them, boys, listen to me.”

The stranger walked around them, inspecting them. He could see Brandon’s fists starting to twitch against his command, ready to swing for his jaw. It was less a matter of him not wanting to get hurt, but him wanting to protect his sister.

“Fuck you…”

“Brandon Harrison. National Honor Society, three AP classes, on track to becoming the next leader of this nation… _Vigilante_.”

Brandon scowled at him. “Weird old guy who hurt my sister. Looks like a bitch, talks like a bitch, walks like a bitch… _Bitch_.”

“You have heart, young man. You’re quite strong, quite fast, like your sister...”

He spat. “What the fuck do you know about _heart_ or my sister?!”

The stranger laughed. “You’re right… I’m heartless. But I do know how to use people who have one. And she's only your half-sister, don't be so dramatic.”

"My sister is my sister," Brandon said through gritted teeth. "I don't love anyone on this EARTH more than I love my sister."

"She mentioned you often... She didn't want you to end up like her, she thought you'd be the family's star..." The old man turned to Tyler, whose eyes widened when they made contact. “Tyler, go fight alongside your brothers.”

Tyler looked back at Brandon. Trying to resist as much as he could. "He's a baby..."

"Go now!" the old man said once more. 

Tyler ran to join their brothers. Dorian almost stopped when he saw just him. “Where’s Brandon?”

“He’s still there, man!”

“BRANDON!” Dorian shouted. “C’MON MAN, TUNE HIM OUT!”

“Don’t listen to them, Brandon. Come with me…”

The remaining brothers screamed with all the energy they could muster. The last of the officers went down, allowing them to run to their brother’s aide. “NO, BRANDON!”

The stranger put his hand up, his eyes glowing the way Kijana’s sometimes did. They’d know it anywhere. “You three will stop and go home.  You won’t say a word to anyone. Brandon belongs to me.”

All they could do is watch, as their brother fell into the same hands as their sister. Dorian especially couldn’t hold back the tears for longer than a minute.


	12. The Incident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A series of... interesting little events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *drops this after exactly two seconds of editing and milly rocks away*

Kijana leaned on the bathroom doorway in her workout gear with her arms crossed on her chest and watched Steve shave his face. Something about the sight tickled her, she couldn’t place it. Steve raised an eyebrow.

“Something you have to say, Miss. Harrison?”

She covered her giggles and shook her head. “I just… Didn’t know you grew facial hair.”

Steve grinned. “Captain America is clean shaven.”

She sucked her teeth. “But beards are in! Beards are the thing men have these days, I really wanna see you with a beard, like, season three Rick Grimes level… _Captain Lumberjack_.”

“You would, I don’t think everyone else would.”

She whined. “I’m not everyone else! I mean, you’re hot, Spangles. But you could always be hotter.”

He laughed. “Does that have anything to do with me doing my job?”

“It doesn’t have to, and you know it. Hurry up, I wanna get to the facility before everyone else.”

“Why?”

She winked. “Learn to trust me, Rogers.”

“I trust you.”

“Well, learn to show it. I’ll tell you what’s happening when we get there.” She held out her pinky. “Pinky promise.”

He looked at her hand. “Any fine print attached to this?”

She nodded. “Next time we have more than two days off we’re going to Disney World.”

He pinky promised her. “I’m only agreeing because we’re never gonna have more than two days off.”

“That’s what you think.”

* * *

 

“We should go to the zoo soon.”

Kijana had been listing off places to go with “Old Man” Steve since breakfast. He thought for sure that she’d run out of ideas by now, but that was far from the case.

He held the door of the Avengers facility open for her and she walked through before gasping loudly. “The central park zoo has a penguin feeding, we could feed penguins!” She poked him in the stomach. “Y’all could trade stories about sleeping in ice.”

“I don’t think the penguins would be great conversationalists.”

She giggled. “Something else you have in common.”

“Ah, c’mon…”

Kijana rolled her eyes. “Steven, the only reason you talk to me is because we are temporary roommates.”

He chuckled. “Yeah, of course, because it’s clearly not your charm and people skills.”

She side-eyed him. He was becoming much better at countering her, she didn’t like it. “Next time you’re in the shower, I’m flushing twice.”

“Alright, so, we’re here.”

“We are.”

“Tell me why we’re here. You told me you would.”

She scrunched up her nose. “Did I though?”

“Kijana!”

“Spangles!” She toook his hand and pulled him to the elevator. “We’re not gonna do anything bad or dangerous, it’ll be fun… I think it will, at least.”

“You and I have very different definitions of fun.”

“I know, that’s why we get along so well.”

They stepped into the elevator. Pietro and Sam stepped out. “Where are you two going?”

Kijana smiled mischievously. “To the gym.”

“Alright, have fun.”

Steve laughed dryly. “I would if I knew what was happe-”

Kijana covered his mouth and pressed the button for the doors to close.

* * *

 

They got down to the gym and Kijana dropped her bag near the boxing equipment. She stretched a little and turned on some music. “Remember how I wanted you to fight me when we first met?”

Steve nodded slowly. “I do…”

“Never stopped wanting you to fight me.” she said. “But I never figured out when the right time would be, y’know? But lately I feel like we both need it. Shit’s been stressful. We’re two superhumans with healing powers, so why the fuck not, right?”

“Again, terrible logic.”

She put her hands on her hips. “Steve, do you trust me not to hurt you?”

“Of course.”

“And I sure as hell trust you not to hurt me, so let’s go! It’ll be fun!” She put her hair up and wiggled her eyebrows. “It’ll be like a game.”

He let out a defeated sigh and she stepped into the ring. “You sure you wanna do this?”

She smiled. “As a wise man once told me, ‘Yeah, bitch’.”

He stepped into the ring with her. They circled each other at first, but then Kijana made the first kick towards Steve’s center, which he blocked, and used to push her back.

She regained her balance and laughed. “Oh fuck!”

“Yeah…”

“You’re all defense and no offense. But you’re, like, really good defense.”

He shrugged. “You could always try again.”

She swung for his face and he caught that, giving her time to knee him in the chest. He doubled over and she kneed him again. She used all of her strength to slam him on his back, with a roar for dramatic effect.

“You okay, old man?”

“Never stop to taunt.”

Steve used his free hand to push her backwards, straddling her and holding her arms down on the mat. He had her pinned, definitely. He was using all of his weight to hold her down, giving her a cocky smile. She couldn’t take it. She tried pushing him off, and even managed to lift her arms a bit, but it was no use.

“What’s the rule? You have to be pinned for ten seconds.” Steve asked.

She shook her head. “Every time I lift my arms off the mat, that clock restarts.”

“Then stop lifting them.”

She glared at him and gave one last push up as if she were benchpressing him. She had finally lifted him high enough to the point where she could lift her head, then she got an idea.

As he began to push back, her lips crashed onto his. His eyes widened and his arms slacked. She held his face in her hands and kissed him even deeper. Then, when he was completely distracted, she pinned him to the ground with her arm across his chest and his leg over her shoulder.

She winked and held him there, counting to ten aloud, basically whispering it into his lips. Then she pulled away, and he let the back of his head hit the mat.

She let his leg drop and he sat up and caught his breath. “Goddamn, she murdered everybody and I was her witness!” He looked at her, eyes lingering on her lips, and she didn’t even notice. “Welp, that was satisfying, Rogers. I’m kind of impressed that you thought-”

Steve grabbed her by the back of her neck and kissed her again, this time rougher, needier. She was surprised at first, but then she put her hands on his shoulders and he wrapped his arms around her, running excited hands up and down her back.

Kijana wasn’t thinking, but she was _feeling_. She was suddenly so aware of everything, from her hair to her skin to the curling of her toes. Everything was sensitive. It felt like magic.

She crawled into his lap and tugged on his shirt, which was clinging to his skin. They could hear nothing but their breathing, Kijana released light moans that she didn’t expect to hear. She realized what was happening, she realized that it was _Steve_ , and she immediately panicked.

She pulled off of him and they stared at each other for a moment, trying to decide their next move. Steve opened his mouth to speak, but Kijana beat him to it.

“We shouldn’t…” she whispered. “We can’t.”

He nodded and repeated. “We can’t.” _But he wanted to_.

“It wouldn’t be right with everything that’s going on…”

He forced his eyes away from her lips. “It wouldn’t be right…” _But it felt right_.

She crawled out of the ring and grabbed her gym bag, trying to act like it never happened, and failing. “I’m gonna hit the showers, do you think Sam is still upstairs? I might wanna grab some lunch with him and the Maximoffs.”

Steve was still in a daze, but he shook himself out. “Yeah, yeah, they should all be there.”

She nodded. “See you later? Are you coming home with me?”

He shook his head. “I think I might stay late.”

“Yeah, alright…”

* * *

 

Sam pulled up to Kijana’s apartment and she grabbed her bag from the backseat. “You sure you’ll be okay on your own tonight?”

She shrugged. “One night without Steve shouldn’t be too bad, right?” She needed space from him, space to think. Space that would allow her to process why she could still feel his hands and ghosts of his lips on hers. "I can handle myself."

“Call me when you get there, alright? Don’t have me worryin’ about you, Kijana.”

She kissed him on the cheek. “You need to worry about one thing and one thing only and that’s me stealing your wings.”

“Don’t you dare.”

She got out of his car and leaned over to talk through the rolled down window. “Thanks for taking me home, Sam.”

He grinned. “Remember to call me.”

“I have enough brothers, Samuel Thomas.”

She walked into her building. Sam stayed behind until she got inside. Of course the elevator wasn’t working, so she just took the stairs up to her floor.

She got to her place and pulled out her phone to call Sam as she unlocked the door. “You still there, pretty bird?”

“Yup.”

“Just got home. You need to head home, too. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, Keej.”

She hung up and closed the door behind her, then turned on the living room light. Brandon was standing there in full gear, weapon drawn, with bloodshot glowing purple eyes, tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Kijana dropped her keys. “What the fuck…”

“You shouldn’t have come home, sis.”


	13. Runs in The Family

If you’d asked Kijana as a child what her worst nightmare was, she would’ve said something about ten-foot spiders attacking her in her sleep, falling from great heights, losing all of her toys. As a teenager, she would’ve said alcohol poisoning or being alone.

Now, here, her greatest nightmare was standing in front of her in the form of her little brother, who was in the grips of the same mind control that nearly killed her years before.

She was almost too stunned to speak. She moved around the room, watching his eyes move with her against his wishes. Everything in him was fighting this, she knew the feeling.

“He tell you to kill me?” she asked. “What did he tell you?”

He shook his head stiffly. “He told me to grab you and take you back to him by force.”

“And if I won’t go? He must know I would never agree to that.”

Brandon swallowed and stuttered out his reply. “Kill or be killed.”

“I won’t agree to that either.”

“I don’t think we have much of a choice.”

Kijana sucked in a breath. This was inevitable, she’d actually have to fight her brother. She’d have to knock him out or he’d kill her or she’d kill him. She hated this, it was like being locked in a cage with a werewolf who’s about to transform. She saw the fear in him. She wanted to kill the man who did this to him, rip him to shreds.

She walked up to him and gently touched his cheek. She babysat that face. She was there when he was born. She taught him to fight his bullies. She helped him with his history homework. She taught him how to dance before middle school dances. This was her baby brother.

“I love you.” she whispered.

He nodded. “I love you, too.”

He took a deep breath and punched her in the cheek, almost knocking her over. She punched him back, twice as hard. She knew that was the key to this, hits to the head. She just didn’t like it.

He stumbled back and she punched him again. He lunged for her, hooking his arm around her throat. She elbowed him and they fell onto a table.

“Fuck, that took forever to assemble.” she groaned. “Fucking Wade got it for me as a housewarming gift.” She bit down on his arm and he screamed and released her, giving her time to stand. She looked around for something to use as a weapon.

“I’m sorry.” Brandon said honestly.

She grinned. “You didn’t do it, baby boy.”

She grabbed on of the table’s legs, and he grabbed her ankles, making her slam face first into the floor. She turned just in time to kick him away as he tried crawling on top of her.

She sat on top of him and raised the table leg to hit him, then she held herself there. “Brandon…”

He could see tears welling in her eyes, and turned his head. She could see his chubby cheeks, and every birthday party. She saw the pair of his baby shoes that their mother kept with the rest. She remembered fighting alongside him, always.  

“I can’t hurt you…”

“You have to, Keej.” he told her. “I don’t want to have to hurt you.”

He took the table leg and swiped her across the face, sending her back. He kicked her in the stomach, and she felt a rib crack. That would be a bitch to heal. She gripped her side and tried standing again, but stumbled. He kicked her again.

“Alright… Fuck it.”

Using all of her strength, she ran into her bedroom and Brandon ran after her. She ran around the room and under the bed and before he could crawl out the other side, she’d already left the room and shut the door behind her.

“Don’t touch my Shea Moisture.”

He scoffed and tried breaking the door down. “Why would I touch that if I’m trying to fucking kill you, Keej?”

She ran to her cellphone and dialed for Steve, then started barricading the door. “It’s expensive!” The phone rang only once before he picked up. “Steve!”

“Yeah…” He was obviously still feeling awkward from the incident. Kijana didn’t care.

“I need you to come to my place right now.” she said. “The Stranger, the man that got me, got my brother, and now my brother is in my apartment trying to fucking abduct me. I need to get him out of here, so he can be safe and I can watch him.”

“How’re you gonna get him out of the trance?” Steve asked.

“I’m not, why the hell do you think I called you, Spangles? For a lift?” she asked. “The only way to break the trance is to hit him hard on the head or knock him out, get him unconscious. Put him in a sleeper hold.” She started breaking down. “I can’t touch him, Steve, I can’t fucking do it…”

Kijana heard something drop, then heard Brandon yell. “IS THIS A DILDO?!”

She paused and put her hands on her hips. “Why are you in my chest?!”

“I’M LOOKING FOR THINGS TO BREAK THE DOOR WITH, CAN’T BLAME ME FOR SEARCHING!” She heard him whine. “Oh my God, why is it so big? Do you actually put that thing inside of you?!”

“PRETEND YOU DIDN’T SEE IT!”

“Keej, please tell me you’ve never thought about Captain America when you-”

“Brandon!” Kijana was so happy he couldn’t see her blush. “Jesus, what are you? _Mom_? _Leon_?”

There was a pause before Brandon ran into the door with his shoulder. She went back to stacking furniture. “That’s not exactly a ‘no’.”

“I don’t think I really _have_ to give you a ‘yes’ or ‘no’.”

“You’ve thought about it, haven’t you?” he asked. “Oh my God, you’ve totally mastubated to the thought of an American war hero!”

She really didn’t need this right now. “I’m not talking about masturbation with my teenage brother while he’s trying to murder-slash-kidnap me.”

“I’ve got all the time in the world, sis.” She could still hear him ramming himself against the door. She could swear she heard his shoulder dislocate, which would explain the blood-curdling scream he released. “If I-” _Bang_ . “Get out of here-” _Bang_ . “And I get close to killing you-” _Bang_. “Kill me first!”

She shook her head. “No, Brandon, I’m not fucking doing that.”

“I will kill myself if I kill you.”

“You’re not dying!”

Steve was still on the line. “No one has to die, I’m on my way now.”

Kijana pushed the couch to the front of her furniture barricade and sat on it. “Thank you, Steve. Really.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

* * *

 

Steve was over there in under an hour. Brandon managed to break a hole through the door and Kijana was using her powers to keep it on it’s hinges. She was straining so hard it gave her a headache. That, paired with other wounds that’d been healing, hurt like hell. She felt worse about Brandon’s injuries. He couldn’t heal the way she could.

When Steve came in, he saw the scene and immediately ran to check on Kijana. “Are you alright?”

She nodded. “I have a plan.” She whispered it into his ear and he nodded once he understood.

Brandon looked through the hole in the door and his eyes widened. “Dude! You’re Steve Rogers! You’re Captain America!”

Steve grinned and waved. “Sorry we had to meet this way.”

“There are worse ways.” Brandon said. “I mean, I could be dead and you’re an angel.”

Kijana sighed. “He’s here to help. I’m opening the door, okay?”

“What do you mean, Keej?!”

Steve helped her move the barricade away, then took steps back as Brandon slammed the door open. The state of his shoulder was ghastly, he was sweating profusely, and his chest was heaving with adrenaline.

He charged for Kijana and she dodged him at the last second. Steve grabbed him and turned him around, putting him in a chokehold. Brandon fought against it, even causing them to fall, but Steve was stronger and bigger.

“Sorry Brandon…” Steve said.

“It’s… Cool…”

Eventually, Brandon stopped struggling and went limp. Steve let him go instantly, trying not to kill him. Kijana ran over and checked for a pulse, smiling and kissing Brandon’s face when she found it.

Steve let out a sigh of relief. “There’s an empty couch at me and Sam’s place.” he told her. “If you want it, of course.”

She looked up and smiled even wider, tackling him. She kissed both his cheeks and squeezed him. “You saved my little brother!”

“Is that a ‘yes’ for the couch?”

She nodded. “Yeah, and I owe you.”

He shook his head. “You would’ve done the same thing for me.”

She bit her lip and her eyes fell on his lips. She sat up and they lifted Brandon up. “He’s gonna wake up freaking out about how Captain America put him in a chokehold.”

Steve chuckled. “Your family’s weird, Kijana.”

“You’re the human equivalent of a stuffed pizza, let’s not play this game.”

“Run that by me again.”

“Normal people are regular crust, you used to be thin crust, now you’re thick, stuffed crust. It’s pizza, Steve, not rocket science.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everybody gets some well-earned rest in the next two chapters  
> well... sort of ;)


	14. Time to Breathe (Part 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was originally one ten-page chapter but hey, i love to leave y'all in suspense  
> also anthony mackie squeezed me and sebastian stan sang my name so blame them for the delay

Brandon woke up with a headache. It wasn’t bad, just disorienting. He saw blurry images of what he thought to be people as he opened his eyes. Once his vision focused, he saw his sister, Steve, Sam Wilson, and a pretty woman he didn’t recognize, standing around him in a medical room. The clinical white light only intensified the headache.

The woman he couldn't identify seemed startled when his eyes fluttered open, then she smiled. “He’s awake!” She exclaimed. 

The others turned to him and Kijana threw her arms around him. He wanted to hug her back but his hands were bound to the table by restraints. What a thing to wake up to. “Do you still have to kill me?” she asked him.

He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

Kijana undid his restraints immediately and he sat up and hugged her back tighter than she’d hugged him. They stayed like that for a while, Kijana couldn’t let go. He rubbed her back and she kissed his cheek. 

“It’s not your fault.” he told her. “None of this was your fault, sis.”

She nodded. “I know.” She pulled off and turned to her friends. “Brandon, this is Steve, Sam, and Dr. Helen Cho.”

Brandon smiled the widest at Sam. “You’re the Falcon, man!”

Sam, not used to being the center of attention when standing anywhere near Steve, grinned. “Yeah, man, what’s up?”

“You’re my hero! That takedown in DC was legendary! So sick!” Brandon shouted. “We watched the live news coverage when it happened, Kijana and our brothers and our ma, and I couldn’t believe there was a Black man flying around on-” He groaned and leaned back.

Helen sighed and held her hand on his forehead. “You shouldn't overexert yourself until that headache is gone. Mind control is hard to shake.” She grabbed a bucket and put it by his bedside. “Kijana said she vomited a lot in the first few hours, so I'm setting this here for you, okay Brandon?”

He nodded. “Yeah, doc.” He took a good look at Dr. Cho and grinned. "Anything you say, doc..."

“Do you remember what he did to you?” Kijana asked. “Did the stranger perform any rituals on you? Did he say any chants?”

Brandon shook his head. “He told me to sleep. Then, I woke up with a knife in my hand.”

Kijana’s fists clenched. “Did he touch you?”

He shrugged. “I couldn't tell you either way.”

Steve saw the glow on her hands and put his hand on the small of her back, pulling her away from the rage for a moment.  “Did you see his house?” she asked.

He nodded. “It looked like a tomb… like a mausoleum. He's obsessed with death. I remember there being a cemetery nearby. I think we were in Harlem, still. I recognized some restaurants.”

Kijana nodded. “He lives in the same place… Sick bastard lives in the same fuckin’ place.”

Brandon shook his head. “Sorry, I don’t have more.”

“It’s more than enough. Thank you, Brandon.” Steve told him.

Kijana stared at her little brother and for a moment, she swore she saw herself in his eyes. But it was like looking at a version of her from another life, so confused and guilt-ridden. She sat on the side of the table and caressed his face. 

“Is it alright if I have some alone time with my brother?” The others nodded and left them alone. Kijana bit her lip. “The next family reunion’s gonna be enchanting.”

“I tried to kill you, Kijana.” he said. “I came so close. I broke your damn ribs.”

“But you didn’t.” she told him. “Broken ribs are nothing new.”

He shook his head and ran his hands over his face. “Keej, I tried to _kill_ you! We’re supposed to protect each other, we’re supposed to be stronger than mind control.”

“No one’s stronger than that kind of mind control, let’s be realistic.” she said. She forced him to look at her and wiped the tears that began to stream from his eyes. “It’s beyond will. It warps your will to fit his, like a poison. It is not your fault, it is not something you did. I love you and I forgive you, and I swear to God, when I catch this man, I will make him wish he’d never even seen your face.”

Brandon nodded. “Thank you…”

“No problem.” She handed him a chocolate bar and he took it with a wide-eyed smile that made her feel like he’d be just fine after all. She ran her fingers through her hair and pulled out some candy of her own. “Steve wasn’t expecting you to fight back like that.”

He snorted. “Who the hell did he think raised me?”

Kijana threw her head back in laughter. “Momma raised you, I just made you an asshole.”

“But who made you an asshole?”

“Dorian.”

Brandon cleared his throat and shifted so that he was sitting up with his knees to his chest. “About Steve.” She raised an eyebrow. “Keej, you called him before anyone else. You trusted him to stop me without hurting me.”

“B, c’mon, not you…”

“Kijana, you _like_ him. I don’t care if that’s not something you want to hear, you fucking like this guy and he’s nice as fuck and likes you too. You need to do something about that.”

She sucked her teeth. “I am, I’m waiting for it to pass.”

“Keej-”

“Brandon, for fuck’s sake, he’s too good for me!” she told him. “Everything about him. He’s the perfect soldier, the perfect man. Upstanding morals, clean record. White American golden boy. I’m basically his polar opposite. We can be friends, and we are, but we could never go there, we could never cross that line. It wouldn’t work.”

He shook his head. “No one’s too good for you.” he told her. “You are kind, and funny, and gorgeous. You save lives because it’s a calling and you care so deeply about the people you call your friends. That’s, like, the definition of what Captain America is. He’d be lucky as hell to have you. Promise me you’ll try.”

“I can’t.”

He stuck out his pinky. “I didn’t get choked out by the guy for you not to date him, goddamnit.”

She looked at his pinky and rolled her eyes, pinky promising him. “But it won’t work out.”

He laid back and smiled. “We’ll see.”

* * *

 

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch.” Sam said as Kijana dropped her duffle on the couch in the apartment he’d been sharing with Steve. “You can sleep in my bed, I’m sleeping at the facility in case somethin’ happens with Brandon.”

Kijana furrowed her brows. “You don’t have to do that, Sam.”

He shrugged. “You’re my homegirl, and you’d do it for me.”

She smiled and hugged him tight. “I love you so much, Sam Wilson.” She turned to Steve. “Place to ourselves for the night, huh? Like a sleepover. I’ll paint your nails if you want me to.”

“No thanks.”

She scoffed and carried her bag to Sam’s room. “You don’t have to be such a dude all the time.”

“House rules: Don’t drink my orange juice and don’t delete my dvr.” Sam said. “Don’t touch my records. Drink lots of water.”

Kijana smiled. “Got it, but what if I only drink a little water?”

“I have a fridge stocked with water bottles to prevent that exact thing from happening, Keej. Don’t do this.”  Sam tossed his keys and in the air and caught them halfway. “I’ll see you two tomorrow. Have fun. Don’t kill each other.”

Steve crossed his arms. “No promises.” Kijana stuck her tongue out at him.

Sam left and Kijana rushed to the kitchen. “Steve, bruh. What’s in the fridge?” She opened the refrigerator and looked around. “Is that pizza?”

Steve stood behind her and reached past her waist, grabbing a bottle of water. “Yup. Help yourself.”

“You want anything?”

“I want however many slices of pizza you decide not to eat.” he replied. 

She sucked her teeth. “Sounds like a challenge.”

“You’re small, I doubt it.”

“Fuck you, I eat like a horse.” She threw the leftover pizza in the oven to reheat. “What’s on Sam’s dvr? He got Underground on there?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank God, I’m so fucking behind.”

Steve sighed. “Didn’t he say-”

“We’re not deleting anything, we’re _ borrowing _ it. We’re  _ borrowing _ his dvr.”

Steve wasn’t sure about this, but Kijana already had the remote in her hand and was on the dvr menu. “Okay…”

“Relax, Steve.” she said. She grinned at him. “You can relax with me.”

He nodded, and his cheeks turned red when she turned to face the tv. This was going to be a very, _very_ long night for one extremely lovesick Steve Rogers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> swiggity swooty, steve about to get some boooootttyyyy...


	15. Time to Breathe Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things get explicit and i still don't know if i'm good at smut after three long years of writing it  
> as with all my smut chapters, you can skip this and the plot wouldn't be affected, i'm just kinda filthy. it's who i am, it's what i do

About two hours and a trip to the store to get a giant tub of ice cream later, Kijana and Steve were back where they were starting to be long before Brandon and the kiss in the gym. Kijana was sat with the tub between her crossed legs while her and Steve dipped large spoons in and watched Underground. 

But they weren’t really watching, they were just talking with Underground running in the background. 

“When Dorian and I were kids we were enormous bullies.” Kijana said with a chuckle. “Like, the worst of the worst. We were horrible kids. We trashed peoples’ stoops, put worms in hair, tied shoelaces together. We were the evil doublemint twins.”

Steve shook his head. “Incredible.”

“Hey, we turned out alright.” she said. “We found good paths. I think we were just bored.”

“Yeah, I get that, but bullies are bullies.”

She dug a big scoop of ice cream out and stuffed the whole thing in her mouth. Steve couldn’t help but watch, it was amazing. “Listen, it all changed when Leon came around. He was kind of a runt, flamboyant and everything. People used to hardcore bully him, and Dorian and I would fuck them up. It was a full 360 from that point, and that’s when we started teaching each other how to fight.”

“How many fights have you gotten into?”

She giggled to herself. “One time Leon and I got into a fight in a Walmart parking lot because some racist yelled at a cashier.”

“Did you win?” She shot him a look. “Right, fighting is the Harrison family business.”

“Yes sir.”

“At least you’re good at what you do.”

She smiled. “Thanks Spangles, I appreciate that. I don’t think you praise me nearly as much as you should.”

He laughed. “Did you have to ruin it?”

“I’m just stating fact! I’m really great and you don’t tell me enough.” 

“Remind me to do that more.”

She rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t do it even if I reminded you a thousand times because you’re evil, Steve Rogers. Pure evil.”

He looked down. “I bet you actually thought I was at one point…” he said. “I can’t believe how much I didn’t like you when we first met.”

Kijana nodded. “Didn’t know you then, I know better now.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “I never thought we’d be friends, y’know.”

Steve let out a sigh. “I’m glad we thought wrong.” 

“That’s cheesy of you to say, but I am too. I can’t say I’ve had a friend who makes me  _ not _ want to drink myself into a coma and punch people all the time. That was a compliment.”

He laughed. “If you have to say ‘That was a compliment’ after a compliment, it wasn’t a real compliment.” 

“I mean, you make me want to be better. I don’t know how the fuck you do it, but you do, and it is the worst.”

Steve shrugged. “Maybe it’s not me.”

She giggled and punched him in the arm. “Way to throw away every fucking compliment I’m giving you right now, Jesus Christ.”

He rubbed his arm. “Okay but, wait, something's been bugging me forever now.”

“Can’t wait for this shit...”

“So you and Deadpool…”

She covered her face. “Oh my God.”

“Was that a serious relationship at all? What did you even talk about?”

She scooped some ice cream with his spoon. “Open your mouth.” He did as she said and she stuffed the spoon in his open mouth. “That should keep you quiet.” He tried not to laugh, but it was hard. “Listen, pussy magnet, do I go around asking you about past relationships? No, because I don’t care.”

He licked the last of the ice cream from the spoon. “I haven’t been on that many dates, Kijana. I don’t think ‘pussy magnet’ applies to me.”

“But have you gotten laid after any of the dates?”

Steve looked away. “Maybe…”

“After how many?”

“I don’t have to answer-”

She tapped his nose with her spoon. “Answer the question.”

“A few of them…”

She smiled. “I fucking knew it! I told Pietro you weren’t a virgin! What is your type? You into blondes?”

“You talked about this with Pietro?!”

“I talk about sex all the fucking time with Pietro, he’s pretty much the only person on the team who likes having long conversations about our sex lives! By the way, that boy is ridiculous, ask him about the meadow incident.”

“Kijana.”

"It was in a meadow with a girl named Meadow."

"I don't need to hear anymore."

“You know, studies show that humans have gotten more attractive since World War II, so you probably didn’t know what to do with yourself when you came out the ice, did you? Let me guess, first date after the defrost was a waitress.”

He paused. “She was, how did you kn-”

“Because men are predictable!” Kijana said. She set the tub of ice cream on the coffee table. “Wade’s the most unpredictable guy I ever dated, that’s why I liked him. You were at a close second until just now when I found out that you are, romantically, exactly the type of guy I thought you’d be. You want a cute little house with a dog and a smiley wife who watches as much baseball as you do.”

Steve looked at her for a second, then smirked. “Yeah, well, what can I say?”

“That you’re boring.” she replied. “At least your love life is.”

“Something in my life has to be boring.”

Kijana shook her head. “It doesn’t  _ have _ to be.” She cleared her throat. “You done with the ice cream?”

“Yeah.”

Kijana put the ice cream in the freezer and washed the spoons. “To answer your question, Wade and I could be serious, we just didn’t like to be. Both of our lives up to that point had been pretty shitty, so we escaped when we were together. Honestly, it’s kind of how I feel with you…” Her eyes widened once she realised what she was admitting. “And Sam and Wands and Piet, of course.”

She’d hoped Steve hadn’t heard, but he heard. 

“Remind me to get you guys some real dish soap because this shit smells nice and it makes your hands soft or whatever, but it’s weak and you deserve better.” She dried her hands and heard him walking towards the kitchen. “Actually, just bring me to Target with you next time. I promise you won’t regret it.”

She turned around and found that Steve was standing right behind her, looking down at her in a way he never had before. She was used to seeing him look like that in missions and in training, when he was focusing. But here he was only focused on her.

Kijana peered up at him. “Do I need to put a bell on you, Spangles?”

He didn’t move an inch. She swallowed but made no efforts to move herself. “Kijana, please, this is the first time we’ve been alone since that kiss at the gym, I know you’ve been thinking about it, too.”

She backed into the counter but tried to look cool and nonchalant. “It’s not the  _ first _ time. We were alone when we took Brandon to the facility, technically. I mean, he was there but he was knocked out. Besides, it seems like you’ve thought about it more than I have.” That was a big lie, not her biggest, but it was up there. “Why bring it up? I thought we agreed to forget it ever happened.”

“I can’t forget, Kijana.” he admitted. He put his hands on either side of her, staring deep into her eyes. “I’ve tried, and I was gonna leave it alone, but I don’t think I’m the only one who can’t forget and I’m not someone who can keep things in. Especially not with you.”

Kijana could feel her breathing pick up. Hearing him talk like that was doing something to her, and that was something she couldn’t deny. She couldn’t lie her way out of this.

“What were your plans, Spangles?” she asked. “Fucking me in the kitchen?”

He leaned in until his lips were inches from hers. “Where else am I gonna eat?”

In that moment, Kijana knew two things: The first being that she was incredibly wet, and the other being that Steve Rogers, American icon, war hero, super soldier, and Avenger, was about to ruin everything about her.

He kissed her, finally, and she let out a sigh of relief, wrapping her arms around his neck. He snaked an arm around her waist and put her on the countertop while the kiss deepened. She tugged on his shirt.

“Off.” she said.

He smiled against her lips and pulled her hands away. “We aren’t in a rush… But your shirt’s coming off.”

She laughed and pulled her shirt off. “Fucking sexist.”

“Talk all you want, you won’t be able to in a second.” He kissed her jaw to space between her ear and neck. “Bra has to come off too, I'm afraid.”

She closed her eyes as he kissed her neck, but he wasn't being rough enough for her liking. “Earn it.”

He held her by the back of her head and started sucking and biting the skin of her neck. She didn't expect it, but she whimpered helplessly as pain and pleasure hit her system like a drug. She quickly undid her bra and threw it to the ground. 

“There we go…” He pulled away and looked at her bare chest, licking his lips once he locked eyes on her breasts, so perfect, just as he'd imagined they were.

One hand held her waist while the other kneaded her breast in his hand, she moaned and his lips crashed back onto her's. His thumb circled her hardening nipple and the noises she made got higher pitched. It drove Steve crazy. If he weren't so hell-bent on dragging this out, he would've buried himself inside her right then and there, but he reminded himself that the payoff would be better if he took his time. 

He switched hands, repeating his actions. She was growing tired of all the teasing and used one of her hands to rub him over his pants. He let out a disapproving groan, but she didn't stop.

He pulled her hand away and looked into her eyes. She could barely see any beautiful blue left, only darkness. 

“Someone’s eager.” he said. 

“Shut the fuck up.”

“How long have you waited to do this?”

“I don't have to answer that.”

He nodded. “You're right, I'll figure it out for myself.”

He started undoing her jeans as quickly as he could, sliding them off easily with his strength. They never broke eye contact. Not even when Steve's hand finally met her wetness. 

“Funny, with all that shit-talking you were doing I thought you’d be a little less wet for me, Kijana.” 

“Words cannot describe how much I hate you right now.”

“Sure.” He started rubbing her through her panties and it took everything for Kijana not to grind towards his hand. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. “Forgive me for not telling you how beautiful you are before.”

She bit down on her bottom lip and gripped the side of the counter. He sped up his fingers trying to get her to respond to him, but she was good. She could feel her body caving in but she put on a good poker face. “You’re forgiven.” She cleared her throat. “You said something about eating?”

Steve kissed her and slid off her panties. He pulled her hips forward and she could feel his bulge against her most sensitive point. She let out a moan, she couldn’t help herself. He laughed against her skin and kissed down her throat and between her breasts. She tangled her fingers in his hair as he went lower and lower. 

Once he was down on his knees, she looked down at him. He pressed kisses to her thighs and she smiled. “You look good down there.” He winked at her in response.

Steve had only done this a few times to a few girls but he was a strategist. He was going to try things to get the results he wanted. That's why, against what most men would think to do, he started at her clit.

She didn't expect it at all, and the moan she released was so loud it echoed off the walls. That got her to move her hips forward. 

Steve moved his tongue to her entrance. He teased her by circling around it, dipping his tongue in for only seconds before teasing her again. A fist clamped tightly around his hair. 

“You’re so evil, come on!” He lapped at her with his tongue and she let out another desperate whine when she felt his fingers start to play with her. “Come the fuck on!”

Steve held back a laugh and pressed two fingers into her. His tongue kept moving as his fingers stretched her out. At this point, any chance of holding herself together was lost.

He started pumping his fingers in and out, his tongue now refusing to touch her clit again. She rolled her hips against his face, trying to get him to go deeper, to go faster. He started giving her what she wanted, increasing his pace, keeping his eyes on her face as she gave into him. 

Steve knew he’d found her most sensitive spot when she let out the closest thing to a scream that he’d heard from her yet. Her face turned red and she looked down only to see his eyebrow raised.

“Oh fuck…” Steve curled his fingers and did a ‘come hither’ motion against that spot and her breath got caught in her throat. Her grip on his hair tightened. “Right there, right there, right there!”

Kijana could feel her climax building, and it was big. He flicked her clit and continued working her with his fingers. She was so close, it was getting hard for her to breathe. 

She threw her head back. “Yes, you fucking asshole!”

She let out a cry and came around his fingers, he wouldn’t stop moving until she did. He stood up and kissed her, slowing his movement. She could taste her juices on his tongue. He pulled his fingers out and sucked on them.

While she was still coming down from her haze, she smirked at him. “We ate a lot tonight, we should get some exercise.”

“Great idea.” He picked her up and started carrying her to his room. “Did you call me an asshole?”

She smiled. “It’s a term of endearment for me.” she told him. “What do you want me to call you? Captain Rogers?”

“Oh, now you’re really gonna get it.” 

He practically kicked the door open and threw her on the bed. She tried to watch him get undressed but she got a little distracted by the record player in the corner behind him. 

“Is that, like, from the forties?” she asked. She climbed out of bed and walked to it, inspecting it further. 

He was unbuckling his jeans and turned around. “Yeah, Rhodey got it for my birthday.”

“Rhodey’s the sweetest…” She gasped. “Marvin Gaye?! Is this Sam’s?”

“No, it’s mine, Sam has his own.”

She set the needle down on the Marvin Gaye record and closed her eyes. “It sounds so good.” She felt his arms wrap around her waist. His hard member pressed against her ass and she arched her back into his chest. “How do you want me, Captain Rogers?”

“Glad you asked, come with me.” 

She rolled her eyes and turned around. Steve took her hand and sat on the bed. She raised an eyebrow. “You’re letting me top?”

“For now.”

She straddled his lap and used her powers to turn the music up a little and dim the lights. She leaned down and started kissing his neck, scraping her teeth against his skin. He held on to her waist and groaned as she left dark marks on his neck and shoulders and chest. 

“Where’s all this blood coming from?” she asked. “Didn’t picture you being a blusher, are you Irish?” 

“Is it important?”

“Yeah, you’re right.” She sat up and took a look at him. His body was immaculate, beautiful. He was looking at her like he was thinking the same thing. “Hold on a sec. Do you have condoms?” He nodded and reached into his bedside table, grabbing one. She bit it open and started turning around. 

“No, wait, I don’t wanna… I shouldn’t…” She rolled the condom on his length started stroking him to start. He swallowed hard, worried about coming too quickly. “You really don’t have to-”

She took him in her mouth and he took a sharp breath. She pulled off and stroked him again before taking more of his length in her mouth, swirling her tongue around his shaft.

“Shit, Kijana…”

She went as far as she could go, he hit the back of her throat. She hollowed her cheeks and he whimpered. She started bobbing her head and he lifted his hips, something she didn’t expect. 

“Fuck, sorry…”

She didn’t respond, she only went faster, giving him permission to move as he pleased. She just loved the sounds he made. He rubbed her back and her ass while she gave him head.

Steve scraped his teeth against his bottom lip. “If you keep doing that, I’ll come in your mouth.” His hands gripped her hips. “I bet it feels even better inside of you.”

She hummed and pulled off. “Wanna find out?”

Steve sat up and kissed down her spine. “I’m about to.” 

He lifted her and turned her around, with her legs on either side of him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him as deeply as she could. She felt him at her entrance and lowered herself down, both of them letting out loud moans. 

They fit together perfectly. Steve gripped the back of her neck and they sat like that for a moment, just still. Kijana smiled and kissed all over his face, then she started moving. 

She rolled her hips on him, slowly at first, getting used to feeling of him being inside of her. It’d been awhile since she’d done this with anyone, doing it with a super soldier only added to the strangeness. He filled her to the brim, and that was enough to make her vocal again.

She sped up and he sped up with her, his hands travelling up and down her back, feeling her muscles move as they moved. He looked up at her, her face flushed and glistening with sweat, her eyes half-lidded, her lips parted. He’d never seen anyone so gorgeous. 

“Oh, Steve…”

“Yeah, Keej, fuck…”

They got a quick rhythm going. Steve held her tighter to his body, he could feel her heartbeat racing. It’d been the longest time since he’d felt so alive, the longest time since she’d felt so adored.

He stopped moving for a moment and had her on her back. They adjusted to the change in positions, Kijana pulling her thighs further apart, Steve putting his hands on either side of her head. He started thrusting into her again, quickly regaining their speed, and going deeper, going harder. He held her hips up so that his pelvis rubbed against her clit and his thrusts hit just the right point. 

They were sweating as much as they sweated on missions, making enough noise to render several noise complaints. His headboard was hitting the wall and their skin made an obscene slapping noise as he gave her every inch of him. He gave her all of his energy. 

She could feel herself getting close again, but she didn’t have the words to say so. Her brain wasn’t forming sentences. 

“Steve…” She grabbed his face and forced him to look at her. “Just like that… Just like that, loverboy.”

He was panting and trying to keep himself together, but his release was building, too. “You gonna come?”

She nodded. “Fuck yeah…”

She held his face as he pounded into her, her other hand dragging against his back, leaving marks that would only heal in an hour. “That’s my girl, that’s my best girl…”

Her mouth fell open as she felt herself fall over the edge, calling his name. It was like music to his ears. He came quickly after her, thrusts becoming short and erratic, he practically growled out something that she only assumed was her name mixed with “fuck”.

When he was done, she kissed him. Her teeth tugged on his bottom lip and she squeezed his ass.

“Damn, Rogers.” she said. “You almost made me forget who I was for a second.”

He laughed, tucking her hair behind her ear. “I knew things would get crazy with you around but I always thought you’d just drive _ me _ crazy.”

She punched him in the arm. “How do you know I haven’t, I mean you  _ did  _ just have sex with me. That’s crazy as it gets for you, right?”

Steve looked at her with a gentle adoration she wasn’t used to. “It’s funny, I felt completely in my right mind that whole time.”

She looked away. “As far as first dates go, this was a solid six out of ten.”

He pulled out and raised an eyebrow. “Only six?”

“The sex was an eleven, the rest of the night brings it down to a six or an eight at best.”

“I’ll take you on a real date, I’ll earn that ten.”

Kijana rolled her eyes. “Spangles, I’ve seen your apartment, where are you taking me?” He started cracking up and that made her laugh. “I’m serious, you and Sam share rent and this place is still approximately an inch larger than mine on all sides. Where are we going? Red Lobster. Baby, I am not Beyonce.”

Steve pulled her into his arms and started tickling her. “You wanna stop talking?”

She shook her head and tried wiggling away from him. “Are we gonna play stickball on this ten date? That’s what y’all did in the forties, right? Y’all played stickball ‘cause you couldn’t afford bats? Y’all used garbage can lids as sleds? Let me go!”

“No!”

“You have to throw away the condom eventually, old man!” She turned around and kissed him and he immediately stopped tickling her. She used that moment to run out the room. “You gotta stop fallin’ for that one, Steve!”

“Where are you going?!”

“To pee!” she shouted back. “And check ‘Fucked Captain America’ off the mental bucket list I don’t have.”


	16. A Good Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter...

Kijana’s eyes fluttered open, she found herself on Steve's chest. It moved slowly as he took breaths in his sleep. He looked so beautiful. So covered in peace. He was all hers, and she couldn’t believe it.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and he groaned, suddenly waking, shifting to wrap his arms around her and pull her close to his chest. She felt bad for waking him up, but the sound of his voice made it feel a little better. “Mornin’.”

“Good morning, Spangles.” She giggled. “How did we end up in the bed after round two?”

Steve moved her hair from her face. “I carried you.”

“I don’t remember that part at all.”

“You were a little out of it.”

“I’d imagine so.” 

She remembered round two vividly because it happened on the wall in the hallway. They could barely keep their hands to themselves after round one, Kijana got a cup of water and Steve met her halfway. She had quite the bruise on her thigh from him holding her so tight. She could get used to those kinds of bruises, especially coming from Steve.

“I think wall sex might be your thing, sweetheart. You keep fucking me like that and I might stop calling you Spangles.”

“I don’t mind it anymore.” He smiled and kissed her on the lips. It was a much more chaste kiss than the earlier ones. It felt like a confirmation of this being more than a one night stand. 

He couldn’t get over how pretty her eyes were in the morning light. They were practically radiating, taking in all the light they could find and making themselves brighter. All he wanted to do was draw a thousand pictures of her. 

“I shouldn't have waited so long to do that.” he said. “I’ve been wanting to for a while.”

Kijana shook her head. “It was messy and random, but that's us. I don't remember the last time missionary actually felt like something other than unoriginality.”

“Glad I got that reaction.”

She kissed his neck and chest. “I don't know how into labels you are but I feel like boyfriend is a good word to describe you. What do you think? We could go to dinner. We could go bowling, I love bowling. What are your opinions on karaoke?” 

“You askin’ me to go steady, Harrison?”

“Don’t make this more embarrassingly high school than it already is.” She told him. “No one says ‘going steady anymore’.”

“I'd love to be your boyfriend on one condition.”

She sighed, preparing for the worst. “Okay…”

“You tell me everything from now on.” he said. “I mean everything. Good, bad, ugly. Tell me about your nightmares, tell me how your day went, tell me when you’re scared.”

Kijana ran her fingers through his hair. “Is this another trust thing?”

He shook his head and kissed her forehead. “I trust you more than enough, this is about me taking care of you.”

“You don’t have to-”

“I know, I know…” He chuckled. “Trust me,  _ I know _ . But I want to, okay? I wanna be the person who takes care of you for once. You’re always taking care of everyone else. You take care of your brothers, you take care of the team. You can’t expect to do all that alone and then take care of yourself alone.”

“Pot calling the kettle black, I’ve never seen you take a personal day. You wouldn’t even stop to let me pull a knife outta you.” He just stared at her, because she was right, as always. “We’ll take care of each other, how about that?”

“Agreed.” he said. “I want it in writing because I know the second something happens you’ll be shouting ‘I can handle myself’ and pushing me away.”

She squeezed his cheek. “You get in my pants  _ once _ and you think you know me, huh?”

He shook his head and held the palm of her hand to his lips. “The only thing I know is that you are too beautiful and I want breakfast.”

“Euphemism or actual food?”

He chuckled. “Which do you want first?”

She grinned from ear to ear. “Euphemism, definitely.”

“Sure thing, sweetheart.” He pushed her on her back, kissing his way down until his head disappeared under the covers. 

* * *

 

After quite the eventful morning including a surprisingly innocent shower, Kijana sat at the kitchen counter with a glass of sweet tea while Steve whipped up some pancake batter. She thought about everything this new relationship would bring and was having a hard time coming up with negatives, which surprised her. Maybe her brothers and Wade were right, maybe this is exactly what she needed.

“Waffles or pancakes?” Steve asked. 

Kijana bit her lip. “That ass.”

“Watch it, Harrison.”

“Oh, I’m watching it.” He glared at her and she giggled. “Waffles. Please tell me you’re not a pancakes guy.”

“And if I am?”

“Then that was the shortest relationship I’ve ever been in.”

He laughed. “Less than twenty-four hours and I’m fucking up already. Never was good with pretty girls.”

“Shut up, little chicken leg Steve probably had dames left and right.”

“Yeah, he had them laughing at him.”

“Aww, baby…”

“I regret telling you that already.”

She smiled. “I bet if they saw you now, they’d die.” she said. “Not because you’re sexy, but because they’re like a million years old and your muscles would overwhelm them.”

“Your muscles aren’t too bad yourself.”

Kijana blushed and flexed her biceps. “Yeah, I’m pretty hot.” Her phone buzzed and she opened the text from Sam. “Hey, babe, how would you feel about my brothers being here in ten minutes?”

“Are your brothers gonna be here in ten minutes?”

“They are.”

Steve grinned and poured batter on the waffle iron. “I’m not making everybody pancakes.”

“I will pass the message onto Sam.” She sent the text and gasped when she suddenly got an idea. A classically Kijana idea. “You got a Sharpie?”

“Uh-huh.” He tossed it to her.

“Great. Got a Post-It note?” 

“Yup.” He tossed the stack of Post-Its to her.

“Cool.” She stood up and walked over to him, writing ‘Property of Kijana <3’ on a Post-It note and sticking it on his chest where his heart was. “Hell yeah.”

He smirked. “Possessive much?”

“Only when something is mine.”

Steve started making pancakes and Kijana watched the waffle iron. “Haven’t you marked me enough?”

“It healed, Steve! Your stupid skin is so unfair to my need to brand my boyfriends. It’s partially a bragging right, like, look at this thing I did.”

“If anyone should be bragging it’s me.”

“You’re right, but I still wanna leave hickeys all over you and the universe is refusing to adhere to my desires. Do you know how that feels, Steve?”

“Sort of, because your skin heals, too.”

She rolled her eyes. “But not as fast as yours. I could still faintly see my hickeys this morning.”

“Really?” He flipped his finished pancake onto a plate and handed her a plate for her waffle which she pulled out with her fingers, hissing as it burned her and then immediately began to heal. “Didn’t know that.”

They sat together at the table and Kijana clocked the look on Steve’s face. “I feel like I just signed up to get a plethora of hickeys.”

“You did, and you will. As soon as we’re alone again, I’ll make good on that promise.”

Kijana could barely hold in her excitement. “Damn, baby…”

The door finally opened and Sam walked in with the Harrison boys walking closely behind with arms full of groceries. They all greeted Kijana and Steve before carrying the bags into the kitchen to unload. Sam eyed their breakfast.

“None for us, huh?”

“Nein.” Kijana said. “Steve’s lucky I let him out of bed to make breakfast at all.” She winked at him.

That statement must have gone over everyone’s heads, because no one said a word about it. The conversation went on without so much as a pause to acknowledge it. The brothers took turns kissing their sister on the cheek. 

“Daniela’s watching Sunshine, Keej.” Leon told her. Kijana sighed with relief. “Sam says us and the Avengers need to have a cookout. I wholeheartedly agree.”

“That would be great!” she said. “Dorian’s great on the grill.”

Dorian nodded. “You know I be killin’ the grill, sis!”

She gasped. “Holy shit, Tyler, you haven’t met Steve yet!”

Tyler shrugged. “We’ve probably met in another dimension.”

“Great first impression. Anyway, this is my weird little brother, Tyler. Tyler, this is Steve.”

“Good to meet you, man.” Tyler said. “Keej talks shit about you often.”

Steve nodded and shook his hand. “I know.” He turned to Brandon. “How’re you feeling?”

Brandon looked at him and then looked at Kijana. “I’ve been worse...” Kijana could see the light switch flicker on in his eyes. Clearly her bed comment hadn’t completely escaped everyone. “Wait, hold the shit, Keej, what did you mean by ‘Steve’s lucky I let him out of bed’?”

Leon froze. “When the fuck she say that shit?”

“When we first came in! She said ‘Steve’s lucky I let him out of bed to make breakfast at all’.”

“I meant that Steven is  _ very  _ lucky I let him out of bed because he’s a human space heater and his arms make great pillows.”

Dorian bent over and read the Post-It on Steve’s chest, then turned to his sister. He put his hands on his hips and shook his head. “Oh bitch, you really did it.”

Kijana scoffed. This was unbelievable, but typical of Dorian. “Y’all been telling me to since we first met!”

“We never thought you actually would!” Dorian shouted.

Leon sucked his teeth. “Speak for yourself.”

Sam patted Steve on the shoulder. “Nice one.”

Kijana put her face in her hands. “I’m in a room full of men.”

Dorian pulled up a chair and sat next to Kijana with his arms folded. “I can’t believe I wasn’t consulted. This is the wedding all over again.”

“This is nothing like the wedding!”

“Yeah, you’re sober this time!”

She sighed. “Dorian…”

“Yes, sis?”

“I’m gonna date Steve from now on, is that cool?”

“Yes, thank you for consulting me.” He pointed to Steve. “Watch your back or I’ll watch it for you.”

Brandon rolled his eyes. “He’s not gonna hurt her, fuck off.”

“Now we really gotta have a cookout!” Leon said. “I’m in charge of the music.”

“If we’re having a cookout, can Dr. Cho come?” Brandon asked. Kijana raised an eyebrow. Her little brother looked away. “Asking for a friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... Because the next won't be much fun...


	17. Headache

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the delay, babies. i'm workin' on a thing or two...

The next two days were quiet, eerily so. Everyone kept a close eye on Brandon, Kijana and Steve spent most of their time together, there was a jarring lack of missions. It was so quiet that the Avengers actually resorted to playing Cards Against Humanity on the floor of the common area. A game that Kijana had pretty much mastered.

“The trick is not to be too weird with it, that puts you at risk of seeming too abstract.” She explained after four victorious rounds in a row. “But you have to appeal to comedic sensibilities of the card czar. You gotta know your audience.”

Pietro mocked her and she tossed a card at his head. “Hey, Steve, get your girl!”

“Shut up, Piet!”

Steve laughed. “You _did_ mock her, man.”

Kijana kissed him on the cheek. The rest of the gang pretended to gag. “Okay, fuck all of you in the ear with a bendy straw because you don’t believe in affection.”

Brandon, the current card czar, looked at everyone’s white cards and stroked his chin. Since he’d been staying in the tower for a few days, the rest of the team had pretty much adopted him as their son. Complete with Pietro sneaking him candy, Sam calling him ‘Lil Man’, Natasha offering to teach him Russian, and him making Dr. Cho a mixtape. Kijana found it _adorable_.

“I have to say… ‘And the Academy Award for the female orgasm goes to your face’ won it for me.” Brandon finally said.

Kijana squealed and took the black card. “Try to keep up.”

“Could you not bring your bedroom life to our fun card game?” Natasha asked.

She shook her head. “Too good of an opportunity.”

Brandon handed the card czar hat over to Rhodey who put down a black card that said “Trust me, I’m ______”. While the others laughed at their white cards, Steve laid his head in Kijana’s lap and she smiled down at him before sticking her finger close to his nose. He honest to God giggled and it was so cute that it only made her do it again.

“Are you two done?” Sam asked.

Kijana sucked her teeth. “We could be worse! When my mom got re-married she would parade that fuckin’ ring around as if we ain't already know.” she said. “Dorian and were so tired of it that we tried to hide it and sell it to this guy who sold jewelry and bootleg tapes out his van.”

Brandon shook his head. “Dorian told me y'all were excited.”

She giggled. “Dorian told you that to spare your feelings because we thought two kids was more than enough and our parents were going at it like rabbits so we knew there was a third coming.” Brandon's jaw dropped. “The point is, now I get that she wasn't rubbing it in our faces, she was just happy. We should've wanted her to be happy.”

“You were kids.” Wanda told her. “Pietro and I did worse things when we were kids. Mostly Pietro…”

Pietro shook his head. “I’m always to blame.”

“Dorian and I low-key had plans to sell Leon off when he was born.”

“Who hasn't tried to sell their brother?” Wanda asked.

Pietro gasped. “I'm learning so much about you tonight.”

“Speaking of dysfunctional brothers, I think Thor would really like you, Keej.” Sam said. “We gotta get him over here to meet you.”

Rhodey cleared his throat.  “Who put down 'Obama’s Black side'?”

Brandon raised his hand and Rhodey handed him the black card. “Ha! Fight me, Keej!”

“The student becomes the master. By the way, B, we never tried selling you.”

“Good.”

“But Tyler did try to sacrifice you to an imaginary frog king by pushing you down the lazy river at an amusement park when you were two, and we only stepped in once we realized the danger.”

“Why would you ruin the moment we were having?”

Steve laughed. “She does that. I tried kissing her this morning and she slapped my arm and said 'Judith _has_ to be Shane's baby!’ before running off.”

“I was thinking about it in the shower and the math just makes sense.”

Sam laughed. “You had to do math for that?”

* * *

 

Kijana curled up next to Steve in his bed in the facility, Sam was too drunk to drive them home. She felt so warm and safe in the arms of her Prince Charming.

“This is definitely the most functional relationship I've ever been in.”

Steve let out a low chuckle, clearly beginning to feel sleep take him. “This is pretty much the longest relationship I've been in.”

“That's not true, what about your marriage to the American public?”

“Kijana, go to sleep.”

“Who's strong and brave, here to save the American way?”

He put his hand over her mouth and shushed her but she kept singing. “Don't.”

She licked his hand but he didn't take it off. “Censorship is anti-American!”

He took his hand away. “So’s Captain America kicking his girlfriend out of bed.”

“I'm curious, do I get added to your Wikipedia page?” she asked. “Do I get the coveted 'Personal Life’ spot?”

“Not if you don't go to sleep.”

“Fine, but I want my sentence to say 'Was lucky to have done the do with the superhero and supermodel known as Aja’.”

“Hey, it wouldn't be a lie.”

There was a pause and Steve thought she’d drifted off to sleep when she whispered, “I'm the one that added 'Big Dick Rick' to your list of aliases on Wikipedia.” He sat up. “Shit, I thought you were sleep!”

“I blamed Sam for that!”

“Yeah, he told me to do it but it was my idea. Now I can sleep peacefully.”

Steve kissed her on her cheek. “You’re the worst, goodnight.”

“G’night, babe.”

Kijana closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. Then she felt herself literally drifting, as if she were drifting out to sea. She could feel her body rocking on the waves. The warmth of her boyfriend was lost and distant. Wherever she was now, she was cold, surrounded by water, surrounded by silence.

She opened her eyes and found herself floating in some murky, warped version of the Hudson River on her mattress. All the lights in the skyline were flickering, the night sky was strange shade of deep grey. This wasn’t good, she’d been here only once before.

“No… I have to wake myself up…”

She pinched and scratched at her skin frantically. She splashed the water on her face but the temperature didn’t shock her. She tried dipping her entire face underneath the surface, but when she lifted herself back up to breathe, she was face to face with the man she hated most in this world. His glowing violet eyes were the only color she could find in the grey landscape.

“Leave me alone.” she said. “Why won’t you leave me alone?!”

“And have some other person running around with powers that I gave her, serving the Avengers? … Well, now I guess you’re really _serving_ the Avengers. You’re on your knees for a man who wears the flag of a country that has chewed you up and spit you out.”

“I li-”

“You like the man and not the costume, how cute.”

She hit herself on the head. “Get out of my head!”

“Oh Kijana, I'm a tumor." He told her. "I'm planted inside of every inch of you. You’ll have to kill me to get me out, and I think we both know that you can’t do that, my dear.”

“I can’t kill _for_ you, but I can definitely fucking kill you now.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“How about a test of your will?” he asked. “If you pass this test, you and your spandex-clad friends can meet me on the rooftop of my old building in Harlem and you can do whatever it is you need to do.”

She raised an eyebrow. “If I fail?”

“You’ll see.”

She took a deep breath. “Bring it on.”

The old man laughed. “I’m glad you’re on board, beautiful…” He gripped her by the throat. “Now, kill Steve.”

Her eyes widened and she shook her head but, when he let her go, she was suddenly awake and on top of Steve. Her hands tightened around his throat.

Steve looked up at her. “Keej?!”

“Don’t freak out, just… let me do this…”

“Are you trying to _choke_ me?!”

“Actually I’m trying not to, I’ll explain in a bit!” She pushed the command to the back of her mind long enough to pull herself off of him. There was a sudden pain in her head, it felt like a gunshot. “You need to run.”

He noticed that her eyes were glowing. “Kijana, I’m not going anywhere, I have to help you.”

“And if you can’t, you’ll die!”

“I don’t care.” He grabbed her face. “He can’t control you anymore, you don’t want to kill me. You won’t.”

The glow began to fade from her eyes but then it appeared again, and she let out a blood-curdling scream before pushing Steve back. “I want him… out of my mind…” She grabbed her dagger from the dresser and started walking towards Steve.

“Focus, Kijana, focus.” She stood over him and held the dagger vertical to his heart. He started crawling away. “Focus!”

Brandon and Sam ran down the hall and started pounding on the door. “Keej!”

She stared at the door and thought about her brother. Her brother’s smile. Her brother’s laugh. The pain returned twice as excruciating, she grabbed her head and screamed. Steve took the dagger and threw it to the side before running to the door.

“He got to her head again somehow, did this happen to you?” He asked Brandon.

Brandon shook his head. “But he only had me under his control for a day.”

She fell to the ground and tried to push him back. It hurt so badly that she was trembling. “I don’t want to kill Steve… I don’t want to kill Steve… I don’t want to kill Steve…” she hissed. “I can still see his face. I can still hear his voice. A thousand of him at once.”

“You can fight it,” Sam said. “It’s like exorcising a demon.”

She screamed again, making the lights flicker in the room. She pressed her forehead to the ground and tried to breathe, tried to focus. She heard Steve pulling her through but it sounded so distant, like a light in a tunnel.

The sound in her head  turned off and she stood up, running towards Steve as fast as she could. She had him pinned to the wall, her arm across his throat. He tried pushing her off, the terrified look on her face killed him.

“Fight it!”

Now it wasn’t just Steve’s voice approaching her in the tunnel. It was Sam’s, it was Wade’s, it was her teammates’, it was her mom’s, and her brothers’. She could fight this. She could do it.

She ripped her arm away from his throat and turned her fist towards the wall, punching until her fists were bruised and bloodied and there was a sizable hole in the drywall. She couldn’t feel the stranger’s influence anymore. She couldn’t feel any trace of him. Not a single memory, not a single nightmare. She was free.

She fell to the ground and tried to catch her breath. Brandon, Steve, and Sam rushed to help her back into the bedroom and lay her down. She looked pale and dehydrated. Brandon ran to get her some water.

She turned to Sam and smiled weakly. “I told Steve about ‘Big Dick Rick’.”

Steve pressed about a million kisses to her face and Sam squeezed her hand. “It’s still so damn funny.”

Brandon came back with the water and Kijana struggled to sit upright. Steve helped her, positioning a pillow behind her back. “On the bright side, that’s behind me.”

“You don’t feel him at all?” Brandon asked.

She shook her head and smiled. “I don’t even remember the spells anymore. I don’t remember the nightmares.” She sighed. “But there’s one thing left for me to do, and I’ll need y’all to help me.”

“Say the word.” Steve said.

She turned to him. “Help me kill the fucker.”


	18. Leftover Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is teensy weensy, but the next one is much longer.  
> to read the first chapter of my new fic and help me pick a title, go HERE: http://captainafroelf.tumblr.com/post/147289178865/chapter-one-of-my-untitled-new-buckyofc-fic

Kijana’s heart was pretty much set on killing the old man who’d been tormenting her and her loved ones for years. She couldn’t be convinced to do anything but kill him. His death would prevent more tragedy, more victims like her. As soon as she’d woken up and grabbed breakfast she was already thinking of attack plans. Steve was sitting with her, listening and staying noticeably silent.

“The most important thing is that we silence him.” she said. “His mouth is his most dangerous weapon, he’s just a glorified Harry Potter villain without his ability to speak. When he lost his voice with me he’d always drink this weird thing to instantly bring it back, it wouldn’t even give me time to think of an escape plan.”

Steve picked at his scrambled eggs and nodded, but it was rather noncommittal. “So we aim for his mouth?”

“We could cut out his tongue.”

Steve’s eyes widened. “And you would be the one cutting out his tongue? Are you sure about that?”

“Well, yeah, _you_ wouldn’t.”

He sighed. “Keej, we gotta talk about this.”

Knowing she was about to get a classic Steve morality speech, she readied herself. “We are currently talking about it.”

“I mean killing him.”

“It’s not up for discussion, Stevie.”

“Then can we talk about you?” he asked. “Kijana, I don’t care if he dies, he hurt you, he has to face justice somehow and it doesn’t seem like he’d stay in jail cell for the rest of his life. I care about what happens to you if he dies the way you want him to.”

She shrugged and took another bite. “The punishment will fit the crime.”

“Yeah, but you’ve never killed before. I don’t know how you’ll handle that, sweetheart.”

“I’m not a violence virgin, in fact I’m far from it, I think I can handle some bloodshed. Especially when it’s righteous.”

She was bluffing, and Steve could tell. He leaned forward and looked into her eyes. “Bloodshed is one thing, _killing someone_ is an entirely different thing. Killing someone changes you.”

She sucked her teeth. “He’s not someone, he’s a monster. He’s a kidnapper and a rapist and a evil piece of shit and all I wanna do-” She stabbed her eggs with her fork and twisted it around. “Is dig my fucking dagger into his dick until he bleeds out. The memories aren’t even there anymore, it’s just leftover anger.”

“That anger might end up hurting you. There’s always a recoil.” he told her. “I don’t want this to be the thing that breaks you, Keej. I don’t want you to change.”

She paused. She hated him right now for being so endearing, for caring so much and trying to keep her from her brutal Tarantino-esque revenge. “You’re just saying that because you like me.”

He chuckled. “Can’t deny that, I _do_ really like you. But I’m serious, Kijana. If we’re doing this, I don’t want you thinking you have to do it alone and I don’t want you doing something that might end up making you feel guilty or casts you in a bad light.”

She took a deep breath and looked away from him. Steve could tell by the way she played with her food that she was at least considering what he'd said, and that was more than enough for him. “Damn Rogers, you are whipped. She’s a lucky girl.”

He smiled. “I’m a luckier guy.”

She smirked. “What’s your favorite thing about her besides her perfect booty?”

“She kicks my ass.” he replied. She laughed. “You really do, you kick my ass! Not just physically but… Since becoming what I am now, I’ve rarely met someone who is willing to argue with me like you do.”

“Sounds like you needed the ass kicking.”

“I guess I did.” Steve got up to clean his dishes. “With that being said, we do need to come up with some sort of plan.”

“He’s expecting me to come alone and unprepared, that’s how he found me. He doesn’t know me anymore.”

“What would he least expect?”

She thought about it. “I could get Wanda to be there when we get him.” she said. “She'll shut me down if I go too far.”

Steve nodded. “That's a good idea. Brandon wants to call in your brothers.”

“Of course he does. But, If he sees them, it could turn into chaos. I doubt that he'll die quietly.”

Her phone started ringing. Wade, of all the people who could've called her right now, was calling her.

“Did my brother mention calling an ex?” Steve shook his head. “That's what I thought.”

She answered the phone, there were explosions and shots happening in the background. She assumed Wade butt-dialed her, but no, he was really intentionally calling her in the midst of a stand-off somewhere.

“Why?”

He laughed. “You know never to ask me that, Keej. Question, have you and Cap gotten together yet?”

The sound of an automatic rifle firing in the distance made her jump. “Where you at?”

“It doesn't matter, I started thinking about you and I wanted an update.”

She sighed. “Yes, we have.”

Wade clapped. “Good! You deserve something nice. You’re the kind of woman Mary J Blige would dedicate a song to.”

“That’s the nicest thing you ever said to me. Anyway, are you getting shot at right now?”

Wade laughed, almost hysterically. “Yes, Keej, of course I'm getting shot at right now, but they keep missing! I'm hiding behind a dumpster wearing a fuckin' red suit, you’d think they'd hit me by now but I guess we have to fill the scene out someh-FUCK!”

“What?!”

He started coughing and fired a few rounds at whoever it was he’d been fighting this whole time. “Totally got shot in the neck! It’s like one fuckin’ David Berkowitz in a sea of stormtroopers!”

She hissed. “Yeah, you need to call back later, we'll grab Chinese this weekend. Okay?”

“Yeah, of course, Apple Bottom jeans. I’m always happy to meet up with you.” he said. “I’m gonna get you a ‘Dating Captain America’ present. You still like teddy bears, right?”

“I do. I love you, Wade.”

“Love you more, gotta go wreck some shit. Shouldn't you be defacing federal property? Get it? Because you're sitting on Captain America’s face? Are you sitting on his face right now?”

“No, Wade.”

“Go sit on the man's face, Keej! Gosh! _Do it for us._ ”

Wade hung up and Steve turned to Kijana. “What’d he want?”

She grinned. “He wants me to sit on your face.”

“Let’s at least come up with a solid plan first.” he said. “So we’ll need Wanda to calm you down, right?”

The key to defeating the old man was to silence him. Anything they came up with had to revolve around him being muted somehow. He was dangerous without his voice, but he couldn’t control anyone. Kijana got an idea, a potentially stupid one that she couldn’t verify had any chance of working, but an idea nonetheless.

“We might need Wanda for one other thing…”


	19. Aim For The Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there's two chapters left and that's freaking me out

When dawn fell on the day Kijana thought would never come, she was ready. She'd asked Brandon, Steve, Sam, and Wanda go come with her and she'd suited up. All day she'd been hitting the punching bag, trying to release that anger that could get her in trouble. As an extra touch, she'd called her parents earlier, just in case she didn't make it out. Even if she didn't, she knew he wouldn't either.

She found herself feeling rather retrospective. This was a day years in the making. The end of a long, dark period for her. She wasn’t sure how ready she was for the next era of her life to begin. She’d become so comfortable with her fear, she hadn’t considered living without it.

Sam found her sitting by a window, brows knitted together like she was born that way. He sat next to her and tried thinking of something to say. He decided to start softly. “Steve doesn't want me telling you this, but I thought your torture plan was solid.”

She giggled. “I did too, but everything's complicated. I wish my life could be just slightly less complicated.”

“I like how complicated you are.” he told her. “Some people it fucks up, I know that. But it makes other people really cool, and you're really cool.”

She grinned. “Hey, if I'm so fuckin’ cool then why am I dating the literal king of all geeks?”

Sam shook his head. “Okay, let’s get one thing straight, _he’s_ lucky to have _you_. He’s a mess.”

“I know he’s a mess, but he’s so damn cute with it, and I guess I’m kind of a mess too...”

“There you have it then.”

She sighed. “What if I don’t make it out? What happens to him?”

“Whoa, who said you’re not making it out?”

“It’s a possibility, Sam, and I wanna know that Steve’ll be fine.”

Sam put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her to his chest. “Steve’s been through a lot already, I think he could get through anything if he tried. But the thing is, you ain’t dying, so it’s not an issue.”

“If I die, you can have him.”

“I don’t want him.”

“My ghost will get you for that, Sam. At least take Sunshine.”

Steve walked into the room with Wanda and Brandon. Kijana took a deep breath and stood up. “You ready, sweetheart?”

She threw her arms around him, taking him by surprise. He hugged her back, tighter. “I’m ready.” She pulled away and turned to Wanda. “You know the plan, sestra?” Wanda nodded. “Do you also know what to do if something goes wrong?”

“Get out of there as soon as possible.”

Kijana gave her a thumbs up. “Welp, let’s get this weird shit over with.”

* * *

 

The place was exactly as she’d left it. Untouched by the years of wear and tear. The street was still eerily quiet. The building was still dark. The streetlights came on as they walked under them. The old man controlled everything, every detail of his life and the lives of the people around him.

She drew her dagger and turned around. “Wanda, stay in the shadows behind me. Steve, Sam, and especially Brandon, keep your distance. If I need you, I’ll let you know. He told me to come but he probably has traps set up all over the place because he’s an asshole and a bastard. Odds are he’s also kidnapped other girls… because he’s an asshole and a bastard.”

“Just girls?” Sam asked.

She nodded. “He’s a pervert, an asshole, and a bastard. We should get going. He knows we’re here.”

Kijana led them up the stoop steps, using her powers to unlock and open the door. All the lights were out in the first small, hallway. It wreaked of his potions, old trash, and dirty clothing. All the windows were boarded with wood painted black. It should’ve brought back painful memories, and Steve kept an eye on her to gauge her reaction, but she didn’t even look phased.

She tried listening for creaking, footsteps, heavy breathing. The place was dead silent. Then there was the loud crash of music against their ears, like an old stereo turned up to it’s highest volume. Kijana covered her ears and tried focusing on finding the source.

“Second floor!” she shouted. “Second floor, end of the hallway! Don’t touch anything on the way there!”

They ran up the stairs, towards the sound. They came to the room at the end of the hall, and there was a note on the door addressed to Kijana.

_“My darling, if they see your boyfriend or anyone else from your Avengers team, they will slit their throats.”_

She stepped back from the door and tried thinking quickly. “We have to get them out of there…” The wording of the note gave her an idea and she looked back at Brandon. “Steve or an Avenger, huh?... Brandon, you ready to be a hero?”

He smiled. “Who raised me?”

Brandon kicked the door down. There were three shaking girls, all older than fifteen but younger than twenty, inside, with knives taped to their hands. He approached them quietly, trying to get them to calm down. He quickly undid the tape and threw the knives into the wall across the room. Then, he opened the window leading to the fire escape, but they wouldn’t move.

“Come with me!” 

They shook their heads. “We’ll be punished if we leave.” One told him.

“That what he told you?” He took her hand. “I know a girl who left and she’s fine, she’s better than fine. She’s an Avenger.”

“An Avenger?”

He nodded and smiled. “She’s got a great boyfriend and she’s built the best possible life for herself. What’s waiting for you out there is a million and one times better than what’s in here.”

The girls looked at the window and back at Brandon. “You sure?”

He nodded. “He won’t even notice you’re gone. Just keep running. Find a phone, call your parents, and call the police.”

Without hesitation, they leapt to their feet and out the window, rushing down the fire escape and onto the street. Even though their feet were bare, they just kept running forward. The rest of the group came in and checked the place. Kijana patted Brandon on the back.

“Good job. What a way with words.”

He shrugged. “I’ve written some poetry.”

She stuck her head out the window to check that the girls were long gone. “You should make an inspirational calendar.”

“He had you in here?” Wanda asked. The room was covered in dust and grime. Everything covered in cloth had a stain. There were holes in the walls, and beds were clearly unstable. “I wouldn’t even keep my worst enemy in this room…”

She nodded. “I spent years in this place. I think the window being able to open is pretty new.” She took one last look around and ran for the door. “Something’s weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“It isn’t right! This is too easy!”

Before the rest of the group could respond, the door between them slammed. Kijana was alone, and the old man was standing at the end of the hallway. “Glad you could make it. Just a shame you didn’t come alone.”

She could hear the others trying to break down the door, but it was about as unbreakable as she was. “This isn’t fair.”

“Neither is you removing your memories of me.”

She pouted. “Aww, honey, the memories are gone but I don’t need them to remember the piece of garbage you are.”

He shook his head and walked towards her. “Kijana, I loved you. You were my prized possession.”

“God, I never understood this, why do you talk like a rejected James Earl Jones monologue?”

“You never used to talk much at all..."

Kijana was baffled by that statement. "I _hated_ you and I ended up marrying a talker."

"Hate is such a strong word to use against your family.”

He reached for her face and she slashed him across the cheek. He fell back and wailed. “You trapped my goddamn family behind a door!”

“You’ll regret doing that.”

“I promise you that’s untrue.”

He stood up straight, his face immediately healing. “Those girls were going to be your sisters. All of you, powerful women, united with me to take over New York.”

“Like the Spice Girls only evil?... Am I Scary Spice? Please tell me I’m Scary Spice. Anyway, I know the girls were just a distraction. You never did like your victims to be that thin…”

He chuckled. “So you remember some things.”

“I’ve been thick my whole life and you wanted more girls like me, it's not rocket science.”

“Yes, I did enjoy that you had a bit more to hold on to.”

“Don't let him get to you!” Steve shouted. “You can do this right, you're bigger than him.”

“I know, baby.”

The old man shook his head. “I still can’t believe you’re sleeping with a man who represents and protects a nation that has thrown you out.” he said. “Even worse, you’ve developed feelings for him. If he were just violating you, I think I’d be more understanding. It's ludicrous.”

“I needed orgasms and emotional fulfillment, I got both.” she said with a smile. “And it’s killing you, isn’t it? Killing you to know that I’m happy and powerful without you?”

He ran up to her, grabbing her by the neck and pinning her to the door trapping her friends. She kicked and kicked but he wouldn’t budge. “Your body is mine. Your mind is mine. Your powers are mine. _You_ are mine.”

“So I guess I should cancel that ‘Property of Steve, If Lost Return To Steve’ t-shirt I ordered.” He opened his mouth and she grabbed his tongue, cutting it before he could even realize what was happening. He let her go and doubled over in pain. Getting back on her feet, she kicked him to the ground and stood over him. “If you hadn’t trapped Wanda behind that door, that could’ve been avoided. She would’ve blocked your thoughts and your death would’ve been quicker and less painful, but you had to be a giant dickeating deflated balloon as always.”

She leaned over him and he spat blood in her face. She wiped her eyes and he pulled her to the ground with him. Crawling over her, he took her dagger from her hand and raised it high above her chest, aiming for her heart. She reached for her back up and quickly suspended the dagger in the air with her powers.

“It’s made of metal.” she said. His eyes were suddenly filled with fear. “Tsk, tsk, looks like you’ll have to repeat 11th grade. Tell me, have you ever heard of double penetration?”

She plunged the suspended dagger into his heart through his back, while stabbing his chest with the other. The heart was the only way to kill him, that’s the one thing she remembered. His blood gushed onto her, and his glowing eyes became dark and lifeless. She wanted to watch him die, she wanted to see his soul leave his body.

While he was still holding on to life, she leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "I want you to feel helpless. I want you to die thinking about how you were killed by the monster you created."

He went limp and she rolled on top of him, pulling her dagger from his chest.

When it was done, the rest of the group finally managed to break down the door, and the lights and streetlights flickered on in and around the house. Any magic he’d used was now dead, because his heart stopped. The only living proof that he'd done anything was the house and Kijana herself.

She stared at his face, the face of her tormentor, feeling the greatest relief she’d ever felt. But she also felt a bit odd. His blood was all over her hands, her dagger, her clothes. His face was frozen in a state of shock.

Brandon and Steve pulled her away from him. Steve took her dagger away and pulled her close to his chest. “Are you okay?” She didn’t respond, or even look at him. He rubbed her back. They could hear police sirens and an ambulance wailing down the street. “Let’s get you home and cleaned up, okay?”

“Wait.” She went to the broken door and pulled his note off. Then she dipped her finger in his blood to write one of her own.

_“Kidnapper, murderer, rapist, responsible for the death + disappearances of at least five Black and Latina girls. Tried to kill an Avenger.”_

She pinned the note to his forehead and sighed. “You can take me home now. I miss my damn cat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i didn't proofread this, so, any inconsistencies are my bad as always... because i'm a disaster


	20. Bottling Things Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to another edition of "kendra, why the fuck are you editing instead of taking a nap?"

The Avengers crowded around the door to the gym, looking at each other and listening to the music get more and more violent as time went on. Kijana had been in there for what felt like hours. This had been going on for three days straight. To say the behavior was generating a great deal of worry was an understatement.

Ever since that night in Harlem, she'd been off. She was fine for the first two days, but then she became sullen and withdrawn, more than usual. She wasn't even touching or kissing Steve much anymore. She was barely texting her brothers back. Then there was the new routine of coming to the facility early in the morning and beating the shit out of training dummies for hours while music drowned out any other sound on the floor.

“Listen, I don’t mean to dump any responsibility on you or anything, but… That’s your girlfriend.” Rhodey told Steve. “And she just killed someone, _violently_. Keej is strong but that’s something no one gets used to, and she’s not the poster child for handling things well.”

Steve sighed. It wasn’t that he wasn’t worried, he was, he just wasn’t sure how to get her to open up about it. Honestly, he didn’t know if she _would_ open up about it. “I know, it’s just… You know how she is when she trains.”

“You think that this is _training_?” Pietro asked him. “She never trains alone, she usually does it with Sam.”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. “Is Sam not in there?”

Wanda shook her head. “Sam’s out getting coffee right now... What is this song?”

“It's Mr. Self Destruct and it isn't exactly a song you listen to while casually knocking on a few punching bags…” Nat replied. 

"Has she said anything to any of you?"

They shook their heads. Rhodey squeezed the bridge of his nose. "She mentioned something to me yesterday about not sleeping too well, but it was said in passing so I didn't think too much of it."

Steve nodded. “I'll talk to her... Wait, how do I start?”

"You could start with 'hello'." suggested Vision. 

When that said, they all left to give Steve and Kijana some space and privacy, except for Pietro and Wanda. Steve was about to walk into the gym when he noticed that they were hanging back. “You two have something you need to tell me?”

Wanda stepped forward. “I was worried yesterday morning. I had Pietro go over and talk to her so that I could get a read on her mind and it’s not good, Steve. She’s replaying the moment in her head over and over. All she seems to remember is the blood and the look in his eyes. But she’s also thinking about you…”

“About me?”

“She’s worried you’ll look at her in a different way since this happened.” Pietro explained. 

“So she probably doesn’t want to see me right now, right?”

“You’re very good at this.”

“Pietro, please…” Wanda put her hand on Steve’s shoulder. “Just be gentle, everything will be fine.”

Steve thanked her and walked into the gym. Kijana was busy doing kickboxing moves on a rather unlucky dummy. Her hair was down, which was unusual, and she wasn’t taking very many breaks between rounds of moves. The quick action was distracting, she didn’t have to think about much else as long as she kept moving.

Upon closer inspection he saw that her knuckles were bloodied and bruised. What was she doing to herself? As he got closer, there was so much he wanted to say to her, but he remembered to start with 'Hello'.

“Hey, sweetheart.”

She stopped and turned towards him, not looking him in the eye. “Steve, hey.”

He decided not to touch her but bridged a bit of the gap of space between them anyway. She could practically hear his heartbeat, and she already knew what he was about to say. It's a shame, Steve’s talks would probably have more power if Kijana couldn’t read him like a book.

“What are you up to?”

“Letting out some rage.” She threw a few last good punches.

“For the third day straight? Must be some rage.”

She glared at him. “Yeah, you could say that.” She turned the music down. “Are you here to file a noise complaint or tell me that you’re worried about me?”

“At least you know that I’m worried about you.”

She laughed dryly and wiped her face with a towel. “Steve, you would worry about each individual butterfly if you could. You’d name them. You'd put little trackers on their wings. You’d build them all tiny butterfly homes. They'd declare you king of the butterflies... I wish I could be angrier at you.”

“We have to talk about what happened.”

"Do we?" She went back to avoiding his eyes and dug out her water bottle, taking a sip before taking one final swing at the dummy.

"Yeah, sooner than later."

“Why though? I know what happened, you know what happened, I killed him. He can’t hurt anyone else, we should all feel overjoyed with my fantastic act of heroism. I’m a real, true Avenger now. You and I should be draped in American flag, letting the wind blow our hair. Everything should be okay.”

“But it isn’t, you’re not okay, that’s why we need to talk.”

She rolled her eyes. “And if I decline?”

“Kijana, I’m just trying to help.”

“So wildly out of character for you…”

“You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“Too late, luckily I heal."

He reached out and pushed her hair behind her ear. "Yeah, your body heals cuts and bruises, but-"

She pushed his hand away. "Stop trying, Steve! You mean so much to me and I don't wanna push you away, but you don’t know how I feel.” 

His eyes pleaded with her to take a moment and think. "Then _tell me_." 

She sniffled and crossed her arms. "Well, right now, I fucking hate myself." she said. "Not because I did it, but because I regret doing it... And you warned me that this would happen! I should’ve listened to you, why have I never listened to you before? I'm such a dick.”

“No, you’re not. Don't do that to yourself."

"There's something wrong with me, I can't ever just let myself be happy."

“Nothing’s wrong with you, Kijana. You're not perfect but, I mean, who is? You're reacting normally.” Steve stared at her for a moment, and she kept her eyes on her feet. “Do you feel better?”

She looked up at him. “What?”

“Now that you got that out, do you feel better?" She wiped her cheeks and Steve mentally cursed himself. "Jesus, Sam’s so good at this…”

She rubbed the back of her neck and chuckled a bit. The sound made Steve perk right up. “Actually, you weren't too shabby, I do feel a little better."

He perked up a little. "Really?"

Kijana pinched his cheeks. She knew how much he hated that, and that told him that she'd be just fine. He'd take any sign that his girl was getting better. "Yeah, I just wanna stop thinking about it.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. “You need to stop bottling things up.”

“Pot calling the kettle black…” She kissed him. There was something about kissing him after not doing it for days that made her feel so much better. One day she'd tell him this, probably when he was sleep and couldn't remember her being such a sap.

He grinned. “Fair enough.” He took her hands in his. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“Why?” she asked, going with him anyway.

“Fresh air, Keej. _Trees_. The oxygen will clear your head.”

“Are we gonna fuck under a tree?”

“Not today.”

"Not today is a promise for later, you do know that, right?"

"I said what I said."

He led her outside of the facility and out onto the grass. They found a quiet spot, reasonably far from the turmoil and Steve sat underneath a tree. Kijana scrunched up her nose.

“Yeah, I’m not a huge fan of the ‘sitting in dirt’ concept, babe.”

Steve pouted and pulled her closer to him. “Please, just cooperate with me, just this once.”

God, she hated him and his stupid puppy dog eyes. “Fine.”

She sat between his legs, her back resting against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. “There we go. A nice, quiet place to stop bottling things up together.”

“Where do you want me to start? Before I stabbed the guy, during the stabbing, or after?”

“Wherever you wanna start.”

There was a moment of silence. “I couldn’t get the blood smell off my hands for days. It was like, even when he’s dead he’s still on me. I didn’t even wanna touch Sunshine because I was afraid I get the smell on her.

“The smell isn’t on you now.”

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t kill people, Steve, that was never me. I couldn’t even kill under his control. I feel like I took something that didn’t belong to me.”

“He was going to die anyway. There wasn’t a jury on this Earth who would’ve let him get away with a life sentence.”

“I know, but… I know…”

Steve rubbed her arms. “You probably won’t get over this, and I can’t say I understand how you feel. I don’t, but none of this changes the fact that you made a choice that you knew would protect the safety of others, and that’s never a bad thing. That’s the Kijana I know.”

She grinned. “You don’t know shit, Spangles.” 

"I know that I'm proud of you, and nothing you do could make me not be proud of you for what you did."

She turned over so that she was on her hands and knees, and pressed a small kiss to his forehead. “I’m sorry for promising to tell you everything and then continuing to hide things from you, you deserve better than that.”

"You deserve better than me not asking." He smiled and pulled her back into his lap. “We’ll work on it. Anything else you need to talk about?"

"Yeah, I need new daggers, my old ones smell like dead creepy old dude..."

* * *

Later that day…

Kijana walked down to the kitchen in Steve’s shirt and her exercise pants. Her hair was all over the place and her face was completely flushed. Did she care? No. It wasn’t like there was someone in the tower who didn’t know her and Steve were together. They'd been extremely "together" all day, you'd think they would've been tired by then. The only reason they were even taking a break was so that Kijana could get some water, but Steve had already come up for an idea for what _had_ to be round four or five.

She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and carried it to the sink and turning on the tap.

“Hello there…” said a foreign voice.

“Wazzup?” she replied, not caring who it was. She was too excited to get back to the room and finish what she'd started to worry about the fact that there was someone else in the kitchen with her.

“You’re new.”

“Heh, not really.”

“New to me... Wait, you're that 'Aja' girl, right?"

She gulped down her water and put it in the dishwasher, still not looking at the person. “Yup! I’d love to talk about it, but I have a super soldier willing to try handcuffs and I’m not sure I’ll get a chance to say that again because he damn sure ain't putting me in handcuffs...”

She walked back to the room to finish up with Steve, and that’s how Tony met Kijana for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as is usually the case with me, this is kind of the end, and the next chapter will be an epilogue


	21. Aja's Debut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place about five months after chapter 20, sorry it took so long and sorry i didn't edit much, i'm soooo tired

“You know the drill, right?”

Kijana smudged her eye makeup across her eyes and winked at him. “Get in, fuck shit up, get out.”

Steve laughed, somehow still smitten after months of being with her.  “Close enough.”

Sam handed her a communicator and she pulled her hair out of the way to put it in her ear. Kijana had been on small missions here and there, and her presence in the team was becoming the center of controversy and speculation in the news. Everyone wanted to know who she was and where she came from. There theories all over the place.  

But today was gonna be a big day, and even though thousands were in danger she could help but feel a bit of excitement running through her veins. A Hydra-esque terrorist group had taken Times Square hostage, including the police. Explosives and military grade weapons were confirmed. All hands were needed on deck.

“You ready, sis?” Sam asked her.

She nodded. They did their secret handshake. “Never been more ready.”

“Once we clear this place, the reporters are gonna swarm.” Tony said. “You ready for that?”

“I think so. I’ve been watching you swing your dick around enough, I think I know how to handle myself in front of the media.”

Tony smirked. He’d grown to really like Kijana. He’d never tell her that to her face, though.

* * *

 

Once the whole team was suited up, they headed off to Times Square. Sam flew Kijana in and they landed on a rooftop. Some civilians spotted them so they motioned for them to keep quiet.

“We need to clear the buildings first.” Kijana said. “If we can get the little pockets down, taking down the leader will be so much easier.”

“Great plan, but I have a better one.” Tony said.

“Well, fuck, please share.”

He didn’t have to. Before Kijana could think of something else to say, Tony swooped down and landed right in the center of Times Square with Rhodey right behind him. Sam and Kijana looked at each other.

“Some of the idiots ran outside, I just made your jobs easier. Congratulations.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him, Cap.” Kijana said.

Steve sighed. “It sounds fun, but don’t. Aja, can you get in?”

“The question isn’t can we, but how fast.”

She ripped the door to the roof off of it’s hinges and ran down the stairs, only to be greeted by gunfire. Sam shielded her with his wings and they kept moving. She peeked her head out over his wings just so that she could get a clear view of the guns.

She made the closest attacker’s gun hit him in the face, and then she pulled it over to herself. Sam’s eyes widened. “Do you know how to use that?”

She nodded and shot the man in the shoulder and the leg, then took care of his other friends in the stairwell before breaking the gun into pieces. “I hate guns.”

She ran over to the first man she shot and pressed her finger into the wound on his leg. “Where’s the bomb in this building?”

He looked up at her and laughed. “You’re the new girl… You know what they’re saying about you, right?”

She rolled her eyes and pressed harder, the man screamed. “Guess who doesn’t care. Tell us where the bomb is and maybe I’ll call for a medic when the dust clears.”

“Rumor is you fucked someone to get your powers.”

This was so boring and time wasting. “Yeah, your dad. Tell us where the bomb is.”

“Basement… You don’t look like you know how to disarm a bomb.”

“Bye.” She punched him, knocking him out and they started making a beeline for the basement.

Tony was right about one thing, some of the agents had run out into the streets, and some were huddled around windows trying to make sure that Iron Man and War Machine didn’t somehow make their way into the building. They should’ve been more focused, because once they started flying out of windows, they all became a bit edgy.

Kijana and Sam were a force to be reckoned with. Kijana guarded Sam’s six and Sam shielded her from oncoming bullets. Steve didn’t have to worry about either of them when they were together on missions. Still, that didn’t keep him from worrying.

“Aja, Falcon. Status.”

“On our way to the basement.” Sam replied. “The bomb is there.”

“I found the bomb in the Disney Store, Nat’s disarming it now.”

Kijana scoffed. “A bomb in the Disney Store, really?”

“I don’t think terrorists care about Mickey Mouse.” Steve told her. “You sure you’re okay? Need back-up?”

She giggled. They’d made it to the first floor and were now running through the hallways trying to find the way to the basement. “Careful, Cap, people might start thinking you like me.”

She practically hear the smile in his voice. “What a nightmare that would be.”

They’d made it down to the basement and Kijana was freaked out by how quiet and dark it was. “If there’s anyone here you better hope we don’t find you.” she said.

There was a pause. Sam and Kijana moved down the steps with their weapons ready. Suddenly their movement was halted by the appearance of an attacker holding a teenage girl by the throat. “We have hostages!”

Kijana blinked and tried thinking of a way to save her. “Well, why?”

“Why do we have hostages?”

“Yeah. It seems like a small dick move to me.”

The man pointed his gun at her. “What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, if _I_ were a terrorist trying to strike fear into the American public I think I’d come prepared to fight off Earth’s mightiest without stooping to the level of common bank robbers.”

“You don’t know what we’re capable of. We’ll blow you and your friends to pieces.”

“You’re using a teenage girl as a shield. Meanwhile, we have a dude with a vibranium shield, two flying weapons, a Russian spy, a former PJ turned greatest bird in the sky, two enhanced twins, and me. I break faces.”

“Do you?”

She broke his gun and he gasped. While he was distracted she picked up the handle and swiped him across the face with it. “Yeah, I do.” She turned to the girl. “You gotta go, hon.”

“Y-You’re… Black.”

She smiled. “Black as you, sweetheart. Run to the alleys if you can, stay off the main streets.”

The girl nodded and ran as fast as she could.

The room with the bomb was filled with armed men standing around Black and brown kids. Some were Brandon’s age, but most were younger. They looked at her and Sam as if they were gods on Earth. For a brief moment, she felt like one.

“Don’t move another inch!”

“Oh fuck off!”

Using all of her focus, Kijana tore all of their guns to pieces, giving Sam time to charge in and fight them all. Once the guns were out of the way, and the terrorists were busy fighting the two Avengers, they told the kids to run out. They ran out of sight, but three stayed behind to watch the fight. How many times were they gonna see two Black superheroes fighting for them?

The fight was long but they did it. Kijana had the last terrorist on the ground and was tying him up with his own belt while Sam handled the bomb. “Can you disarm it?”

“Yeah, but I need your eyes.”

“I got you, one second.”

“Aja, Falcon, you two still fine?” Steve asked. “Your building is the last to be cleared.”

“We figured.” Sam said. “How is it out there?”

“We’re doing okay, but we could use you.”

“Guys, the bomb is built like a chest. The outside is the rib cage and the explosive is the heart. You have to break the shell to disarm the bomb.” Natasha said.

Kijana ran over to the bomb and started working on ripping apart the outer shell. “Thanks Nat. Should be easy.”

“I forgot you control metal. It’s a little unfair, I have to say.”

Kijana giggled. “I wish I could crush men with my thighs like you but we can’t all be winners.”

“Is that true, Cap? Can she not crush you with her thighs?” Tony asked.

She pinched the bridge of her nose. Sam carefully pulled out the bomb and started disarming it. “Shut up, Tony. I swear to God-” Kijana was surprised by a fist swinging towards her face. She quickly dodged and grabbed it, pushing the attacker back. One of them must’ve woken up and got free. “Sam!”

“I can handle it! Just keep him away from me.”

The guy seemed to be built like a brick house. Bigger than Kijana in almost every way, but she wasn’t afraid. She’d fought worse monsters. He was surprised by how quick she was. He dodged almost every swing by a hair. She clearly grazed him a few times. He tried kicking her back.

“Did you just fucking kick me?”

“The bomb’s disarmed!” Sam said, holding it up.

She kicked the guy in the crotch, and when he doubled over she grabbed his head and slammed it into the wall. Somehow he shook it off.

“Can you please go down?!” He grinned at her and she gagged. “Oh God, no, we’re fighting and I’m taken.” He punched her in the cheek and she returned the punch twice as hard. He became limp and fell to the ground. “Can we go home now?”

“Nope!” Steve said. “Please help us out, they brought back up out here!”

Kijana turned to the three kids who stayed behind and put her hands on her hips. “Didn’t I tell y’all to leave?”

They stared at her with their jaws hanging. One of them tried walking closer to her. “I think I’m in love…”

She looked back at Sam and he shrugged. “Please leave, it’s not safe. Stick to the side streets”

“Okay, whatever you say, Aja!”

The kids ran out. Sam and Kijana followed closely behind. “We’re on our way out!”

The final fight in the middle of Times Square was epic. News helicopters flew overhead reporting the battle live. It wasn’t as big as The Battle of New York, but watching the Avengers fight was never boring.

When it was all done, the police rounded up the last of the terrorists and, just as Tony predicted, the media swarmed. Every reporter wanted a statement from the Avengers. Kijana tried making it over to Sam so that he could fly them away, but she was stopped by a woman from CNN who thought stuffing a microphone in her face was a good way to say ‘Hello’.

“We’re here with the newest Avenger, Aja. Who just helped save the iconic Times Square from a frightening terrorist attack.”

“Fuck me…” Kijana said under her breath.

“Tell us, what’s it like being the newest member of this team. You’re fighting alongside icons and spies and billionaires…. So, who are you?”

She took a deep breath. “I’m, uh… Something.”

The reporter raised an eyebrow. “You’re… something?”

She smirked at the camera. “I’m a literal magical Black girl.” She made her hands glow purple so that they could see.

“How’d you get those powers of your’s?”

“They were dropped on me, I figured the only thing to do with them is help people. Eventually I caught the attention of the Avengers, I guess, the rest is history.” She couldn’t see Sam anymore. “I’m just… a lucky girl.” She heard the revving of a motorcycle engine behind her and let out a sigh of relief. “Now you show up!”

Steve smiled. “Hop on.”

She waved to the news cameras and climbed on the back of his motorcycle and they drove away.

* * *

 

The next day, Kijana was eating breakfast as usual, when five people climbed through her window instead of the usual four. It was her brothers, as she’d suspected, but it was also Wade.

“CONGRATULATIONS!” Her brothers cheered.

She scooped another spoonful of cereal into her mouth. “I have a front door for a reason.”

“You were on the news!” Dorian said. “We watched you be weird on the news!”

Wade patted her on the back. “I thought you did great! You didn’t faint, you didn’t spontaneously die, you didn’t shit your pants…”

“She didn’t say ‘for fuck’s sake’ once the entire time.” Tyler added.

She covered her face. “Great, so I was as weird as I thought.”

Brandon nodded. “Maybe a little weirder is the fact that your interview wasn’t the thing the news focused on.”

She furrowed her brows together. Wade turned on the tv and changed to Fox News. She grimaced.  “God, really?”

A blurry picture of her giving Steve a kiss as they rode away was front and center with the tagline ‘Sex-vengers’.

“They’ve been talking about this non-stop since last night.” Brandon said.

“Why?”

Leon sat across from her. “Because, Keej, you were sucking face with Cap after a mission while also being beautiful and powerful and not a blue eyed white girl. It’s a lot for Fox News to take.”

“You think fifty warning shots would be a lot for Fox News to take?” Wade asked.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t care. They would’ve figured it out and torn me apart eventually.”

“Wait, what the fuck?” Dorian said. “Is that… Is that Steve?”

They turned to the screen and it was, in fact, Steve, walking onto the Fox News set in costume, without his helmet. The anchors pulled out a chair for him but he refused it. “I’m not gonna be here long.”

“For fuck’s sake…” Kijana whispered.

Tyler gasped. “There she goes!”

Wade nodded. "I'm gonna make her a mug that says 'for fuck's sake'."

“I don’t like appearing on the news but this smear campaign against my teammate has to stop.” he said. “She’s one of the most powerful members of our team and a wonderful person and she doesn’t deserve to get ripped apart for 24 hours straight because you can’t believe that I could’ve possibly fallen in love with her.”

Kijana smiled. “Steve just told me he loved me on live tv...”

“Aww, he professed his love on Fox News…” Tyler said. “Real, modern romance.”

Steve blushed, realizing that he’d just said that on tv. “Well... I’ll be leaving.”

“That's way better than how I did it." Wade said. He noticed her face and laughed. "You are going to fuck his brains out, aren't you?"

She nodded. "I am, Wade, I am."

* * *

 

Later that night, after hanging up his uniform at the facility, Steve finally got back to his place. He had to get Fox off Kijana’s back, he knew she’d just ignore them but he physically couldn’t. Admitting he was in love with her was a little much, but he hoped she wouldn’t react badly.

He hung up his jacket and walked to his room, ready to just slip into bed. He turned on the light and he felt his heart stop when he saw Kijana laying on the bed in lacy lingerie.

“Hey.” she said.

“... Hey.”

She got off the bed and grabbed him by his collar, pulling him towards the bed. “I love you, too.”

He grinned as they fell onto the bed together. “Oh yeah?”

“Oh yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's it! part of me is like "if you really miss kijana you can just write a one shot later" and then the other part of me is like "hoe.... don't do it"... i'm sad about this being over :(


End file.
